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Feeling brighter

Posted 26th April 2014 at 09:11 by Star Rainbow

I am grateful to have had the space to post here. And I outed my sticky mood on the nutrition forum, so it's like I've blemished my stainless journal.

People pleasing and perfectionism! I know a young woman (not me!) who tires herself out trying to 'be happy' and 'make the best of things' and she just comes across as a bit weak and vague, she never states her true preference, for fear of offending.

Happiness is a choice, to the extent that however cr*ppy I'm feeling,...
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Persona, people pleasing and paradox

Posted 25th April 2014 at 09:16 by Star Rainbow

Have recently started a journal on a nutrition blog - nutrition is such a big piece of it - wellness. I've somehow concocted a positive persona over there; the best bits. I'm all bright and breezy over there and narrate my successes, not my wobbly moments.

Members are loving my journal and that version of myself; well it is me! I'm not fantasising. I felt to keep my emotional journey out of it, this time. Cos I've blogged previously on food/eating psychology and attracted a lot of...
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Family, trauma and healing

Posted 22nd April 2014 at 10:30 by Star Rainbow

ITs a heavy title and a heavy subject so if you are of tender disposition today, click away now!

Just read Indigo's journal and though I hadnt thought I was affected by the Bank Hol; maybe I was, I just couldnt see it. (Thanks - Indigo )

Helps explain why I collapsed into junk food over the weekend, which is a really old pattern, I thought I had released. A coping mechanism to self-soothe and prevent strong, scary feelings come up and overwhelm me. It wasnt...
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Bank Holiday Blues

Posted 21st April 2014 at 22:47 by indigo777

So today was a bank holiday Monday. Itís almost always something I have hated. I still hated bank holidays even when I hated work and wanted days off because my job was so stressful. This goes back to my childhood when my family never went out or did anything on such holidays and I seldom had any friends to do anything with like normal kids did. There was always an unremitting boredom and tedium to such days like the most boring of boring Sundays. I usually had work or school the next day which...
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Walking alone

Posted 20th April 2014 at 07:16 by Star Rainbow

Waking up to a very different kind of weather than in recent days. Grey, covered sky, sound of wind, a more muted feel.

That's helpful in some ways, a permission to be quieter. Though the recent sunshine has been a total mood boost.

Yesterday, Saturday I took a longish nature walk with my camera and felt relieved that nature 'spoke' to me. Seeing, feeling? A movement of energy in seemingly static branches. The wonderment of spring growth.

Ferns unfolding...
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