This week, last two weeks, I feel like I have been the most mentally comfortable, confident (still shy though), I have been in a long time. I feel like how I felt as a child, maybe that is how I am meant to feel?

In return with feeling more positive I have noticed that lots of people seem to react more positively to me. I have been able to small talk with the students I clean for and sometimes received a treat in return, gotten on better with some colleagues and it feels like my head...

This week I would say that I have had a good week, like the best week I have had mentally for a very long time. It's surprising how simple it has felt to be positive. Basically cooking my own food, as my mum doesn't always cook, and I have more control over what is going in my body I think has made me feel some sense of control. Then making more of an effort, though I can do more, to greet students has made the environment I clean in more positive.

It has also almost felt unreal...

I was going to move out of my house but cancelled at last minute due to poor preparation but think I actually have to move out for my mental good. Part of me feels like I am blaming my house and situation for my behavior but part of me also feels that my home environment is a problem.

If I compare my mum to the vocally expressive woman I think she is similar in certain ways, cultural behaviors and some values, as they are both West African. However my mum never seems at peace with...

Well this week at work has been stressful. In fact at the moment I feel so drained that I couldn't enjoy the music I usually enjoy. I don't just feel drained from hard work though, it seems mostly mental.

This week at work I had to work with a brand new colleague and train him despite only doing this job for about 3 weeks and getting used to the timetable. I suspect that this guy is on the autism spectrum. He expects a perfect schedule, tasks to be done a certain way. For once, I...

I woke up angry today, Tbh if I wasn't self aware I am sure that I would either die of a heart attack in 30 years time or do something evil. What I described in my last blog does make me angry and feels unfair. I don't feel pretending it doesn't make me angry would do much good, it would be me suppressing my real emotions and my anxiety, difficulty to express is due to suppressing feelings and actions.

I think I need to do something to release the energy since the energy isn't healthy,...