Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Ronnie_Pickering]

Originally Posted by Clumsy*

Did you get a like from Elon?

ha everyone is tweeting to him at the moment.

[magnolia]

All my life I've had to put up with men and their tempers .
My dad.
An ex boyfriend.
My current boyfriend. Although he never gets angry at me. Gets angry with himself but I still have to encounter it.

So fed up of it.
Everytime I feel upset I bottle it up
Everytime.

[biscuits]

^ It might be worth discussing it with him (obviously when calm). It could be that he hasn't realised the affect it's having on you when he displays his anger in certain ways. Taking the time to share that might make a difference e.g. he could take himself off somewhere to be angry in private so you're out of earshot.

[Messer]

How unfair life is. And how when you have children life being unfair to them is a million times more hurtful than you ever knew it could be.

[Jen.]

The "Christmas is getting earlier every year!" routine is tiresome, but... this morning I walked past a Caffe Nero and in the window it had a fully decorated and lit-up Christmas tree

I can't remember when places usually start doing that, but it looks so weird since it's literally the only one and it must have been there since at least yesterday.

[Nanuq]

Originally Posted by Messer

How unfair life is. And how when you have children life being unfair to them is a million times more hurtful than you ever knew it could be.

Nothing hurts like hurting for your children. I hope you're ok.

[Professor Willow]

Is changing my medication a good idea?

[Consolida]

^ It might be if the medication you are currently taking isn't helping you anymore.

Originally Posted by Messer

How unfair life is. And how when you have children life being unfair to them is a million times more hurtful than you ever knew it could be.

Absolutely. There's no other hurt like it

[Indigo_]

Originally Posted by Messer

How unfair life is. And how when you have children life being unfair to them is a million times more hurtful than you ever knew it could be.

Agreed. My daughter was recently in Intensive Care in Alder Hey on a ventilator. At one point I was pretty sure she wasn't going to make it. Thankfully we're back home now but she has a diagnosis that is life-long.

[Alone.]

How YouTubes new ui suits modern phones as they have small bezels and usually rounded edges but it looks bad on tv because of how tv’s have squared off borders. The rounded rectangle signage just looks off on a tv.

[humphrey]

Indigo, it is scary when you see someone in intensive care, all the tubes etc. I've been through it a couple of times with my parents, you feel so helpless.

[Mike.Kzov]

^ Yes, it's awful. Intensive care nurses have my admiration.

[Consolida]

@ Indigo - I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter has been ill and can only imagine how frightening it is to see the most precious person in your life on a ventilator. I'm really glad she is back home with you now x


I'm thinking about my afternoon having to visit the hospital for a blood test. As I've been struggling to leave the house on my own recently my husband took some time off work to go with me. On the way we are driving a long the A road (speed limit 50 but we were doing 55) and some maniac in a van comes racing up behind us and starts continuously sounding his horn. This went on for a minute or so until it was safe for us to pull out of his way. As he sped pass the *insert appropriate word* stuck up his middle finger.

I know I shouldn't let things like that effect me but I arrived at the hospital feeling hot and bothered. Also, the last time I had walked through the same hospital doors I had been pushing my mum in her wheelchair to take her for chemotherapy. Just an appointment for a routine blood test but I wish I hadn't bothered because I drove home feeling a lot sadder and fed up with the world than when I started out.

[Alone.]

How to bulid boundaries. I am following this method of healing CPTSD by a youtuber called the Crappy Childhood Fairy. I am trying to do the Daily Practice. Where I write out my resentments and fears and then meditate for 20 minutes twice a day. It seems hard to do, not hard to do but hard to find the time to do it properly with full time work.

I feel like it might actually be useful for me, but like anything that takes that amount of commitment, it comes with guilt of feeling the need to do it if someone can just walk into your room whilst doing it. Even home workout feel selfish like this. But then it is like if I want good stuff for myself I have to kind of be selfish. Not really but I need to start building boundaries, such as having a time where no one is allowed to interrupt me.

This is because, my mum, who is in a mental hostel, came whilst I was meditating and asked me to help with something. So I feel like I can't properly do what I planned to do as I would have to go work later, the daily practice. I feel like my mum doesn't listen to me but at the same time feel selfish or overly serious for taking such thing seriously but at the same time am starting to feel that if I actually want something I need to start building my boundaries. Find better places or ways to practice something daily such as the practice or even workouts. I'm thinking it might even result to having to move out. But then that seems hard.

I can help my my mum better with boundaries as that would mean I can take the stuff I feel deeply about more seriously without feeling guilt.

