Do you work on your presentation/first impression?

[The Golden Sprout]

99% of the time I wear sneakers (somewhat worn-out - because they're the comfiest pair I've got), jeans and basic t-shirts. My hair's a mess on its own and I don't do much to fix that, and I wear thick glasses and only some foundation for makeup. No jewelry, no perfume. At the very least, I don't stink.

Considering how people judge you by appearance and how first impressions are difficult to overcome, I concluded that most people probably don't take me very seriously as a 33-year-old woman. Perhaps people would treat me somewhat better if I dressed better?

Now, the way I dress does absolutely fit my personality, and I'm not sure I want to be taken very seriously by people who get to know me well. However, I have nothing to lose in having strangers judge me as more neat, conscientious, dedicated, serious etc. (or whatever it is that people think when they see someone dressed well compared to someone dressed like me now).

Do you have any opinions on this? Do you have a style, or do you want to work on it?

[Dougella]

No, my appearance is very similar to yours by the sound of it. But I don't think that should make anyone have a negative first impression of someone.

[Sunrise]

I'm nearly 40 yet still dress like a student from around 2005.

I realise I must look desperately uncool and probably quite sad and pathetic, like I'm trying to cling on to my long forgotten youth, but I suppose I basically am if I'm being honest. I have no desire to change though and I think I'll still be dressing like this when I'm 90. I definitely feel like it fits my personality.

I have virtually no interest in impressing anyone these days. I used to be very self-conscience about that sort of thing but I've taken it to the complete opposite extreme now.

The healthiest thing to aim for is probably finding a balance between not being too self-conscious about it whilst still making enough effort to make a good impression.

[biscuits]

I’m interested in fashion. Make up stresses me out, so I go with a simple tinted moisturiser and sometimes mascara. I choose my clothes the night before and get my underwear out ready as well. Then I can get dressed quickly.

I’m not sure if I make a good first impression. I’d be too nervous and stuck in my own thoughts and worries to ever even notice haha.

How do you know if you’ve made a good first impression? Random strangers chat to me regularly, so I guess I look approachable. Or maybe they want to be murdered and I look like a serial killer.

[The Golden Sprout]

@biscuits Perhaps you've got "an approachable face". I miss having a stranger talk to me, it happens so rarely nowadays. How would you describe your style?

On how I would know if I left a good impression - a very good question. I'm not really sure. One thing comes to mind: I feel like people sometimes don't really listen to me when I talk. Of course, for that I should primarily work on my storytelling and speak slower and more confidently, but perhaps being dressed a bit more seriously would help with people seeing me differently and at least giving me the benefit of the doubt.

@Sunrise What's that 2005 student style? I'm interested because I was a student not long after, and I also wore pretty much the same stuff I do now, if a bit more colorful (I still have lots of clothes from that period, as well).

@Dougella A fellow jeans & sneakers wearer! I'm not saying I think the casualness necessarily leaves a negative impression, but that it immediately gives me off as a bit of a slack, negligent person (which I am when it comes to clothing, but not in other ways).

@Dean Winchester I'm interested in the longer form of that answer if you're willing to share. What do you consider to be your top issue?

[BFG_]

No point I'm 6 foot 6, 18 stone with a beard I'm hardly going to change that first impression. I have zero interest in clothes or fashion as most of my clothes inevitably end up with oil or dirt on them from something mechanical or similar. I find it amusing that people apparently have washing that they separate into different colours.

[Dougella]

^ Do you struggle to find clothes that are long enough?

[biscuits]

@The Golden Sprout [I love your username, btw ]

In the autumn, it's usually shortish dresses or skirts with thick tights or leggings. I have different types of cardigans and jackets/coats. Then I'll wear some nice shoes, black flatform trainers, or boots. Maybe a scarf. I get really cold! Sometimes I wear busy patterns/prints and sometimes dark colours sometimes with a pop or colour. I'm not sure if that's a style haha

Whilst we all make a quick judgement on a person's appearance because it's the first we see - a person's nature and how that shines through is what counts most during a first impression. People like to feel warm and like the person they're talking to is safe to be around - as in they can begin to speak fairly freely with them. I like being in this person's company in this moment and would like to be in their company again. That all trumps what they're wearing. As long as you feel comfortable and like what you're wearing then it's all good. I've tried to wear something different to usual and felt really awkward and like I'd wish I'd worn my usual clothes!

When I read your posts I think, "I like this person!" So I hope you can consider that you have made a good first impression :D

[BFG_]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^ Do you struggle to find clothes that are long enough?

Most things are relatively easy to find but shoes are a pain. If I find shoes i like I'll tend to buy every pair and store them in a cupboard.

[limey123]

Originally Posted by The Golden Sprout

99% of the time I wear sneakers

Are you American?

People do judge on clothes. I've found when I wear a suit I seem to naturally get more respect from people. Women seem to like it, too.

[Bluebear]

I usually don't work much on this. I find that the people who are the most judgmental are people I wouldn't want to know anyway. Sometimes I will dress in a way that might be judged as ''smart'' but usually I dress how I want to.

[Sunrise]

Originally Posted by The Golden Sprout

@Sunrise What's that 2005 student style? I'm interested because I was a student not long after, and I also wore pretty much the same stuff I do now, if a bit more colorful (I still have lots of clothes from that period, as well).

I think it's best described as dressing like I'm in a rubbish mid-noughties indie-pop group. It was fashionable for the time but is probably very uncool now.

I'm basically the millennial equivalent of old men who still wear double denim with Iron Maiden t-shirts.

