How is everyone feeling? (31)

[biscuits]

@ No Longer Human - thank you for sharing that you relate to what I said, sorry that you experience a similar feeling. It feels very strange! Nope, I'm not on anything at all (I don't like to take medication - for basement level reasons).

That's an awful feeling when you are suddenly struck by everything all at once like that ^ NLH. I just woke up in a cold sweat with my life worries. All I can say is, you're writing yourself off there - past and present isn't the future. But I don't wish to make you feel like you have to defend what you've said about how you feel. I just hope something nice happens for you to give you a lil hope

@Consolida - thank you - yes, you're right. I can feel a build up of stuff inside me. Now I'm getting Instagram adds about people putting patches on their feet to suck out all the toxins. (Kind of want to try it.)

I hope you get some answers about your legs and find some relief from the pain. It might be worth writing a polite letter of complaint to the GP about how dismissive they are with the mention of reporting it. They might get their bums in gear. They should make a referral.

@GirlAfraid - aw that's good that your new friends are having a hopeful and positive change in how you feel

[Consolida]

^ Hmm, if you decide to try it, let me know if the sucking toxins out of your feet helps in any way? Call me cynical Biscuits, but unless there's solid evidence the jury's still out for me on that one


@ No Longer Human Such an evocative and moving post


@ GirlAfraid It's great to hear that you've met some people that have cheered you up. Yes, you're right about not raising your expectations too high but we all do it, and there's nothing wrong in hoping that the people that you meet will bring something positive to your life

Oh, I've been taking Ibuprofen painkillers for the leg pain but I'm not sure that it makes an awful lot of difference. But I'm seeing a Doctor tomorrow so fingers crossed he/she will be able to help me (yeah right!).


Feeling incredibly lazy and unmotivated. Nowt new there then

[Percy]

Yes, good luck consolida

[Consolida]

^/^^ Thank you Nanuq and Percy

Today has been one of the worst ever pain wise. I've been Googling my symptoms again and have convinced myself of all sorts. I hope the Doctor can perform miracles.

[Toxic]

^^ If Google was right I'd already be very far gone with heart failure!

It's a dangerous rabbit hole, I sometimes wonder if half my current issues are because I basically spend every free minute trying to self diagnose myself and I've ended up making it all so much worse

Good luck not getting a crap doctor who thinks your just making it all up (I'm starting to get the impression from my doctors tone on thursday..he thinks its all in my head)

[Percy]

Sorry to hear you're having problems kooky monster.

[3stacks]

I always feel a deep void inside of myself. I try to fill it with food but it's not working lol

Sent from my SM-G988B using Tapatalk

[Amara 94]

Originally Posted by Kooky Monster

I'm feeling squiffy, got a right tummy ache that won't bugger off. I'm stressing out about how many assignments I've left myself to do at the last minute, and that's being made worse by the fact that I'm worried about my cat. Can't be sure if she's eaten something she shouldn't have or not.

Maybe stress is causing the tummy ache. I remember my job before te pandemic was stressful and I had tummy aches off and on that I thought I must have IBS or something. I remember a constant tummy ache dissapearing one evening I decided to go to the cinema.

Since I was made redundant from the job due to covid lockdowns my constant tummy aches disappeared. Now I barely get stomach aches, I also changed my diet, but I feel it's the stress that brought most of it on.

[Tembo]

@Kooky Monster - I hope your assignments go well, and that you feel better soon.

@3stacks - sorry to hear you feel you have a deep void! I suppose at least it’s food which you are using for comfort rather than something stronger!

————-

I feel like I’m getting nowhere with absolutely every aspect of my life. At least a few years ago, I felt like there was hope. There still is hope, but I’m running out of patience. I’m really scared about the future, as I’m sure I’ve said hundreds of times on here like a broken record.
I want to be happy. I want to feel alive.

[Consolida]

Thanks everyone who wished me good luck with my Doctors appointment. I've written a boring update on the 'How are you feeling physically' thread so I won't go on about it here.

