How is everyone feeling? (31)

[The Devil, Probably.]

I am experiencing a real sense of being old, thoughts and thinking about all of the life that never happened, successes never had, opportunities that never materialised, chances not taken or squandered, and a overwhelming feeling of having nothing left to look forward to or to expect from life. I don't know what potential I ever had, if any, but the facts are nothing came of it or can do now. I used to have some sort of skill and smarts but now I feel like a dummy going through the motions of life. No passion, or desire to be anything or do anything. It so happens that I am around youngsters first starting their university life and how is it that something can feel so recent and yet...so, so long ago for myself. It feels like a lifetime ago, when I first stepped out into adult life, and it brings back some mixed memories....there's something profoundly sad about the awareness of youth and its fading and passing. In being old, with a lifetime of disappointment and nothing much to show for the years.

I am 40 soon, and there are practicalities. Lack of energy, enthusiasm and interest in life....nothing much moves or appeals to me any more and I am so very weary and tired of life now. What is there left for me? There is so little. I do sometimes wish I'd had some friends and was close to my family at least. I've gone through a whole lifetime with minimal connection to others and the world.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Percy

I had another covid booster jab yesterday, i did not get a bravery sticker.

Also had my first panic attack in 3 years last night.

That's good. But was the panic attack linked to having the jab at all?

[Tembo]

I’m so fed up with work, I can’t face another week of it.

The main issue is communication. I seem to be getting worse. Tongue twisted, not saying what I mean to say, things coming out all wrong, lots of fake laughing at the end of every sentence for some bizarre reason, constant brain fog. On my breaks (on the rare occasion I get one) I just sit in the corner not saying anything and staring at my phone. At work, I don’t really feel in control of myself, it’s like I get taken over my a parasite that controls my body while my brain just wonders what the hells going on.

I can’t bare this anymore. It’s the main reason I’m still in a low paid job, and not making any progress with my training and so on. Nothing wrong with a low paid job, but I’d quite like to have enough money continuing to travel during my holidays.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Dougella

That's good. But was the panic attack linked to having the jab at all?

No, dark thoughts were getting to me.

[Rocket Spud]

^^^^ Very, very relatable, TDP

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Percy

No, dark thoughts were getting to me.

[Professor Willow]

Alone absolutely alone

[Nanuq]

^

[anxiouslondoner]

Utterly fed up.
I don't want to keep doing this.

[Professor Willow]

Worthless, I doubt anyone would notice if I disappeared off the face of the earth.

[Dougella]

^ We would all notice here

[Nanuq]

^^ So sorry you're feeling like this
Has anything happened? Or is it just life kicking your arse? I'd kick it back for you if I could

[Professor Willow]

^ Thanks Nanuq
I've come to realise just how one sided my relationship is, I can't remember the last time my partner asked me how I am.
The only person on the planet who he is interested in is himself but I notice that it's actually the same with most of the relationships in my life.
I seem to attract self centred people.

[anxiouslondoner]

I need something to look forward to.

[Existential Jam]

^ Hocus Pocus 2 is now available to stream on disney+

[biscuits]

^ I'm genuinely excited for this.

[Percy]

Aw, i want you to exist neverwas.

[Consolida]

^/^^ I want you to exist too NeverWas


I'm feeling so tired, jaded, and purposeless. Existing not living. My mental health has been about as bad as it can be this year. Things can only get better, can't they?

[Consolida]

Tonight I'm feeling excited, a pleasant emotion that I haven't felt for a very very long time.

[biscuits]

^ :D that's great, Consolida what are you excited about?

[biscuits]

My arm feels heavy after the flu jab. Other than that, fairly okay, I’ve had a few weeks of general anxiety and that seems to have blown away now.

[Mike.Kzov]

^ good on ya for getting the jab.

I'm feeling worried about the social aspect of work. I was the only guy in the office on Friday. There's so much estrogen in that place I can almost feel my manhood shrinking

[biscuits]

^ thanks, sugar.

Aw how are you settling in? is everyone treating you nicely?

[Professor Willow]

My nose feels itchy inside like I have a cold coming on

[Mike.Kzov]

^ Heh, that is true.

Originally Posted by biscuits

^ thanks, sugar.

Aw how are you settling in? is everyone treating you nicely?

I'm not settling in too bad thanks. I get on with the work side of things better than the people side, as usual. Must keep trying.

[biscuits]

^ perfect opportunity to

[Alone.]

Happier than the last few days. I think it’s because I met my friend but wonder if it’s because I also spent most of today outside. I didn’t do too much. Saw my mum in the mental health hostel then saw my friends at the park.

I feel I’m quitting my current job and looking for a lifestyle change. Not a dramatic one, but one that’s happier or healthier for me mentally. Idk if I’m being overly optimistic to expect it though.

[The Devil, Probably.]

I wish I had had a girlfriend in my final years, it's been a lonely and solitary life.

[Dougella]

^ Final years? You still have time if you want to have a girlfriend.

[Professor Willow]

Stupidly anxious again because covid has returned to the household.