#1
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From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
Before I link this interesting article, perfectly suited to people like ourselves, I'll go over a few points.
I have no issues with work colleagues spending time with each other outside of the workplace. I’ve done it myself on rare occasions when I've felt okay to do so and know the company I've been in won't 'take the mick' out of me (the latter being vital to me these days). It could be considered team-building and generally I see it as a positive thing. In no way would I want to stop people doing this purely because I don't. What issue I do have, however, are work colleagues literally forcing a 'must be social/outgoing' ethic on all of it’s staff whether they like it or not. We're all different people. Not everyone is a social butterfly and nor should anyone feel ‘wrong’ for being more introverted and private. Nor should they feel guilty for saying "no" or feel obliged to attend something they'd rather not. A simple, polite "no, thank you" should suffice. Sadly, it's the points I've raised in this particular paragraph which seem to be ignored from workplaces and ought to be reminded of to those who enjoy work-based social events. They need to also understand it's not necessarily a 'snub'. Anyway, here's the article. It's a French company from what I can make out but I'm sure we can relate to at least some of this : https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-ne...t-boring-work/ Don't worry if you can't read it all (paywalled), this is the main 'chunk' of the piece: "In its ruling, made earlier this month but only revealed this week, the appeals court pointed out that it was not everyone's cup of tea to "forcibly participate in seminars and end-of-week drinks frequently ending up in excessive alcohol intake, encouraged by associates who made very large quantities of alcohol available". Nor was it everyone's definition of "fun" to engage in "practices linking promiscuity, bullying and incitement to get involved in various forms of excess and misconduct". It said that the company's values of "fun" violated the ex-employee's "fundamental right to dignity and respect of private life" and that he was simply exercising his "freedom of expression" by not taking part. Their "fun and pro" culture translated, in fact, into "humiliating and intrusive practices regarding privacy such as simulated sexual acts, the obligation to share a bed with a colleague during seminars, the use of nicknames to designate people and hanging up deformed and made-up photos in offices", said the court in its ruling." This clearly sounds like a company which is way above and beyond the social spectrum of even the lot I work for. I very much agree with the 'fundamental right to dignity and respect of private life' part. I think this is what a lot of more social people, who's life circles around socialising, simply cannot understand. Personally speaking, I try to keep my work life and my private life separate. I don't want to increase my work life (by means of socialising with colleagues out-of-hours), whilst my private life suffers. That private life, which I enjoy as it helps me relax and recharge my 'batteries' for another week at work. My idea of fun is seen as boring, non-existent and tedious to many people. On the other and, I find some other people’s idea of fun scary, unnecessary, expensive and over the top. I'll be interested to hear what other people's thoughts are on this situation - especially as we approach Christmas where we're expected to be outgoing and attend parties. |
#2
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
it's got as bad as interviews. It's like having an interview last week and the woman was describing how they(the work team) have pub crawls and the "other day a colleague ending up slept on my sofa". And you know they're making judgements whether you'll be 'their type of person'. Rather than job capability, whether you're their type of person. And of course I didn't get the job.I think that's a wrong shift in direction of companies.
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#3
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
^^
Are you sure ithe case was from a French company and not the conservative party under Boris? Quote:
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#4
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
^^^ If the company wasn't Club 18-30, I think he might have a point!
Also some companies provide a "fun party atmosphere" environment to young, naive employees to hide the fact that they are totally being screwed over and being overworked and exploited for a pittance. I heard about someone the other day who used to work for a credit card company - all fun and games in the office, but they were being made to use dodgy practices to sell credit cards to people with poor credit, and getting only sales commissions in return, no actual salary. She got out when she realised how toxic it was. Last edited by anxiouslondoner; 25th November 2022 at 20:49. Reason: yes |
#5
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
Thank you for posting this, Hayman, and I agree with what you say. It does remind me of some places I worked at. In particular one place where the head of the accounts department browbeat his accounts coleagues into going to the pub every lunchtime. An Indian man joined the department and for religious reasons did not want to drink, but he too was pressured into going, so he left.
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#6
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
I can't remember if I have worked anywhere where I was pressured to socialise outside of work. But I do recall at my last long term role, my boss who was a bit of a stress head made all of us walk to the big garage nearby to buy a cake for this girl who was leaving. And this we did in our lunch hour. It really didn;t need all 5 of us to go. I consider my lunch hour as my 'Me time'. Usually I will sit in my car eating my lunch or sometimes I will treat myself.
