Met with a potentially new therapist yesterday. I've been in and out of talking therapy for over a decade, sometimes I'd keep the same therapist for a year, two years, its generally massively helpful and I feel I do best with an open person centred approach. This time, a GP referal, they offered me CBT, a few measly sessions, I wasnt over keen but hey-ho one is grateful and accepts what is.

In the treatment room, I had a panic attack that lasted 30 out of the 45 minutes we had together....

Sun rythms, summer solstice. This part of the world attracts a gazillion visitors at this time; pagans, druids and fae types as well as party types who just want to get mashed up .

I attempted a Buddhist friends vigil-gathering in his field, we could see that the area was a scene with all night drumming and dancing and chanting and who knows what. The local sheep had all been shepherded into a single field, for their safety I guess and they were not happy. The sheep bleating...

Happy Summer Solstice! I wish i could have gone to a stone circle and set fire to something but there are none around here and being a recluse I have no friends or transport.

[IMG]http://theday.co.uk/images/stories/2012/2012-06/2012-06-20_solstice.jpg[/IMG]

Emerging after another immersion in the deep labyrinth of self, at an especially potent time. Full moon on the 13th, Friday 13th, the monthly bleed, rising sun-power of solstice (increased light = increased awareness) and a grief anniversary build-up too.

Didnt leave home for three days – mostly didnt leave the bed, which became the holding womb-space. Did you ever see Tracy Emin's piece, where she staged her bed after a weekend of deep experience. Mine was a yogic version lol,...

Without stimulation and structure its very hard to stay motivated or have any kind of enthusiasm. Its so easy to get into the mindset of wanting to sleep later in the day, not leave the house and hide away, to want to give up.I often feel hopeless when I wake up and worse. I therefore forced myself to go out several times again. Its only a minor help though and does not have any long term beneficial effects.Its getting harder to do though.

First I went to the sculpture exhibition. To...