The problem with a self-obsessed society
Posted 6th May 2018 at 09:27 by Amara 94
This week I would say that I have had a good week, like the best week I have had mentally for a very long time. It's surprising how simple it has felt to be positive. Basically cooking my own food, as my mum doesn't always cook, and I have more control over what is going in my body I think has made me feel some sense of control. Then making more of an effort, though I can do more, to greet students has made the environment I clean in more positive.
It has also almost felt unreal how nice some people react, for example, I went to Asda last week. Gave a homeless woman a few pennies as that was all I had. She spoke a bit to me and how I should stay off drugs, drinking etc. She also had grandchildren from lots of different countries. Also complimented how kind I was, tbh I wouldn't say I was trying to be kind. Then also got free reusable chopstick from a student after I had a small convo with her about China. It seems when I have positive energy, feel good in myself most people seem nicer to me.
I have noticed though some maintenance colleagues, there are only three where I work, have been a bit more distant to me or irritated. But they still didn't like me when I was anxious. I feel I have came to the understanding though that it is not really me that makes them feel like they should be irritated with me. It's their insecurities. It's like rather than anxiety, because they like to maintain a macho image, their insecurity shows in their frustration. This makes me somehow not feel angry with them however I would admit I don't know the best way to react to their obvious irritation, if I did I would be able to confront them or not need to keep some distance towards them.
Not all the maintenance guys act in this irritated way though, two of them do. I wouldn't really go into detail of their behaviors but what I do notice of the maintenance guy that seem irritated is that they seem to have the mentality that they have to the best, successful people are superior to less successful people and that it takes a certain type of person to do well in life. A quite limited view. I don't know if self obsession is the problem or correct word to use, I was going to say individualism but it also isn't the correct word really, but I feel this is the problem in our modern society that fuels aggression, depression and anxiety.
We are told that we can be anyone we want to if we put the work into it. We are also told that certain techniques can help us better deal with anxiety. Doing something from an early age would make us skilled at that thing. And maybe all of this is very true, however it's also much more rigid than we are as human beings. I don't feel I know how to explain this well, but society says we should be a certain way, but maybe our natural selves is the most ideal way to be.
I always talk about this colleague but I feel I have learnt a lot about how to live a mentally healthy life from her. Anyways what I notice from her is that she definitely has some strengths, that she is better at than most people. She seems really good at knowing how someone feels, she told me she is good at Maths. One of her daughters who is a bit like her is studying Business and Psychology. But I have noticed she doesn't take life too seriously or, should I say, has a more acceptable view on life than most. She has her weaknesses though, for example she can be a bit messy.
I notice most other people I am around, including me, try a bit too hard sometimes to control what is around them. And when they can't control something they want to control the result seems to be insecurity. Recently I feel that our society has became advanced however, we still have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to our mental wellbeing.
Idk if this is important, but this colleague I speak about who is like a free spirit isn't the most fluent English speaker, grew up in Congo. The maintenance colleagues seem more culturally Western in how they act, and with all the Mental health awareness and stuff we have promoted in our society they don't seem as emotionally healthy or at ease as the Congolese colleague, who is more accepting of life. It's not just the maintenance workers in this blog I notice feel a need for control, but feel insecure as they can't control something that they want to control.
I listened to this guy a long time ago and recently re-watched a few of his video and believe what he says is spot on though his views towards things like porn and religion are a bit questionable for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOrtnACJ8Io&t=52s
Also I read this this morning, I believe this society still has a way to go towards making people more secure in their selves.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...oung-americans
It has also almost felt unreal how nice some people react, for example, I went to Asda last week. Gave a homeless woman a few pennies as that was all I had. She spoke a bit to me and how I should stay off drugs, drinking etc. She also had grandchildren from lots of different countries. Also complimented how kind I was, tbh I wouldn't say I was trying to be kind. Then also got free reusable chopstick from a student after I had a small convo with her about China. It seems when I have positive energy, feel good in myself most people seem nicer to me.
I have noticed though some maintenance colleagues, there are only three where I work, have been a bit more distant to me or irritated. But they still didn't like me when I was anxious. I feel I have came to the understanding though that it is not really me that makes them feel like they should be irritated with me. It's their insecurities. It's like rather than anxiety, because they like to maintain a macho image, their insecurity shows in their frustration. This makes me somehow not feel angry with them however I would admit I don't know the best way to react to their obvious irritation, if I did I would be able to confront them or not need to keep some distance towards them.
Not all the maintenance guys act in this irritated way though, two of them do. I wouldn't really go into detail of their behaviors but what I do notice of the maintenance guy that seem irritated is that they seem to have the mentality that they have to the best, successful people are superior to less successful people and that it takes a certain type of person to do well in life. A quite limited view. I don't know if self obsession is the problem or correct word to use, I was going to say individualism but it also isn't the correct word really, but I feel this is the problem in our modern society that fuels aggression, depression and anxiety.
We are told that we can be anyone we want to if we put the work into it. We are also told that certain techniques can help us better deal with anxiety. Doing something from an early age would make us skilled at that thing. And maybe all of this is very true, however it's also much more rigid than we are as human beings. I don't feel I know how to explain this well, but society says we should be a certain way, but maybe our natural selves is the most ideal way to be.
I always talk about this colleague but I feel I have learnt a lot about how to live a mentally healthy life from her. Anyways what I notice from her is that she definitely has some strengths, that she is better at than most people. She seems really good at knowing how someone feels, she told me she is good at Maths. One of her daughters who is a bit like her is studying Business and Psychology. But I have noticed she doesn't take life too seriously or, should I say, has a more acceptable view on life than most. She has her weaknesses though, for example she can be a bit messy.
I notice most other people I am around, including me, try a bit too hard sometimes to control what is around them. And when they can't control something they want to control the result seems to be insecurity. Recently I feel that our society has became advanced however, we still have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to our mental wellbeing.
Idk if this is important, but this colleague I speak about who is like a free spirit isn't the most fluent English speaker, grew up in Congo. The maintenance colleagues seem more culturally Western in how they act, and with all the Mental health awareness and stuff we have promoted in our society they don't seem as emotionally healthy or at ease as the Congolese colleague, who is more accepting of life. It's not just the maintenance workers in this blog I notice feel a need for control, but feel insecure as they can't control something that they want to control.
I listened to this guy a long time ago and recently re-watched a few of his video and believe what he says is spot on though his views towards things like porn and religion are a bit questionable for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOrtnACJ8Io&t=52s
Also I read this this morning, I believe this society still has a way to go towards making people more secure in their selves.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...oung-americans
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