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Social Anxiety When You Were A Child

Posted 21st October 2011 at 05:36 by mhealer3

Quote:
Originally Posted by mhealer3 View Post
so true, & i thanku 4 sharing.
myself, i was not liked by my mother, & had 2 pretend it didn't bother me.
also had 2 fend 4 myself with the bullies @ school (for grades7,8 & then @ my highschool it started all over again--for 2 more years)!!
boys tortured me & i just felt like i was burning inside from the terror of going to school.
still, i went 'cause i didn't know i had any options.
college was impossible until i was 28. even then i cried the whole 2nd year. almost quit.
i married the first guy that would have me when i was 30. my son came next year.
my mother & sister came 2 my beautiful home & laughed @ me, saying
it was ridiculous that i would ever take care of anybody. i ignored it. i felt like an iceberg.
their cruelty was always made out 2 be that "i can't take a joke".
strangely, my husband treated me the same way as mother:my pain was funny to him.
he ignored me except 4 sex & the nice paycheck i brought home.
i was actually paying someone to be neglectful & rude 2 me. (and giving the jerk sex).
that's horrible to say, but i really did that, for 20 years.
i'm sure i just had low expectations.
now i'm finally alone & safe. but i don't leave the house much.
i hope there's some justice for me someday.
i left my home without alimony in the divorce--just to get away quicker, cleaner.
thanks 4 listening.
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