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  #1201  
Old 20th April 2021, 00:20
GirlAfraid GirlAfraid is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Apologies in advance for whining, but I've been thinking about ending it a lot lately, mostly triggered by family visits, I think. I'm reminded that my life and self can never be what I want them to be, or feel they should be. I will never be content for any duration because my past has been so distressing and my brain so messed up that I will never escape from it, or feel peace. In fact, I feel it will grow worse over time (as it has already). I would throw in the towel immediately if I didn't still have one person I love, who would be devastated. I feel a lot of resentment that I'm stuck here, miserable, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it unless I throw all my morals in the toilet. Whatever life is supposed to be, whatever purpose can be found in this existence, I'm missing it entirely and just existing. I feel angry about it, though I recognise that it's pointless. That's all folks. Obligatory closing apology.
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  #1202  
Old 20th April 2021, 03:34
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ Please don't apologise. You aren't whining at all, just using this thread for what it's here for

I'm so sorry that you've been having a lot of thoughts about not wanting to be here anymore, but it's good that you recognise that you have someone that you love and who would be devastated if they lost you. That's a huge reason to continue living isn't it although I can totally understand why that may cause you to feel resentful at times.
How much easier it might be if we had no one who would miss us when we are gone, accept, even if we don't realise it, there are always people whose lives we have touched - even on a social anxiety forum.

I wish I could think of something helpful to say, GirlAfraid.

Please continue to post if it helps you and don't ever feel that you need to apologise for sharing your feelings here. Take care x
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  #1203  
Old 21st April 2021, 23:56
Counterpoint Counterpoint is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

GirlAfaid and Pink Lady
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  #1204  
Old 22nd April 2021, 16:16
Pink*Lady Pink*Lady is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Thank you Consolida and Counterpoint.
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  #1205  
Old 22nd April 2021, 23:41
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^Nonsense you're a lovely human being who deserves happiness, you certainly should'nt have been drowned at birth.
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  #1206  
Old 23rd April 2021, 02:02
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ Thank you Percy, your kind words mean a lot
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  #1207  
Old 23rd April 2021, 08:38
No Longer Human No Longer Human is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Definitely agree. Hope you feel better soon.
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  #1208  
Old 23rd April 2021, 18:08
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ Your'e a kind soul NLH, thank you
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  #1209  
Old 8th May 2021, 18:26
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I’m slowly getting closer. I’m so irritating to be around I’m driving everyone mad.
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  #1210  
Old 8th May 2021, 18:34
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Aw, no you're not mellie.
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  #1211  
Old 8th May 2021, 18:36
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

You don’t see me everyday
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  #1212  
Old 8th May 2021, 19:42
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I see enough of you to know it isn't true.
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  #1213  
Old 8th May 2021, 20:56
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Rarely go on here anymore.
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  #1214  
Old 8th May 2021, 22:08
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ I'd noticed that you hadn't been around for some time but hoped it might be because things were going better for you. I'm sad to hear that this isn't the case

Please take care of yourself Mellie and remember that we are here if you need to chat x
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  #1215  
Old 8th May 2021, 22:16
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Thanks consolida. Sorry to disappoint but still feel the same, lost hope. I hope you are well consolida and Percy xx
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  #1216  
Old 8th May 2021, 22:34
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I really wish my parents aborted me. Argh I feel such a failure in life and disappoint them everyday by saying how shit I feel constantly
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  #1217  
Old 8th May 2021, 23:32
No Longer Human No Longer Human is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Sorry to hear that you're struggling, Mellie. I don't think your parents will think that, but I understand why you will feel that. Is anything troubling you in particular tonight?
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  #1218  
Old Yesterday, 01:13
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Not in a good place
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  #1219  
Old Yesterday, 04:06
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ I hope you start to feel a bit better soon.
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  #1220  
Old Yesterday, 06:31
biscuits biscuits is online now
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^^ aw Consolida, you have a lot to try to cope with . is there someone professional that you can talk to about your feelings and experiences at the moment. I really hope those feeling start to lessen

@Mellie so sorry that you’re feeling that way. Mental health can hold us back and create barriers, making it temporarily challenging to achieve what we would like to - it’s really important to recognise that with patience and kindness towards yourself. I hope you can work through these feelings and reach out for some support
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  #1221  
Old Yesterday, 17:48
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^/^^ Thank you Newbs and Biscuits, you're both very kind to me xx

Living is such a constant battle. Is it meant to always be that way?
Either my mental health is very poor or my physical health is poor and now it seems to always be both. If I was an animal I would have been euthanised long ago because that's the kind thing to do when an animal is suffering and there's no hope of improvement.
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  #1222  
Old Yesterday, 18:12
biscuits biscuits is online now
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ Adult life does seem to be a constant stream of unfortunate/wtf now events. I forever feel like I'm having to adapt my coping strategies and it puts me in right spin. I often have mini breakdowns and overwhelming feelings like I just can't cope. (Hope that helps to make you feel less alone with these feelings.)

Them doctors need to pull their fingers out and sort your physical needs. And hopefully you can find someone to talk to, I really think that will help you because you have a lot going on - it must be challenging to find ways to process and deal with it on your own. (I hope it's okay to say this and also sorry to be bossy.)

You're the sweetest person and I hope you get to see a glimpse of your worth
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  #1223  
Old Today, 00:51
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ I'm sorry that you are having your struggles too sweet Biscuits and, yes, hearing how you are coping does help me to feel less alone Thank you xx
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  #1224  
Old Today, 11:37
Counterpoint Counterpoint is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Hope you are both doing ok Biscuits and Consolida. I was reading about the benefits of taking a walk when you feel down. It doesn't have to be long, 10 to 20 minutes even. Simple but highly effective, and I don't mean to be facile about the very real struggles we all have to deal with in our lives, but it's something I always try to work into my routine, and it never fails to lift my spirits. And spring is here.
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