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SA is really subconscious behaviour

Posted 5th September 2015 at 12:53 by amara

Although it's obvious that Social anxiety is based on subconscious thoughts, today an recruitment session I had just made me so aware of that fact.

As I walked into the workers canteen, the waiting place before the session, I quickly rushed towards the empty table with just one women feeling anxious that the people in the canteen would notice me and maybe laugh or react negatively to me. I don't know rationally I am aware it isn't all about me and no one is perfect however in public I am usually so paranoid that someone might hate me or judge me negatively. I also felt that the woman that was on the same table as me would catch onto my social awkwardness and would judge me for it.

The recruitment session was similar to a classroom situation and I was kind of selectively mute in that, due to anxiety I couldn't speak to anyone in the recruitment session except if I was asked a question by another interviewee or the teacher. This shows that if I were to study in College or University again as of present, Social Anxiety would find a way to hold me back unless I really get control of managing it.

We had an interview at the end of the recruitment session, although I did alright in the recruitment session I am pretty sure I messed up on the interview by getting thrown off by some questions, I need to practise more interview questions. And the thing is that although I wouldn't say I prepared for this recruitment session, I was told about it two days ago by email, I did go to it with a good attitude that ended up spiralling like a crashing plane. By the end of the session I felt a bit bad, like no one likes me and misunderstood. But to be honest, the influence of my anxiety on my body language didn't leave a good impression. It's literally like I felt my anxiety holding me back for any fear of standing out or being noticed.

I guess my anxiety is really subconscious and I can't really choose to not be anxious while I am anxious, but I can learn to deal with thoughts and feelings of anxiety more.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    It is also possible to find ways to try to make situations less anxiety causing, I am sure you already do but I tend to spend a great deal of time on that side of things.
    Posted 6th September 2015 at 04:42 by flumpsy flumpsy is offline
  2. Old Comment
    ^I suppose you are right, I could have managed my anxiety better than I did in the situation. But also, the anxiety was completely subconscious and took complete control of my behaviour.
    Posted 6th September 2015 at 12:32 by amara amara is offline
  3. Old Comment
    I mean try to avoid it at all through preparation. I am not saying you didnt do it right but there is always room for improvement.

    I always say the thing so many people get wrong about interviews is not paying attention to being as comfortable as possible. The number of people that turned up for interviews clearly wearing ill fitting suits reserved for interviews.

    One of the things that helped me get through an incredibly stressful social event I had a while back was that I had bought all the clothes months before, second hand, I had worn then around the house lots and although i looked the same as all the other pengiuns [b]I[/b] knew i was in very specific clothes that I was as comfortable in as possible in. not a hired suit which would be what most people did.

    It has been so long since I went to a job interview so i cant think f any relevant examples. Interviews terrify my whichever side of the table i am on, they scare even the most 'normal' of people.
    Posted 6th September 2015 at 18:16 by flumpsy flumpsy is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Yeah, I know I could have prepared for the interview more, it would have probably helped me manage my anxiety in the situation.
    Posted 6th September 2015 at 19:29 by amara amara is offline
 

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