After going out 2 days in a row I now feel lazy because im not doing anything, I wish there was somewhere I coudl go or something I could do, having no friends deffinatly takes its toll.
I wish I actually had the courage to go to a SA meeting or some sort of fun group

So like I said I had to go to a meal with my family, the time was getting closer coming to leaving and I always start feeling sick, I ended up doing some breathing exercises which helped a little.
On the way to the resturant I asked soo many times if I could come back home, then we finally arrived and omg i freaked out, there was so many people in there, I went hysterical!
My dad was swearing because he was running out of petrol so I forced myself out the car, calmed myself down and...

I really thought having a boyfriend would be a nice thing, its just, he's got a massive temper, i say the littlest thing and he blows his cool with me.
he hasnt botherd to even check what my SA is about so he can understand it
Ive been with him for 3 years, when me and my family moved house they didnt want to split us up since i had no friends so they invited him to move in, but im soo regreting it, when he upsets me it makes me worse, i feel alone, and i dont feel safe...

Dont you feel so guilty when a friend or family member has allegys to certain food but your eating it right infront of them?
My dad is allergict to ALOT of things because of his cancer, and mom made this gorgeous curry with coconut in, gosh so heavenly!
but my dad was trying to get into his chicken and rice dish while being surrounded by our lovely dinner, my god i felt so guilty, i could see him trying not to acknowledge our food, oh the guilt!

Argh I got a crappy chest infection, I feel soo run down today, I was watching a tv programme and they was on holiday, oh how I would love to be there right now, I could do with something like that to cheer me up big time.
I havent been out for awhile and I could do with going to a paradise for awhile, this month is so busy, this saturday ive gotta go for a meal, dont get me wrong, but eating out is a big issue for me, and i have to go to a wedding, ive picked the most pretty dress, its blue...