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Recently I joined back on facebook as the Martial Arts group I attended run classes through their group on Facebook.

It's good that classes have continued online. However there has been a dark side to joining back on Facebook, especially with other stuff going on in my life. Stuff to do with attachment, sense of self, family etc.

Facebook is a easy place to spy on former class mates. I did this and also have spied on distant family members I have never met. At times...

I spent the last hour procrastinating on writing this. That must say something. I'm feel both motivated and deterred to write this.

A few weeks ago in a Whats App convo my cousin said about how I was always so serious and that I should be myself. This advice was similar to ther ex-colleague who ghosted me prior to her ghosting me.

Weirdly, or not so weirdly, right now I feel a bit angry with my cousin and like I don't want to connect with her. Not just for her telling...

So I have been a Temporary Kitchen Porter in a Central London office block that I work at since about January.

Last week I decided to say that I want to go permanent, as they are apparently looking for a permanent kitchen porter. However my mind has changed and I am most likely gonna turn down the offer.

As usual, I haven't really made any friends or close acquaintances at the workplace. That isn't accurate, one office worker has been interested in speaking to me and...

The fear of rejection often comes up. This is usually from the view of males as of course men are almost always expected to approach and befriend women if they dont want to end alone as most women never make the first move beyond smiling and the odd hello if you are lucky. You almost always get the advice of just go talk to women all the time and get used to it, get used to rejection! Go speak to old cashiers at the supermarket. Nothing bad can happen so what have you got to lose? etc.
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