I am not sure,quite a few people on here seem to have had this view over the years although it could stem from their own guilt.

But as the odd ones out its still up to us to change ourselves otherwise we end up as social outcasts and weird loners.

I think its instinctive after years of isolation and non improvement. I think I often come across aggressively as I see people as potential enemies and so not friendly although I cant smile and have no witty chat anyway so have mostly given up. However my home life from about 11 onwards was often stressful and miserable so I was unhappy all the time anyway.

I think anxiety and complete isolation can often lead to depression and paranoia which is mostly ignored in connection with anxiety. I have tried to think differently and yet just going to the supermarket today was highly stressful and I hated it. Its like once the switch in my head is activated its very hard to turn it off or whatever I tell my mind to think it ignores me anyway. This is why I believe CBT therapy would be useless for me.Perhaps my depression would need to be cured first as without getting rid of this first I have no motivation to do anything and get into furious tempers.

The biggest problem I find with meditation is lack of quiet as I can get none at home,even sitting in the garden. In fact I have never ever gotten anything from trying to meditate except frustration as it does not work for me ever. if I imagine myself at the top of a mountain or anywhere else I see nothing and feel nothing and then get angry that others can and I cant.

Thanks for your reply.
Although they say its never too late I think chances and opportunities diminish greatly through age. I could never have a family now, that's gone forever. Finding someone to be with,maybe friends and find a job that I could do and not hate are the best I could achieve but again are much harder.

I read 99% of online advice for social anxiety was completely useless and I find its pretty much true. Its really for mild to moderate shyness and assumes that you have an irrational fear and just need pushing into doing things and you will get better with a little effort. In reality if you act very anxious most people will at best feel sorry for you but still not want to see you again so your anxiety and avoidance get worse not better, just like using online forums.

Thank for replies. Hugs back to both of you.

There are other things going on as well but not everything is possible to post.

Thanks for the reply Charlotte. Yes, I think lots of problems stem from our childhood and never get resolved. Both my parents had mental issues.

Thanks custard

I always thought of people that loved themselves as being mentally ill or at least highly irritating anyway. I think that acceptance is much more preferable to loving yourself in finding inner peace.

Feel the fear and learn to love yourself anyway!

Yes, then there is almost an anger with such people as if you are just being deliberately negative. You can't just flick a switch and love yourself after years of feeling other people hate and dislike you.