I’m feeling sad and upset.
My uncle died last night
I don’t really know how to process my feelings by myself. I’m sad that he’s died and feel upset. I feel upset in particular for my aunt, who is blind and relied on him, I’m not sure what her living situation is going to be.
I’m really sad for my cousins, we were very close as children.
But there’s also more complicated feelings there, about how sad I am about my relationship with my own sister and family, how we’re not close, though when I think back to my childhood with my family, this particular uncle and aunt and my cousins we seemed like a close family, we seemed like a close family then. But in the last 10 years or so I have felt quite estranged from my own family.
Then there’s the social anxiety of knowing there will be a family funeral soon.
Plus the anxiety of knowing that that generation is passing away and it probably won’t be very long before I lose my own parents.