An excerpt from the Dalai Lama's book I was reading on holiday, something that I believe is important for a lot of people on here (including myself) who spend a lot of our lives wishing things were different in our lives and thinking about what we don't have in our lives and being severely miserable because of it and feeling hopeless and disillusioned because of it.
Quote:
There are two ways to create happiness. The first is external. By obtaining better shelter, better clothes, and better friends we can find a certain measure of happiness and satisfaction. The second is through mental development which yields inner happiness. However, these two approaches are not equally viable. External happiness cannot last long without its counterpart. If something is lacking in your perspective- if something is missing in your heart- then despite the most luxurious surroundings you cannot be happy. However, if you have peace of mind, you can find happiness even in the most difficult of circumstances.
Material advancement alone sometimes solves one problem but creates another. For example, certain people may have acquired wealth, a good education, and high social standing, yet happiness eludes them. They take sleeping pills and drink too much alcohol. Something is missing still not satisfied, so these people take refuge in drugs or in a bottle. On the other hand, some people who have less money to worry about enjoy more peace. They sleep well at night. Despite being poor in a material sense, they are content and happy. This shows the impact of a good mental attitude. Material development alone will not fully resolve the problem of humanity's suffering.
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I'm sure many are cynical about much of what the Dalai Lama and other wise guru types say, and I was up until very recently too, but I do genuinely believe he is right here, we can't be reliant on external and often impermanent factors for our happiness, whether that be in a material sense or a friendship/relationship sense, which is what I've been doing for years now, thinking I could only be happy if I had a partner and loads of friends. We can grow tired of materialistic things eventually and always desire something better or something we can't afford, and friendships and relationships can come to an end at any moment for any number of reasons. If we get too attached or reliant on these things, then we really suffer if we lose them and that's partly why Buddhism of course places so much emphasis on relinquishing attachments to material possessions.
It may be seen as a bit of an airy fairy thing to say (my dad calls it gobbledigook without thinking), but there's a reason why so many wise guru types like the Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle say that happiness comes from within ourselves, there is a lot of truth to it, I guess deep down I've always known this, just only recently have I actually come to truly understand it and believe it, and reading about Mindfulness and Buddhism on my recent holiday to Sri Lanka (a Buddhist country) has really opened my eyes. I'm just trying to stay open-minded to Buddhist principles (I even purchased a Buddha statue there which is sitting on my bedside table
) and not let the cynical and unnecessarily negative side of my brain get in the way too much at this point.