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  #841  
Old 1st May 2024, 12:31
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

^^ I struggle with the interaction side is work which seems so major to my wellbeing that it ultimately causes me to job hop.
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  #842  
Old 1st May 2024, 17:16
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amara 94
I think it goes the same way for many disorders as there can be less severe disorders. I’ve been looking at a few videos on sociopaths recently and the ones that can function well in society are almost normal in the way that they present theirselves that it’s suspected that they wouldn’t know and are not diagnosed and it’s likely that we have come across them without knowing.
I'm sure I've come across a few sociopaths who were, apparently, functioning ''well'' in society
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  #843  
Old 1st May 2024, 18:45
Sunrise Sunrise is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

I'm not sure if I'm frustrated with my career progression or not to be honest. I have little desire to do a management role because it seems like a massive amount of stress for not much more pay, and I really don't have the patience to spend my time dealing with other people's stupidity, which is what 99% of management seems to be.

I'm not sure if the social interaction is a problem as such, but the people that progress do seem to be mostly those who talk a good game and how competent they are at the practical side of the job seems to be largely irrelevant. Some of my bosses haven't got a clue, but they can talk a good game and I think they enjoy the power. Some of them haven't got the common sense they were born with and I wouldn't trust them to run a bath. I have no regrets about not doing what they do because I don't really want to do it. I don't have the patience at all for any of that. I don't know if that's because of my issues or if it's just my personality?

I've never had a career. I was quite poor academically and never really had any career ambitions. I don't have a "specialist subject" though which is probably where I differ from autistic people, I'm definitely not one of these little professor types. I don't have any career regrets in that way because I don't feel like I've underachieved in that respect, I never thought I'd be some bigshot.

Career snobbery is one of my pet hates. I do a low level job, but I don't see why that should make me any less of a person? My job doesn't define who I am. Are people with a bigger income better than me? I'm not lazy or stupid just because of the job I do. I hate that attitude so much.
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  #844  
Old 1st May 2024, 21:45
horseblanket horseblanket is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunrise
I'm not sure if I'm frustrated with my career progression or not to be honest. I have little desire to do a management role because it seems like a massive amount of stress for not much more pay, and I really don't have the patience to spend my time dealing with other people's stupidity, which is what 99% of management seems to be.

I'm not sure if the social interaction is a problem as such, but the people that progress do seem to be mostly those who talk a good game and how competent they are at the practical side of the job seems to be largely irrelevant. Some of my bosses haven't got a clue, but they can talk a good game and I think they enjoy the power. Some of them haven't got the common sense they were born with and I wouldn't trust them to run a bath. I have no regrets about not doing what they do because I don't really want to do it. I don't have the patience at all for any of that. I don't know if that's because of my issues or if it's just my personality?

I've never had a career. I was quite poor academically and never really had any career ambitions. I don't have a "specialist subject" though which is probably where I differ from autistic people, I'm definitely not one of these little professor types. I don't have any career regrets in that way because I don't feel like I've underachieved in that respect, I never thought I'd be some bigshot.

Career snobbery is one of my pet hates. I do a low level job, but I don't see why that should make me any less of a person? My job doesn't define who I am. Are people with a bigger income better than me? I'm not lazy or stupid just because of the job I do. I hate that attitude so much.
Exactly, it's like a house: if you take the roof away everyone will get wet but not much else would happen (the top of the company) but if you take away the bricks at the bottom of the house (the lowest paid workers) the whole house falls down
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  #845  
Old 1st May 2024, 22:47
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merry
I’m doing an MA now and got an ‘outstanding distinction’ in my first piece of academic work, but I know that the MA won’t lead to any real, paid opportunities
I kind of imagined that an MA would be seen as a definite plus if there was a job vacancy available that was related to that particular field?

If it was a degree in fine arts,(for example) would that not be seen as a distinct advantage if there was a job available in an art gallery or in a design studio or something along those lines?

I'd love a job working in an art gallery or something along those lines, but have no qualifications in that field.
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  #846  
Old 2nd May 2024, 08:50
Merry Merry is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Yes, any qualification can be seen as a plus I imagine? But most people taking the same qualifications in life are neurotypical and the world is set up in a way that favours neurotypical people.
So you might do well in a qualification but then need to go through an interview process to get a job, which is all based around interpersonal skills.
Or (as mine is) if it’s creative and based on finding freelance work in industry, then the work is a minimal part of the process, the important things are building relationships with people, networking, getting a social media presence, collaborating. So I wasn’t saying that the MA isn’t useful in general, rather that personally it won’t lead to paid work because I don’t have the networking skills due to being autistic. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.
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  #847  
Old 2nd May 2024, 18:26
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

A big reason work is hard for autistic people

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  #848  
Old 2nd May 2024, 18:39
Sunrise Sunrise is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

So basically, workplaces are full of ultra competitive, backstabbing twats who are desperate to get one over you if you're not part of their clique? And the best way to deal with it is to become one of them?

