Found a useful book for being social

[Jop]

Hi everyone,

I've just been reading a useful and enlightnening book: "Social skills for people with learning disabilities - A social capability approach, by Mark Burton and Carolyn Kagan with Pat Clements"

Its aimed primarily at disabled people who are in situations where their social circle is very narrow and often just down to carers etc. However, I think its relevant to us (or at least someone in my position) where it talks about how social relationships are formed and what makes good relationships with people as opposed to bad ones; in this sense its useful for anyone who is not a great, social butterfly.

It has helped me understand that what makes a friendship, is having something in common. If you feel someone is rejecting you, its actually that they just don't have anything in common with you.

To build a social network the book talks about different kinds of relationships like people we are aware of (a not very useful one way relationship in which nothing good come from), a role relationship (where we interact through our roles to each other like mother, doctor, work colleague) and lastly people who are similar to us in which we have something in common and people who complement us (that we are good for each other in a complementary way).

I haven't finished it yet, but the basic message is addressing your personal problems and adapting to be able to socialize better.

Anyway, in conclusion the book has helped me just have the feeling of just going out there and be myself. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, I don't care. There will be someone who you share interests with and be able to get on with. So you shouldn't be as anxious around other people.

I recommend this book to help you to understand how to make good relationships with other people.

[W!llow]

Sounds good I am interested in books that actually deal with how to socialise rather than just about the anxiety side of things.

[schneebeli]

Yes that sounds useful, thanks for posting about it.