[limey123]

^ Good band, Iron Maiden

[Hollie]

I have quite a distinct alt style (a bit egirl, a bit goth, a bit dark academia?) and I put a lot of effort into it with hair, makeup, doing my nails, being experimental/unconventional with clothes etc. I'll often try and choose my clothes based on the colour of my hair so that they go together and play with colours in other ways (I was up until the wee hours last night dyeing my hair red to match a specific lipstick I wanted to wear to a Christening today).
Sometimes I get compliments but I'd probably tone it down if I was trying to make a good impression, as I'm sure it's not everyone's taste but it makes me happy and I feel nice doing it.
It's cool reading about everyone's different personal style and thoughts on here

[The Golden Sprout]

Originally Posted by biscuits

@The Golden Sprout [I love your username, btw ]

In the autumn, it's usually shortish dresses or skirts with thick tights or leggings. I have different types of cardigans and jackets/coats. Then I'll wear some nice shoes, black flatform trainers, or boots. Maybe a scarf. I get really cold! Sometimes I wear busy patterns/prints and sometimes dark colours sometimes with a pop or colour. I'm not sure if that's a style haha

Whilst we all make a quick judgement on a person's appearance because it's the first we see - a person's nature and how that shines through is what counts most during a first impression. People like to feel warm and like the person they're talking to is safe to be around - as in they can begin to speak fairly freely with them. I like being in this person's company in this moment and would like to be in their company again. That all trumps what they're wearing. As long as you feel comfortable and like what you're wearing then it's all good. I've tried to wear something different to usual and felt really awkward and like I'd wish I'd worn my usual clothes!

When I read your posts I think, "I like this person!" So I hope you can consider that you have made a good first impression :D

Thank you, and I love biscuits!
That sounds like a cute, comfy but feminine style, I think I know exactly what you mean and I love it

I do agree people very often override the initial impression with the positive feelings that are the outcome of someone being warm and open with them. I love people like that (don't we all?). However, I'm a pretty reserved person so I don't have that going for me: even though I try to put people at ease and laugh or joke often, I think it's still quite obvious I'm socially constipated

Originally Posted by limey123

Are you American?

People do judge on clothes. I've found when I wear a suit I seem to naturally get more respect from people. Women seem to like it, too.

I'm not Murican, but not British either, English is not my mother tongue. Should I have said trainers? But then, I don't train... Then again, neither do I sneak around...

Originally Posted by Bluebear

I usually don't work much on this. I find that the people who are the most judgmental are people I wouldn't want to know anyway. Sometimes I will dress in a way that might be judged as ''smart'' but usually I dress how I want to.

Quite true - I don't want to know those people either. I'm thinking more of leaving a better impression on strangers with whom I may rub shoulders in everyday life. Not sure if all the fuss is worth it, though, so I'm looking for some thoughts.

Originally Posted by Sunrise

I think it's best described as dressing like I'm in a rubbish mid-noughties indie-pop group. It was fashionable for the time but is probably very uncool now.

I'm basically the millennial equivalent of old men who still wear double denim with Iron Maiden t-shirts.

Something like this? It looks like so much fun, and it's cozy!

[The Golden Sprout]

Originally Posted by Dean Winchester

Well, getting support for anything is my top issue right now. There's a lot of help I need atm and no idea where to get it. But that's in ref to life in general, stuff to do with my outward appearance is like item 12 on the list of immediate priorities tbh.

I wish you good luck in getting all the help you need! Prioritize and be insistent on getting all that you need and have a right to!

Originally Posted by Hollie

I have quite a distinct alt style (a bit egirl, a bit goth, a bit dark academia?) and I put a lot of effort into it with hair, makeup, doing my nails, being experimental/unconventional with clothes etc. I'll often try and choose my clothes based on the colour of my hair so that they go together and play with colours in other ways (I was up until the wee hours last night dyeing my hair red to match a specific lipstick I wanted to wear to a Christening today).
Sometimes I get compliments but I'd probably tone it down if I was trying to make a good impression, as I'm sure it's not everyone's taste but it makes me happy and I feel nice doing it.
It's cool reading about everyone's different personal style and thoughts on here

I like it when people have fun with their appearance. Your blue hair is/was lovely!

[Hollie]

^ aw thank you golden sprout I've had nearly every colour now but the blue was one of my favourites to have (the first unnatural colour I ever tried and have been hooked since) every now and then I hear its siren song, trying to tempt me back...

[Hollie]

^ that sounds very stressful Nanuq, very strange as you said to have pride in lacking personal care and in being dirty (and making others do the same). For what it's worth I'm sure you're lovely

[cymruambyth26]

The only thing I am big on is hygiene. I never leave the house without having a shower and conducting my other personal routines to get ready (spray deoderant, brush hair, brush my teeth).

I hate being outside unkempt. It initially frustrated my family for years as they'd always have to wait for me to complete my routines before we would go out. Now they are used to it.

I have to plan everything if I am against the clock. All the timings have to be accurate. It can be tiring all that kind of planning but it's how I cope and function. I'm not very good at just picking things up and leaving the house quickly unless I've already done my routines that day.

[limey123]

^ I also loathe being unwashed. Shower every morning, no exceptions.

[Dougella]

^ Same.

[SFC01]

Depends, if its important like an interview or a date, or some formal event, then I'll have first impression in mind. Otherwise, I tend not to give a **** whether people like me or not, although I always try to be respectful as possible.

I'm a bit of a mug with spending money on designer gear, money that could be better spent elsewhere, been like this since schooldays really, so i do like to look as good as I possibly can when I'm out and about.

For work, now that I dont work in an office and dont have to do meetings, presentations etc, I'll wear any old shit.