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Posted 14th November 2017 at 22:09 by shinetaro

Ok, so GCSE's are coming up and my school has decided to make us do work experience so they set up a night to go around and talk to people about what they do for a living.

I didn't want to go but my parents forced me to. The only problem for me is that the meeting was in a large open hall where other people can hear everything i say. Because of this i became really stressed. I haven't told my parents about SAD because they don't acknowledge that kind of thing so i didn't know what to do. I spent 2 hours trying to find someone to talk to. My parents even tried to walk away from me to try to make me talk to someone.

My mum looked very distressed that i looked really stressed so we had a talk about it at home. I still don't have the guts to tell her directly about my SAD but i hinted at it. All she said was "deal with it". She doesn't understand how much pain i go through everyday trying to talk to people who i've know for several years so talking to complete strangers is near impossible for me.

Recently my condition has gotten worse. At first i could only talk very quietly to teachers but now if i can i use actions instead. I also get tired much more easily. One of my friends, who is the complete opposite to told me to stop thinking people are my enemy. This is impossible!! I can't justify myself because of SA and dyslexia so i am stuck in an endless hole.

My plan to try to change failed amazingly when i had a mental breakdown a couple days ago because i had just had enough of life. People judging me everyday and me having to talk to people really annoys me now.

I don't know how i am going to be able to survive education and somehow manage to get a job.
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