I feel like I am overly serious now but feel a bit irritated that this morning didn't go as I was planning it to. But I think if I am serious about this I need to make a life that accommodates such things.

[Consolida]

I'm thinking about how I can never ever say 'NO' to anyone...

In the Summer I had in my mind that I would place my mum's garden bench into my garden and how pretty it would look, but hadn't yet got round to it. Then today my mum's neighbour approached me and asked if they could have the bench 'for sentimental reasons' as they remember seeing my mum sitting on it when they looked over the garden fence. Instead of saying 'Well, actually I really want to put the bench in my garden as it has memories for me too' I heard myself saying 'Yes, of course you can have the bench' all the while feeling so cross with myself. This kind of thing has happened SO many other times with different people

[Professor Willow]

I'm thinking about why my anxiety is always worse around October and November, then it dawned on me that 10 years ago I was bracing myself to lose my nan to cancer, 6 years ago I was moving house, 5 years ago my mother was hospitalised with endometrial cancer and last year a family friend was living her last few days riddled with cancer.

It's no wonder I automatically go into stress mode at this time of year.

[Percy]

Damn, Leslie Philips has died

[choirgirl]

Gosh I'm glad your daughter is okay Indigo. That must be very hard.

Wonder if you can ask for the bench back, Consolida? Consider it the SA challenge of the week!

Well, I'm used to being gay now, (about time!) but I have a long way to go to be a well adjusted gay.

[Indigo_]

Thank you for the well wishes

[Professor Willow]

Lucozade.
I remember when I was little Lucozade was reserved for when someone in the house was poorly and even then it was only drunk sparingly.
Now it's everywhere and people drink it like water.

[Stepford]

Originally Posted by Professor Willow

Lucozade.
I remember when I was little Lucozade was reserved for when someone in the house was poorly and even then it was only drunk sparingly.
Now it's everywhere and people drink it like water.

In the 70s/80s Lucozade was lovely. My mum would get me a bottle (glass with amber wrap) when I was unwell. I tried the so-called original Lucozade a few months ago and it was disgusting and no way tastes like the original. I rarely throw things away but I had to tip it down the sink. On Tescos the reviews are mostly five stars, I wonder if they ever had the real original.

[anxiouslondoner]

Some people need a place where they can yell and scream into the void without being treated as weird for it. Just to try to get the built up anger and pain out of their system.
I'm thinking literally here, it could be a mental health facility.
Just go in and yell against all the insanity, and then put your fake normal happy face back on and walk out and nobody says anything. No judgement.

The biggest crime of society is pretending that everything is fine.

[Existential Jam]

^ From what I've seen, those places are called the post office.

[The Devil, Probably.]

Doesn't that already exist with "primal scream" therapy?
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is...herapy-5211136

You can practise it yourself if you have a secluded woodlands near by. Probably not advisable in the city centre. I've done it myself on my motorbike before.

[anxiouslondoner]

I don't know, it was 5:20 in the morning, just whatever was going through my brain. Don't pay much attention.

[SpectralOwls]

Through my whole experience of landing a new job and having some of the worst mental breakdowns I've ever experienced, I begun to think that I actually may have CPTSD.

If so, it seems to be triggered by the feeling of being "watched" and judged. When I feel like people are talking about me angrily and watching me, it freaks me out and triggers bad anxiety for me. Even still when I'm on medication I can feel it happen.

At first I thought with how my breakdowns were triggered that it may be PTSD, but I knew that it wasn't really lining up with how I know PTSD to be. I still had a nagging feeling that it could be something similar, so I looked it up and there's another form called CPTSD that I could possibly have?

Now, I haven't had especially bad traumatic experiences I can pinpoint, so I'm not really sure... But I've had a lot of history with childhood emotional abuse from my father (not physical thankfully), where he would scream at me for my odd behavior and greatly overreact about things. It generally makes me have avoidance issues too.

I've patched things up with him, but I think some emotional damage has been done to me. So now my next step with the NHS will be approaching therapy. My new GP directed me towards what to do, but I haven't taken the leap yet.

[Dougella]

^ It sounds like you may have pinpointed some behaviour from your father there (which does sound like emotional abuse) that could well have led to you developing CPTSD. It's good to be able to work out what may be going on when we're having problems I hope you can take the steps to see a therapist soon. (Also nice to see you back!)

[Percy]

Sorry to hear about your troubles Spectral Owls

[newbs16]

Hoping that it stays quiet, some people are just noisy (insert word of choice beginning with F).

Sent from my SM-A530F using Tapatalk

[Professor Willow]

How warm it is for the middle of November