@ Kooky Monster - I hope the tummy ache is now no more, that your cat hasn't eaten anything she shouldn't and that you manage to catch up with your assignments x


@ 3stacks - I can relate to feeling the deep void inside of yourself and also of trying to fill it with food. As void fillers go, it could be a lot worse as long as the food isn't too sweet or fatty

@ Tembo - I remember when you were really beginning to make a lot of progress and you'll get to that point again. The World has spent over a year struggling with a Pandemic (sorry I'm sure you already know this ) so don't be too hard on yourself. It's been a stressful time for everyone, and especially for SA sufferers, so try to be gentle on yourself. You're start to stride forward again


Stressed, stressed, and stressed.

I'd just taken some painkillers for the wretched legs and was preparing to get ready for bed when one of my cats started acting completely out of character. She was pacing around the house crying then straining to pee. She was obviously in pain as there was some blood, so we called the out of hours Vet's immediately.

So, at 11pm we are at the Vets. She's been given antibiotics and painkillers and I'm really hoping that it's a simple case of Cystitis or some other UTI. If it's not that it may be a stone or the worst case scenario a Tumour. She is my son's beloved fur baby that he has had since he was 5 so I'm going to hope it's Cystitis and not even allow my mind to contemplate the worst case scenario

[Mo34]

^ Hope your fur baby is ok UTI's are quite common in cats so hopefully that's all it is.

---------
Just had a lengthy and surprisingly honest and helpful chat with the lady at the Richmond Fellowship. Told her that the Psychologist/ATS still haven't got back to me since 1st week of Mar and that I'm pretty sure now that it's PD or PD traits etc.. from the things she said. She's going to contact the pathfinder clinician to look into my notes and see what's going on/has been said/decided/diagnosed. Also brought up my referral for an ASD assessment so if I can find the letter with the contact details she's going to enquire where about's I am on the waiting list. I kind of hope that I don't get an assessment until there back doing them face to face. Surely over zoom can't be as effective?
She's referring me for peer support with them, don't know what I think to this but will give it a go. And is going to send me some DBT workbooks/stuff. I'm not sure if DBT is something for AvPD/SPD (if this is indeed what I have traits of). I usually hear it associated with BPD. But don't suppose it will hurt.
Just gotta wait and see what the pathfinder clinician finds out in my notes, I want to know whilst simultaneously don't want to.

[Consolida]

^ Thanks Mo
She seems back to her old self after her late night trip to the Vets. The long acting antibiotic injection they administered seems to have fixed the problem so I'm guessing it was an UTI.

The chat with the lady at the Richmond Fellowship sounded like it went well.
It's sounds like it's quite a slow process to get the correct diagnosis but it's obviously important not to rush these things so that you don't risk getting misdiagnosed.

[Dougella]

^ The rules are changing on 17th, which is next Monday, and we will be allowed to visit other people's homes and stay over night. So if going to stay with your parents for a bit would help you you'll be able to do that from then.

[Mo34]

^^^ Oh I'm glad she's feeling better

Yeah she at least was helpful. As to ATS there not really interested I don't suppose. I suspect their just hoping I'll go away tbh.

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by indignant misanthrope

lately I have been overwhelmed by a sense of fear. I am not sure if it's the med change but every day I get this feeling something terrible is going to happen to me followed by physical tension, hand and fist clenching. I am also incredibly tired every day. i'm not sleeping as much right now. it's hard to motivate myself to do anything productive.

What meds were you on and what ones have you changed over to?

If your body is still getting used to being off the old meds and adjusting to the new ones this could possibly be making your anxiety feel overwhelming? Just a thought.

Sleep deprivation can also make anxiety worse though I know only too well how hard it is to have a restful nights sleep when you are feeling tense and anxious. It's a vicious circle

Feel better soon


Feeling so worried and apprehensive
My son is starting work experience tomorrow as part of his college course. He has to drive a fair distance on an unknown busy road with lots of crazy drivers and then walk into an office where he knows nobody. Then he has to drive back again avoiding crazy drivers! I feel so anxious anyone would think it was me doing it. I shan't relax for a second until he is back home safely and I know that the day went okay. Does being a mother ever get any easier?

[AireleeBray]

Disappointed my coworkers have seen on fb my daughter is raising money for a good cause & only 1 has said she would donate. Its not about giving money it's they haven't acknowledged it, i understand not everyone can or wants to donate money but if anyone else at work was doing something like this I know they would all support by donating or sharing or talking about it at work.

