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It's all about the way you carry yourself

Posted 26th April 2015 at 14:36 by amara

I was told off for the way I carried myself in the 2/2 Choi Kwang Doi Taster class I attended. The instructor said it makes me an easy target and I should stop looking towards the ground and have my eyes darting around the place and that it makes me an easy target for bullies. While what he said was probably the painful truth I just really think the way he confronted the problem was very wrong. I was offended by his confrontation mainly because I felt that he was blaming me for my poor body language, I feel that being blamed for subconscious poor body language is like when someone is blamed for feeling depressed, I'm sorry but this has happened so much to me to the point where a simple, non empathetic, confrontation on my body language or social anxiety pisses me off.

Since I was confronted by the Choi Kwang Doi instructor, I have looked up the phrase "It's all about the way you carry yourself" more online and have built a bit of a dislike for it. Yeah, your body language defines how good of a person you are. Although the phrase is true I also find it, dear I say it, a bit superficial, an excuse one can use to justify the actions of a bully.

I've since decided that the Choi Kwang Doi aren't for me. Maybe I do need to help myself build confidence, improve my body language, but sorry I can't accept to pay for or go to a class that demonises me, maybe that is a slight over exaggeration, simply for feeling anxious and showing the symptoms. I may attend a Martial Arts class in the future but as of now I feel that it is best to focus on other things and hobbies n which I feel I can relate to the people in the group more. I may look like an anxious disaster but I can think for myself and don't need to change who I am to be good enough.
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  1. Old Comment
    Putting somebody down isn't a good way to get them to carry themselves more confidently. Very poor indeed.

    I agree with the principal though, I live in a 'vibrant' area, since getting my confident, head up walk practiced I get far less attention from people. When in groups often they may just say something or joke around but group mentality has meant the odd opportunist mugging happens. They always start on people who look different(cant help that), and those looking down trying to sneak past nervously.

    I feel I was at risk once when one called me mental patient hair, I burst out laughing at how great a put-down, I clearly looked impressed with the originality of it and it all diffused but did feel it could have gone much worse if I kept staring down and had to barge round them, as I would have before.

    It is only a 20 mt walk to the shop and then back, it isnt a walk I can pull off all the time.


    Best way I guess is to learn to walk confidently but I just act when I need to. Shoulders back, eyes ahead but not any eye contact and walk quite fast, with intent. Although I hate doing it I will now work through a group rather than walking all the way around. When I get back I do actually feel a bit more confident, perhaps the walk makes you actually feel more confident too.
    Posted 26th April 2015 at 18:38 by flumpsy flumpsy is offline
 

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