When I said to her, I was going to take my lunch the bitch shouted at me! And one guy who was a graduate made a joke. That annoyed me but I didn;t say anything. I mean I liked the girl who was leaving but all this woman had to do was go her bloody self to buy the cake. Also the company where I quit, I noticed the girl who was training me, booked a team lunch. And I was a bit apprehensive about this as I said, my lunch is my time. One company I worked for many years ago, was the first company I felt really comfortable to actually socialise with people from my team. Although when it came to going to clubs and dancing I would start to feel awkward. The company I am at now. I was asked if I wanted to attend the Christmas party and i simply said I couldn't. And that seem fine. I mean I'm only a temp, its nice of them to ask but I just wouldn't feel comfortable. As it is I'm very quiet there and only speak if people start talking to me. I mean as long as you can do your job, I don;t think it should be a requirement to get involved in social events. I like to keep work separate from the outside. |
#7
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
No problem, Aelwyn. There's a pub about half a mile down the road from where I work. As pubs go, it's actually a decent one for the area and I have no issue at all with going there a few times a year after work, if there's a good enough reason. However, there used to be some members of staff (fortunately most have gone over the last three or four years - one of the main 'ringleaders' behind it retired, thankfully) who were insistent on making some excuse or occasion to go there practically every month... No thanks. That's just not for me. Events such as this often used to take place on Friday's, so I felt as though it would be not only unpaid overtime as such, but I felt as though I was losing a part of my valued private, weekend time. The worst of these 'offenders' also lived reasonably local, so it was no bother for them to get home after a few drinks afterwards. I live the best part of ten miles away from work - so I either couldn't drink, or had to find a lift to work and then from the pub in the evening. It's too much hassle for me - all for what, sitting with a pint or two, largely in silence, grinning and bearing the situation.
Obviously I didn't leave because of this situation but it was honestly getting to the point where the thought was going across my mind. Fortunately with most of those people now gone and COVID having it's effects on such events in recent years has practically ended that worry. Now and again some things do crop up which I have to make my excuses for, but they are now few and far between compared to how they were only five years ago. @Formershyguy - I still feel pressured to socialise outside of work but as above, this pressure has significantly eased in recent years. Those who still do pressurise me are, unfortunately management and one particular director. Fortunately no Christmas Dos have been arranged at our place this year. I'm very happy for it to remain that way. I don't mind a drink at the pub on the final day for instance, but that's about my limit. Even something like that hasn't been mentioned (as of yet at least) and again, if nothing does happen, then so be it. I'll be happy with that. |
#8
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
I remember when I was a about 21 I didn't go to this work do as my social anxiety was much worse during those years. I always felt anxious working there and I was making mistakes because I was too scared to ask for help. My boss tried to help me one time, in a really misguided way to ask me what he could do to make things easier. And he did this by having a word with me in a private office with another colleague.
It was a very lively office and I don't think I was suited to such a working environment. I've worked in many places like warehouses where these environments were just not suitable for me. And the thought of spending more time with these people outside of work just filled me with dread. Some companies especially if you're a temp I feel can make an excuse to let you go if you're not very outgoing. But they won't come out and say this as I'm sure it would come under unfair dismissal so they will find a PC way of doing it like they don't feel you will pick up the rest of the training or some BS. Ideally I would prefer to work for myself or from home until I retired. |
#9
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
I think one of the reasons why I've enjoyed the last few years in work more than the previous ten is that almost all of the office have been able to work from home - and barring a brief period of about a week, the office has never been fully manned since the first Covid Lockdown. It's been much quieter. Unfortunately, one of only two people who have been unable to work from home since this period has been the office manager and, typically, myself - who's job role is slightly different to the others.
It's just typical of my luck really. I'm the only person below the Office Manager who isn't allowed to work from home. Me... Probably the only person amongst everyone in there who is literally made for a working-from-home role. I do understand and accept my role would be incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to fulfil from home (and in no way do I feel singled-out - I do "get it"), it's just so typical of someone who deals with social anxiety not being able to have that privilege of being able to work away from people, in the comfort of my own home. In the case of the company I work for - three out of five working days are dealt with at home. Since my last post, I'm sorry to report that there has been a bit of a 'bubbling up' of me coming under the spotlight for 'not going out' again...with one individual really trying to push me to go out at some point over the next few weeks. I don't know how many different ways I can say "no thank you" over several sustained periods of 'attack' at me. I'm accustomed to this sort of treatment sadly - as I stand very much by something I've been saying since I very first signed up here - that Social Anxiety is something which is very much misunderstood by the majority of people and/or simply not accepted. What I've dealt with in recent days has only reinforced this viewpoint. It's a pity there isn't a British law of some description where employees are under no obligation to attend social events - where a simple "no thank you" should be enough to avoid repeat requests for the same event. It's almost like a form of harassment in my opinion. |
#10
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Re: From The Telegraph: "Man wins legal right to be 'boring' at work"
Lol , I can imagine that man out on a date and boasting to his potential mate over dinner,....
"yeah, I went to court so I could earn the right be boring at my work" His date says "taxi" |