Today I didnt answer the door, and when my dad got back he got annoyed with me. I could feel a scorched feeling coming across my cheeks, he said he was sorry, but I feel so humiliated that I couldnt do a simple thing as to open the door.

It might just be me, but since I havent been socialising ive forgotten how to dress, if that makes sense?
Anything item of clothing I own looks like an older woman could wear/something sensible. Its almost like ive forgotten my younger ways. Maybe because I have no friends the same age or because I hang out with my auntie or mother and older generations?

So my mum convinced me to claim sickness benefit so I had some income coming in, and I guess it's okay, but now I have to go for one of their medical tests, I really dont want to..
It even says ''if you have a mental health problem then you dont have to have the assesment''
but for some reason these people arent listening. im so nervous and scared, Id rather stick their money

I feel like such a failure.
I was mooching through an old folder with receipts in and came across my old ambitions written on a peice of paper before I has SA.
I wanted to be somebody and do something with my life, I cant believe I have failed myself in everyway, and constantly being reminded of it as a new day comes and goes.

Going to Alton Towers this month,its my first time going and my god im so nervous!! Ive seen on a forum that there's alot of chavs?
Im hoping I can handle a massive crowd, I purchased some fastpasses so I dont have to be stuck in a 2 hour que with masses of people, I can just imagine some idiot kid making fun of me, :x