A High School Flashback
Posted 18th April 2015 at 12:42 by Amara 94
Just came across an old classmates profile on FB. Felt a bit angry, understanding and questionable. This girl used to make a fuss when the teacher made us sit together by shouting "He is a geek, I don't wanna sit next to him." I'm not lying this happened on more than a few occasions that we sat next to each other. We had a weird relationship. Idk why, but I gave her a Christmas card back in Year 7 or something, I think cause she was "cool" and I wanted her to like me. And towards the end of High School she definitely wasn't my friend but would stick up a bit for me if I was picked on.
I wish in High School that I knew I was good enough rather than becoming a closed in perfectionist just to try and impress others. The reason I am questionable is cause I wonder if me being a people pleaser rather than just being honest and accepting myself contributed to my SA and added weight to the message I got from this classmate, that their is something wrong with me. I wasn't the most academically smart student, that girl was probably better in some subjects, but I didn't have the typical interests most other guys did. But there were a few nerds, boys who hung around with girls, and they maybe got teased but not really bullied, I regret not being as acceptive as them. But hey I wouldn't be who I am without my life experience.
I only feel forgivable as this happened when we were kids and she might have changed.
I guess I should use this as a reminder to be myself instead of try to please others I don't connect with.
I wish in High School that I knew I was good enough rather than becoming a closed in perfectionist just to try and impress others. The reason I am questionable is cause I wonder if me being a people pleaser rather than just being honest and accepting myself contributed to my SA and added weight to the message I got from this classmate, that their is something wrong with me. I wasn't the most academically smart student, that girl was probably better in some subjects, but I didn't have the typical interests most other guys did. But there were a few nerds, boys who hung around with girls, and they maybe got teased but not really bullied, I regret not being as acceptive as them. But hey I wouldn't be who I am without my life experience.
I only feel forgivable as this happened when we were kids and she might have changed.
I guess I should use this as a reminder to be myself instead of try to please others I don't connect with.
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