Over the weekend, Saturday, I felt depressed and down on how it seems like I can't connect with people and how it had seemed that way as a kid. I was thinking I must be autistic or something. The thought was so strong in my mind that I felt I had to let a colleague that I am comfortable with know.

I thought the message was weird I pointed out how I think I may have autism but also asked how her day was and that I would not send "depressing"posts again. After I thought,...

I have suspected that I may be autistic before and even seeked referal for it through the NHS but have been denied referal twice.

I think this time I am going to research autism more and provide a summary of why I suspect that I may be autistic.

I feel my workplace is causing me an identity crisis. It's an environment where extroversion is respected. I seem to actually like some outgoing colleagues, however I also envy how some literally seem like people magnets when...

So today I was still in a bad, helpless mood as I felt that I can't connect with anyone. This lunch again went similar. The mildly autistic colleague was telling us the names of items in different languages. Then him and the colleauge I was eating lunch with spoke some French and some stuff that didn't involve me. Then when the other colleague left, the mildly autistic colleague focused on the TV.

I was thinking about the situation, was thinking telling the collegue how I can't connect...

Adding on from yesterdays blog I feel the fact that I m not able to converse casually and effortlessly with most people I know and that I have been called boring or have had it hinted at me through other peoples actons is making me feel miserable. What good is life if you can't connect with anyone?

Somebody did comment on the last blog that I don't come across as boring here but I need more than words I need to feel that I can connect with a person and we both enjoy each others company....

As some of you may know, I was upset that this birthday on my FB only a few friends responded Happy Birthday to me. My sister brought a cake for her friend but nothing for me.

This upset me cause it made me think of some likeable people who would probably get presents from friends and wouldn't have their birthday forgotten.

It also made me think of work, the jobs I have had and the social experiences that I have had. For example, most jobs I have had I never seem able...