At my workplace it feels like I am learning about myself from others. As I have probably mentioned before, there is a woman who is vocally expressive, caring, seems satisfied with life and gets on with everyone, even me and the students. Probably even gets away with more stuff cause she is so liked. I feel it's mostly her character that is likable. Although she is silly sometimes, and I think is comfortable with herself, I envy her for how easily she gets on with others. I still like her as a colleague...

The title pretty much sums it up.

I'm alone, no-one would want to go out with someone like me. I mean, i play games and i spend whole days playing shogi online. Whenever i try to talk to people i sweat and i'm just kinda useless. I have no real good points about me. Looks like i'm going to be forever alone.

I'm bored because i have absolutely nothing to do with life. I guess GCSE's don't help but it still sucks.

GCSE's are stressing me out!!!!!
...

it seem that society focuses on this more than genuine, meaningful relationships?

So kind of had this thought. At the moment I can say I have only 2 people in my life that genuinely support me and I am thankful for them. Idk if I would've met as genuine of people if I wasn't as socially awkward or anxious. I may but this is the thought that came to my mind.

I was at work the other day and there is this receptionist that reminds me of when I have worked and my interaction...

So ... told people about me being rejected and now most of the people in the year below me know about it.

I am really panicky rn. My heart is pounding so I hid in the toilets. I don’t know what to do. I am pulling my hair out and I am not up for this. This had a great impact on me and now that other people know about it, it just hurts me more.

So, I just got rejected by ...

I don’t want sympathy from anyone but no one has an idea how much energy I had to put in to talk to her and to try not to shake out of control when i’m around her. My friends were right. I was just a shoulder for her to lean on.

All my efforts were for nothing and now I really don’t know what to do with myself.

Now I realise that I am a fail at life and to everyone.