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Old

Not one of Us

Posted 22nd March 2014 at 15:12 by indigo777

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?


Is it enough to just get rid of your self consciousness and become more confident in order to conquer SA? The old just be your self theory. What if you act yourself and people still donít like you anyway? Do you need to do more, do you then need to change your personality in order to fit in and be accepted? I think many people with SA are often not just shy; they may be socially inept and socially unaware also. The...
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Old

I'm looking at the big sky

Posted 21st March 2014 at 15:19 by indigo777

[B][I]I'm looking at the big sky.
You never really understood me.
You never really tried.[/I][/B]


Another strange but emotional day. My mother was in a wooden box about 12 inches by 10, or at least her ashes were. Although she died several months ago her ashes have only just been interned due to the usual family madness and buried next to my dad at the local cemetery. We did not get on for much of her later years and yet memories come flooding back of years gone...
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Old

But I remember everything.......

Posted 16th March 2014 at 15:15 by indigo777

[I]"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
[SIZE="7"][B]But I remember everything"[/B] [/I]
[/SIZE]

I think differently now that I am older and yet the pain never truly goes away but then how can it? All our memories are the sum of what we are, they make you and they form you into...
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Old

Contstant Craving

Posted 9th March 2014 at 15:28 by indigo777

One of the worst and most memorable aspects of SA for me was the pain at work of forever being the outsider, of never really fitting in no matter what I did. To work in a large company for years and never really feel comfortable has unavoidable effects on your mood, emotions and long term mental health. In short the SA actually defines your character and personality. You become what the SA allows you to become and this is the way you then appear to the outside world; grumpy, unfriendly, unapproachable....
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Old

Friday afternoon musings with butterflies.

Posted 7th March 2014 at 21:17 by indigo777

Like many people with SA I find it very hard to live in the moment, to enjoy what is right there in front of me at the time. The anxiety makes me worry about things to come so I never live in that particularly instant and often donít enjoy the here and now. I repeatedly have to make a conscious decision to slow down and see what is right there in front of me to stop me thinking ahead and becoming anxious. I have to monitor my behaviour and mood and try to change it at the time or I subconsciously...
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