It's going to be a long night

[Vastaux]

w00t, my very own thread .

I cant get to sleep, in the morning at 8am i am doing volunteer work at a local animal shelter, i have only been there once a year and a half ago to look at dogs for adoption... i just decided stupidly 2 weeks ago it would be something i would be happy doing (I love animals) and it would get me out of the house other than for paid work and meet new people.

Yeaaa great idea... Not!

I decided i'd throw myself headfirst into it, that way i couldnt back out and just send e-mails to say i'd be willing to come etc, havent talked on the phone as i was too nervous to ring up and havent been down to talk to anyone as the day specified was a day i normally work, not that i think i would of anyway.

The thing is i know it isnt going to be as bad as i am imagining, i know people arent going to think about me the stuff i think they are... but i cant stop the stuff from going through my head and every thought i subdue ignite another one that makes me worry.

As always when i have a "big event" the next day, where the need to face my shyness and social fears is warrented, here i am, sitting her not being able to sleep due to thoughts rushing around my head and worrying, then it gets later and later and then i start worrying about how late its getting and then i've stayed up all night!

I know i'll go, i'll probably feel sick and sit in the car outside for about 30 mins before walking in, i wouldnt want to let anyone down, especially the animals, that isnt my style... but god i wish i hadnt of said yes now

*Sigh* not really sure of what advice people can give, i suppose i just wanted to share my thoughts and worrys with you guys as its nice to tell people who understand as if i said this to anyone else... if i had anyone else i'm sure i'd just be told i'm being silly.

[Twoflower]

Good luck with it :D I'd love to do volunteering with animals..animals are good, and they're so therapeutic too!
I hope it goes well Don't wish you hadn't said yes- you know it'll feel good once you've done it!

[mhealer3]

i agree that you'll enjoy yourself there.

good for you for volunteering.

and no matter what, keep trying little things here & there.
it helps me a lot.

enjoy

[Vastaux]

Originally Posted by nineofswords

good luck, you are a better man than me! in those situations I have bottled it and not turned up.

I hope it goes well for you.

ooh i dunno about that, havent turned up yet Thanks everyone for you support , alas, here i am, 3 1/2 hours to go still thinking and worrying, yay for 24 hr tescos so i have been to get a plenty supply of energy drinks, i laid in bed a while and then decided the rik of me over-sleeping due to not getting enough sleep was too high so i'm going all night, not uncommon tbh.

Occasions such as these i have been known to do 36 hour stints where i have been unable to get to sleep the night before, luckily not a too regular occurance but still annoying. didnt get up that early yesterday so isnt too bad.

we'll see, as always with this problem, i'm sure my fears are not as bad as the reality but who knows...

i shall report when the day is done

[Misanthrope]

Hi I havnt even posted welcome area yet but having worked with animal and volunteered at animal shelters maybe something i say will be of use. People that work with animal are usualy really nice and easy to get along with(they care about animals so they should be) I dont think ive ever met anyone i would call an asshole when working with animals.
just dont be afraid to get your hands dirty, do what they say exactly how they tell you to and offer to do as many things as possible to take a few things of their plate(its often very busy at animal shelters with alot to do so a helpful competent volunteer makes all the difference).
I hope you do go as working with animals is very satisfying as i said the people are usualy nice and you get to work with lots of cute animals.
Good luck

[Vastaux]

Hello Misanthrope, thank you for the great advice and welcome to the forum

yea i hoped that would be the case, that is part of the reason why i chose to do this as i hoped that people working with animals would be nice and it would be atleast 1 thing in common with them.

Luckily it isnt a huge place so it opens at 12 to the public, when i'll be due to finish so wont have to cope with the public around me or anything just other volunteers and paid staff, so atleast thats a bonus.

I'm sort of looking forward to it now, if anything to subdue the anticipatory anxiety which i have, as once i'm there atleast i cant worry about going anymore and just get stuck into whatever they want me to do.

If all goes well i'm hoping to make it a weekly thing, to get me out of the house on my days off, bit of excersise, i guess meeting new volunteers now and again, with any luck it will be the break i need into progressing in the everlong fight againt sa... I'll be going to an SAUK meet before i know it haha!

[Aelwyn]

Just wanted to say I admire you very much for doing this, I know how difficult it can be, and I think you have a lot of courage. Hope all goes well.

[Vastaux]

Just thought i'd update on how it went, i did manage to go, after driving past it 3 times and waiting untill the last minute i went in.

Started off with just me standing there like a dope, too nervous to walk about to try and find anyone, eventually someone else came, it felt awkward just standing there with him so i plucked up the courage to ask him his name and shake his hand, which felt good as i dont generally greet people i dont know unless they do it first, certainly dont ask name and introduce myself etc, but i figured i might aswell try and make the most of the attempt.

Manager guy came out and told me i was working in the kennels, he seemed nice enough, walked me over to the kennels and then i saw the reason why i wanted to help the animals, he introduced me to their resident dog, which was saved from a dog-fighting ring and had been in kennels the last 12 years, a very old dog, who was in this sort of caravan near the kennels, such a lovely dog but had to be seperated from any other animal, not that he could really walk now but apparently if he did ever come into contact with another dog he would kill it no questions asked and then i saw a plaque on a bench saying something along the lines of "in loving memory of skye gsd, we all loved you, forever denied a home of his own, died in kennels 9.12.11, which coincidentally was the day my JRT died so it made me sad and sort of spurred me on to make the most of the experience.

Anyway, i was working with 3 girls, which was quite hard as i find it hard speaking to them, but luckily most of the day it was go.go.go so not much time for chatter but whenever they did speak to me, i tried to speak with confidence, quite a few times i thought to myself "i should of said something there" or "that sounded stupid" but i cracked on and the time flew by. I did manage to cope with a bit of "small talk" told one girl what my job was etc, that was about it lol but atleast i managed something hehe.

To be fair, it wasnt quite the social experience i had envisioned, as i really didnt talk to much to anyone as for the most part it was non-stop go, but i figure the more i go, the more comfortable i'll be just making small-talk with strangers as i'll probably be working with different and new people each week, so although i doubt i'll make friends it might help me in over-coming some of the fear associated with talking to new people.

Luckily i must of came across ok as when i asked about returning she said that she'd be more than happy to have me back as usually first time people are slow etc but i worked really hard and was a great help, so atleast i came across well anyway, which has boosted my confidence and i came out of their feeling really happy i'd done it.

I have said i'd like to return next week, though already i am worrying about it again, who ill meet, will they be as nice... the usual story. But atleast it wont be completely new to me next time and each time will become easier... I hope. Atleast it gets me out of the house, even if only for a few hours!

Thanks for all your support guys, you made last nights worrying alot easier, it helped alot

[Misanthrope]

glad to know things went well
You will find that its mostly women that work with animals there are men but most of the majority are women. Yeah if you keep going you will definately get better at smalltalk as you work like i did and like i said as long as your a good worker they are more than happy to have you back as most volunteers are useless so they are really grateful to have competent volunteers and it seems your most definitely competent.
I am glad things went well and hope you keep going, it will get better hopefuly as you get to know everyone there.