The main message I've taken from that video is that people are awful.
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  #849  
Old 2nd May 2024, 19:35
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunrise
So basically, workplaces are full of ultra competitive, backstabbing twats who are desperate to get one over you if you're not part of their clique? And the best way to deal with it is to become one of them?

The main message I've taken from that video is that people are awful.

Agreed
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  #850  
Old 3rd May 2024, 00:30
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

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Originally Posted by Bluebear
Agreed
I saw a title to a recent thread you made about being a bad person. I think we use office politics, or even something similar outside of the workplace, to avoid thoughts like this going by what she said. When we somehow gain some status or are playing the game we learn goes to not allow gossip and other people’s game sabotage our success.

I’ve seen working hard sometimes colleagues do try to sabotage success by trying to make you seem like a rude person, even evil person by passive aggression tactics. Can make you think you aren’t trying hard by lack of complimenting or giving you much more work out even much less of the work you are doing well in.
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  #851  
Old 3rd May 2024, 08:51
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

It seems like office politics is a necessary evil if you don’t work for yourself.
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  #852  
Old 12th May 2024, 12:25
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

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  #853  
Old 15th May 2024, 19:26
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Do any of you have situational or selective mutism? If so, how do you feel with it?
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  #854  
Old 15th May 2024, 20:04
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

^ yes. I had selective mutism throughout my teens. Back then it made me feel like a freak because I had very little understanding about it. It really affected me and made life very challenging and lead to avoidance and then social anxiety. I was so embarrassed about it and didn't want anyone to know.

Then one day I thought to myself it's time to learn more about it and how to manage it. So I did lots of things to constantly put me in tricky situations and had counselling. It was hell but also completely worth it!


These days it tends to be situational e.g. I can be chatty with someone and then if we're in a different situation I'll not be able to speak to them freely. It's the exact same person, but different situation. It makes me want to be avoidant but I try to fight that as much as I can.

It's just a part of who I am now and I'm not too hard on myself about it because it's not something I can control when it comes on. I find ways to live with it and try not to be too avoidant. I'm quite open about it as well, which helps. No one seems to mind.
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  #855  
Old 15th May 2024, 22:57
Merry Merry is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Yes, I still do.
In many situations I am completely non verbal.
It sucks, but I can’t help it.
In the past I have been badly bullied because people think you are choosing not to speak, therefore snubbing them.
I try to tell people I am autistic now if I think I will be very anxious, for example if I have to go to hospital, it doesn’t stop me becoming non verbal but people seem less offended by it.
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  #856  
Old 16th May 2024, 08:51
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

^Yes, idk if it's selective mutism or situational mutism but it doesn't make for positive interaction. In fact sometimes it makes me feel like others will see me as less than human as some people don't even bother to greet me at the workplace if I work around them or help them, it's like I am invisible. Or in public it's like they wouldn't want to be seen with me. Other people are extra nice to the point I feel like maybe they are unintentionally infantilising me. I remember at a hotel I worked at with the events department there were a lot of agency workers during some events. One event was the staff party. I was washing glasses. A temp worker gave me the silent treatment after initially being more friendly but since I was use to such behaviour I acted like it didn't affect me. Later she repeatedly was nice but said repeatedly how I was so innocent and should be careful.

I think the annoying thing is in my mind, it's as if a lot of people, don't see me for me, they see my anxiety, social awkwardness and then judge me by that, it's almost like they might not think I can have thoughts and feelings like them.

But I think I am also fearful or hesitant to open up about autism I don't know if others would understand or think it's an excuse. Currently I work as a dishwasher in a culinary school and the negative social experience so far has reinforced in me that I probably don't want to go back to uni as I don't seem to fit in such environment.
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  #857  
Old 16th May 2024, 08:57
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Is it only me. I think I actually find a lot of online autistic based content can make me feel down. But I think it's because although the autistic content speaks of the truth it's usually from a negative perspective, I probably do the same.

Recently I am following a self help youtuber, Therapy in a Nutshell, and find her videos actually somewhat soothing because I haven't seen her describing any of the anxiety situations sufferers may face from a negative view. But then I guess she removes anxiety from social contexts and just sees anxiety as something in itself.

Maybe I should consume less autistic based content. It's not bad and is the truth but when it's constant complaining about social issues it makes me really frustrated cause I am facing the same thing and usually no solution is offered.
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  #858  
Old 16th May 2024, 13:02
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: The ASD thread (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

The reason I’m not sure is because in an environment like a classroom or public transport it feels like I can speak if I really try but it also feels scary to speak. And then I can probably speak with people I feel safe with which isn’t many people. It’s weird. It’s like these environments naturally make me silent, has been this way since I was a kid, wasn’t as severe but was triggered in church class and places where I didn’t know others. However it also feels like an option. In the past when I did try to talk it isn’t always pleasant.
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