I hate it when its time to go to a massive occasion.
All this week ive tried not to think about it, and it helped..sort of
Later on today ive got to go to a wedding, and my nerves have just started kicking in.
Im feeling so sick at the moment, I really hope I dont freak out when I see people arriving at the venue.
Why did I agree to coming ?

Just thinking about it thoughts arent facts?
I think I should start a new thinking pattern,
Instead of just going with them I should go against them?
After all, thoughts are only judgments.

When someone you love is seriously ill you cant help putting it at the back of your mind.
It only gets braught up when something to do with that illness effects them a little more.
The other day I was told my dad might not be able to 'see' me anymore because of his sight, I know I wasnt told at the best of moments since I was in the middle of the street.
I guess im a little jelous of my sister and brothers because they have a another dad

Living in the UK tends to make me feel down alot thanks to the cause of rain
Id love to just livr somewhere, where the weather makes you feel good 24/7
I dont no if anyone else feels the same, but have you ever thought that if you're going to start over, you cant do it here? that it needs to be in a new location?
The problem with me is, I could never move to a happy sunshine city, and of the UK because I know the family im leaving behind.
I guess you live where...

Right now I wish I could walk into a recovery camp for a few weeks then come out fine.
I felt so silly a few moments ago
Some workmen had to come and fix a chairlift for my dad, the guy who was fixing it came into the kitchen where I was and some how I ended up on the floor sweeping it with the dust pan and brush.
Untill it actually came to the floor being completely clean I just sat there untill my legs went dead, I guess thats the most annoying thing about SA is...