Lonely like Sunday Morning

I went out on Sunday morning for a change as I was going to an event in the city(alone of course!) As I walked around I noticed just how many people were sitting outside drinking at the various coffee houses and speaking with friends and family or just reading the sunday papers. I felt a pang of jealousy. It looked a nice thing to do on a sunny summers morning.I’d like to be able to do that but I know no one in this city and hate going to such places alone as I feel awkward and weird and it usually makes my SA even worse. Some people advise you to join various meetup groups but I have such misery inside of me. Do you think they would mind if they talked to each other and I just sat there rocking backwards and forwards humming to myself and occasionally crying about the mess I had made of my life? What do I speak about even if the other person is lovely and I am not feeling nervous? As I said once before anxiety is hard but with added depression it becomes something much worse. I have numerous problems and am not normal in oh so many ways. I have no job and have never had a relationship. They say it's never too late. I think they're lying.