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Warehouse Job

Posted 7th January 2021 at 23:23 by amara

So I had a warehouse job that I have quit after two days. My situation of being in uni, getting student loans and living with a parent that gets housing benefits has allowed me to do this.

The warehouse job was over soled by the person who recruited me for the job. The guy made the company seem much more exclusive that it really is.

The job mostly had people my age, British, multi-ethnic Londoners with some people who were immigrants. Doing the job made me notice how out of touch I am with the mainstream culture for my age. The first day I wore a jumper, wasn't told of what uniform to wear. Everyone else there wore tracksuits or puffer jackets. So the next day I went in with a hoodie.

The music played there was always either drill/hip hop or grime. A few times reggae was played though.

On the first day I think I felt embarrassed that I didn't fit in.

The job was also a reminder of knowing not being the same as being. Despite having more self awareness from journaling, I was just as shy as I have been in the past, even more so.

This may sound proud or arrogant, but after this job experience I feel warehouse work isn't for me, or at least the type of warehouse work I was doing. It's not that I'm too good for it or anything but I just felt like I didn't have the same priorities or values as the environment seemed to encourage. It seemed to promote conformity. But at the same time I know that my peer employees could also share the same values as me but hide them to fit in the warehouse environment. But if you have to hide your values to fit in I also feel that subconsciously over time you start to forget some of your true values and beliefs.

I noticed on the second day, probably my fault for being passive and shy, I was losing my motivation to do daily running like I have been doing. I felt less proud as I had been ordered around abit by other colleagues. I know if this trend continued I might lose some self belief and confidence over time. Although I don't think I picked the best course for myself, I feel uni has shown me that I am smart at some stuff. Lockdown has also shown me what I truly care about. Running has shown me a bit of a growth mindset in regards to exercise. It makes me a bit angry now as I notice how dead end jobs try to show you how incapable you are or they put employees on a ranking order and if you are at the bottom you are made to believe you are somehow less able. They can also kill your faith in what you truly enjoy depending on how you mix with the colleagues and stuff.

However, I think I need to improve my social competence. If I know that I have skills or perspectives to offer, I need the confidence and social competence to show that. Maybe this warehouse job would have been marginally better if I was more confident. It seems obvious to me that for me to gain social competence I basically have to come to terms with who I am and my social difficulties. It sounds so simple but feels like a challenge to do. I don't think actually doing it is the hard part, but facing up to the facts is the hardest part.

I feel having work where I feel in control would be really good but that is hard to aim for if you don't know what job that would be.
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