Preparing for Counselling?

[WeiJingsheng]

...

[mhealer3]

how nice it must be to look 4ward to the therapy process.

i doubt i'd be any good @ it because i'd probably
cry endlessly & the therapist would get tired of me quickly.

it's 2 late now for me to go that route anyway.

but i do use the recommended things i read about
in order to improve (some) on my own.

and as always, i'm gratful for my SA friends

[mhealer3]

duplicate, sorry

[Progress]

I never prepared for my first session, they should ask plenty of questions and guide you. My first one was really about them telling me what was going to happen and some basic things about me. If there's stuff you don't want to say you don't have to. Or if something is important you could write it down.

One thing which almost certainly won't happen on the first, but might later, is silence. I found this really disconcerting at first, but it can teach you the usefulness of silence - you can use it as thinking time.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

I can't vouch for any other counselling organisations but where I work the first session is one where we do the contracting rather than ploughing straight in. So what would be discussed is the amount of sessions on offer, how long they are, the therapeutic approach we use. Your expectations of counselling would be discussed also, so unrealistic expectations were addressed straight away. Boundaries and the limits to confidentiality would be discussed. You would also give an outline of your presenting issues. So session one would be getting that stuff out of the way, and also serve as a gentle 'getting to know each other' session.

Sadly, in the counselling I had in the past there was no such contracting session, so I had no idea what to expect. Had no idea of the approach used and didn't get that gentle intro to our sessions. Having said that, it was very productive overall, so no worries there.

I never prepared for seeing a counsellor. My issues are my issues, so I can talk about them easily. Not everyone is the same though, and some like to bring a list or a brief overview of their issues in order to 'get them out there.' I've had a few clients who have brought a long list of issues in, and we've worked through them starting with the one the client wants to go with first. Issues are often linked anyway, so as you start working on one you start working chipping away at the core issues anyway.

If you feel you can, Vince, do go. I've seen terrified clients really ease up in such a short time and open up about how they feel. If nothing else it's 50 minutes or so per week where you can just be you and say how you feel without worry of being judged. In itself, that can be helpful.

I think it best to simply go along with an open mind and see how it goes. If you feel you might close down, write relevant stuff down beforehand just in case. You may never need it, but at least you know it's there if you do. Other than that, I don't think any more preparation is really needed.

Anyway, I hope it goes well for you, Vince.

[KarateGirl]

I won't be saying anything better than Benfica's said it, but personally the most important thing for the first session would always be a list of my issues. The counsellor always asks for a general overview of my problems and I'm hopeless at talking about that beyond a few words such as "social anxiety and depression". So I'd write a summary of the main ways in which my problems affect me, just to show directly to the therapist.

Another question I always get asked is what I hope to achieve through the counselling. I know some people have unrealistic expectations but all I can ever say to this is that I want to see some improvement, however small. They're never satisfied with that answer for some reason though it's the truth!

I do find talking to the therapist very very difficult so without preparation, for me it probably wouldn't be worth going as the session would just be questions and awkward silences with the odd yes or no. Yeah I really have had plenty of those pointless sessions, but at the end when she asked had it been useful I just nodded anyway as I was still too embarrassed to admit that it was useless!

[Ceega]

I recently had my first one a few weeks back.

I had waited around four months for it - so by the time it came I'd read almost everything I could get a hold of in regards to CBT as well as some stuff on ACT (the latter of which has helped my anxiety to levels I never thought were possible). I wasn't too nervous about going to be perfectly honest, if anything I was relieved to have somebody to talk to. When I finally got there, she was absolutely lovely and made me feel extremely comfortable. I did pre-plan a fair few things to communicate, in case I found myself unable to talk, but it got to the point were I found myself essentially performing an uninterrupted soliloquy.

However, after just one session I was told that any further appointments were unnecessary and that I am to be referred to 'high-intensity CBT'. So another waiting list awaits.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by VinceMasuka

That's how I'm trying to see it. Keep thinking though, what if I don't like my therapist? I can't think of anything worse than being patronised and at the same time, I couldn't open up to someone who seems 'cold'. I'll be constantly trying to read them...

Yeah, I'm definately going to go. I'm sure it will be a relief afterwards...
Thanks.

If you don't get on with your therapist you should be able to ask for another one. I always make a real point at the beginning of telling a client to be honest and tell me if they don't feel they can get on with me. Because then, I can arrange for another counsellor to take over the sessions. It's not happened to me yet, but I'm sure it will at some point.

Talking about reading the counsellor. Most of us absolutely hate counselling other counsellors. You feel like you are being assessed and evaluated all the time.

Anyway, I hope it goes well next week.

[Ceega]

Originally Posted by VinceMasuka

How come? Surely it would help as an intermediary.
Were you quite assertive that you were set on CBT?

I did originally say I wanted CBT when I first talked to my GP but in my first councillor session - around four months afterwards - I spent a great deal of my time talking about how I'd adopted the ACT model to improve my life rather than CBT.

This particular organisation follow the CBT model rather meticulously and the councillor sessions are intended to teach you about the model as well as the problems you may have. I've read all I can on the subject and I pretty much know exactly what is wrong with me. I spent around an hour practically analyzing myself and talking about how self-help has done an awful lot in terms of social anxiety but has done nothing in terms allowing me to accept my body image as nothing but visually repugnant. She then suggested that there isn't much else that she could do but refer me to 'high-intensity' CBT for the BDD problems, which I agree with wholeheartedly.

Best of luck in your sessions. I hope you find what you're looking for.