Bank Holiday Blues

So today was a bank holiday Monday. It’s almost always something I have hated. I still hated bank holidays even when I hated work and wanted days off because my job was so stressful. This goes back to my childhood when my family never went out or did anything on such holidays and I seldom had any friends to do anything with like normal kids did. There was always an unremitting boredom and tedium to such days like the most boring of boring Sundays. I usually had work or school the next day which also depressed me but there was never anything to do either. The TV was worse than normal with old B+W films on, the shops usually closed and everywhere you did go was full of people making any peace impossible. Oh and could not stand being with any of my family either!

Even though I am now not working after my redundancy and it’s so many years later it still feels just as depressing. Today was a sunny day but that just means more people everywhere. To make matters worse public transport was almost at a standstill and many buses were not running at all so I had limited choice of where to go. So I went for a 4 hour walk to a local country park. I walk a lot. It’s the only way I found to relieve stress. However my peaceful country park where I have been so many times before was like Blackpool pleasure beach with hordes of people in every possible direction.

It’s a horrible feeling to be alone among lots of people. Of the hundreds of people I saw today probably less than 10 were on their own. They were probably mad also, well some of them. Everyone is in a family group, with friends or in couples. Everyone. Walking alone among so many people really does bring it home to you how different you are to still be alone. I almost feel on show and my paranoia starts to grow as if people are looking and laughing at me. Its hard to relax, its hard to enjoy anything. With so many people around it was hard to see any wildlife or even take many pictures although I took the ones below. The only purpose of such a walk is to waste daytime hours and survive until evening. Worse still, there is another bank holiday Monday in about 2 weeks. I hope it rains.


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