What are you listening to just now?

[Alone.]

This is really triggering thoughts and feelings I have about a crush I met at my previous job. It also makes me feellike listening to 90's hip hop again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b12oKa0N04

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by Alone.

I actually withdrew from the barbering course i was going to do because I was doubting it was for me and questioning of i world got in the environment work social anxiety and social awkwardness. I can be impulsive with big decisions.

Now that I recently cut my hair after going about 2 months without cutting it. It makes me regret cancelling the course application. I thought it was an impulsive decision, maybe it was, but it wasn’t wrong.

Ah well. I think it’s because I just noticed how I haven’t progressed with the jobs I do. I’m currently a dishwasher/kitchen assistant. I was doing the same job in C 2016, but I’m better. I have been a uni dorm cleaner in the main areas and did a few warehouse jobs and hotel events staff work. They weren’t better than dishwashing, but this is like a dead end job where I wake up, work, get home and repeat. It’s not much of a way to really live. But I think the same can be said for something like barbering.

Thinking about it my job is also the bottom of the barrel in terms of social status. Which women would like a man who works as a dishwasher.

[Alone.]

The people that seem to have it good.

[Alone.]

[Alone.]

^ I didn’t agree with everything he said. For example I feel I need to be more accepting of my autism and stimming. My struggle comes from not acknowledging my autism in my day to day life.

This rivers videos has made me slightly more motivated. I also feel the fact that she seems to do hair styles in one on one appointments is motivating for me because it’s not the stereotypical type of Black urban barber in a way. I had bad experiences with a Caribbean barbers I use to go to. Then also the fact that she is skilled at adding hair to people with hair loss conditions and does it well is a bit like a middle finger to certain barber who would boast about not doing any enhancements on haircuts, are more focused on fading and never really longer hair. But I would say it’sa different style and skill set.

[Alone.]

This is like the ultimate price for not being honest

[Alone.]

[Ronnie_Pickering]

great song, albeit mildly depressing

[Dean Winchester]

So true...

[Ronnie_Pickering]

what a song

[Ronnie_Pickering]

I like this. You're in a train going across a barren landscape. Good for January.

[Percy]

[Merritt]

[Merritt]

If I had a clue how, I'd set this to a slow-motion montage of Kinky John Fowler clips. It'd get tens of views. Tens, I tell you.

[Percy]

[Percy]

[Ronnie_Pickering]

You will watch and not say a word

[Merritt]

Songs like these that can get a guaranteed emotional reaction from me are a bit of a godsend. I'd feel like a complete robot otherwise. And not even a good one, more like a remote control Dusty Bin from 3-2-1.