Just cements the fact for me that I'm not a friend to them. & I feel pretty embarrassed that almost all donations are just family

[Tonkin]

Having one of those days where I wake up and feel like I've been run over by a truck in the night! Well not that bad, but you get the idea. If I run or do any exercise in the evening I feel like absolute rubbish the next day. It's hard because I feel like I need to be fitter for my general health and well being but exercise tends to wipe me out. If I run in the morning instead of the evening, I feel too knackered to really get any work done all day. Walking doesn't really help with my fitness as I do it a lot so it's not really taxing enough.

[Amara 94]

A bit irritable. But it's a Facebook group conversation that made me irritable.

[Consolida]

^ Facebook should carry a Government health warning like a packet of fags


@ Tonkin -It's good that you are keeping up with the exercise even though it wipes you out. I've never felt energised by exercise - exactly the opposite - and envy those people that get a real buzz from it.

Originally Posted by AireleeBray

Disappointed my coworkers have seen on fb my daughter is raising money for a good cause & only 1 has said she would donate. Its not about giving money it's they haven't acknowledged it, i understand not everyone can or wants to donate money but if anyone else at work was doing something like this I know they would all support by donating or sharing or talking about it at work.

Just cements the fact for me that I'm not a friend to them. & I feel pretty embarrassed that almost all donations are just family

I don't blame you for feeling disappointed, I'd feel exactly the same way too

I guess if people acknowledge your daughter's good cause then they will feel that they should also be donating and if money is tight or they have good causes coming up on their Facebook regularly from other 'friends' then it's not possible to donate to them all. It won't be because they don't like you or anything because you are clearly lovely

Don't feel embarrassed. The most important people in your life - your family - have donated and that's all that matters. Well done to your daughter, btw, you must be such a proud mummy


@ Nanuq Thank you He got there okay (I told him to text me when he arrived) so that's a relief. Just the return journey for me to worry about now


@ Indignant Misanthrope Thank you
I'm sorry that you are unemployed. I hope you find something to do today to distract you from your anxieties

[Dougella]

^ I think a lot of young people would be excited by going somewhere new and meeting new people, I wish I knew what that felt like . I hope everything goes well for your son and he's home safely this evening.

[Consolida]

^ Thanks
He wasn't excited about it and would have preferred not to be going but he seemed calm and resigned to the fact that this work experience is a necessary part of his college course. I think only the most confident extrovert types would feel excited about meeting new people. Just the mere thought of it makes me want to..... I'll leave you to imagine what, lol!

[Dougella]

^ Aw, well yes it's just something that's necessary, good that he is able to be calm about it. I feel the same!

[AireleeBray]

Thankyou consolida, I am a very proud mummy.

My feelings about my coworkers was set in stone today though, 4 of us talking about looking forward to cinemas opening
1-'oh I want to take my son to see this movie'
Me - 'oh I want to take my son to see that'
2 - 'me &' other coworker' are taking our girls
3 - -'me too I want to take my son'.
1 (to person 3) - 'me & you should go Wednesday & we can take them to get mcdonalds'
3- 'yes we should let's go next week'
1 - 'my son would love that we can go as soon as I pick him up'

Me - stand there awkwardly

[Consolida]

@ No Longer Human Yes we need to see a picture from your leopard print jacket and fishnet stockings era!

I wouldn't want to be a teenager again apart from having good physical health that I totally took for granted. I think it's true, in some ways, that youth is wasted on the young.
I don't remember having any independence in my teens. I had a very sheltered upbringing compared to others my age. My mother had old fashioned ideas and especially puritanical views when it came to her daughter and boys


@ AireleeBray - Aww, stuff your coworkers you are far too nice to be their friend! I've experienced similar things in the past and it's so gutting isn't it.
I don't understand how a group of people can be so rude and insensitive to talk about going out and not invite everybody that's standing there. It seems to me that it is them NOT you that is lacking in social skills xx

[AireleeBray]

^^ thankyou both, it is painful, I try not to care, but I've been holding in tears all day. Feeling worthless really.

[Professor Willow]

Feeling tired but content with a job well done.

[Consolida]

^ Aww you and me both Kooky
Wouldn't it be nice if we could change our brains but only the negative self destructive bits so we could be the same person but a happier more positive version of ourselves.

Feel better soon

[girlinterrupted]

I'm too tired to know, and yet still awake. Something seems awry there

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Kooky Monster

Absolutely defeated and at my wit's end.

I'm not usually one for crying but I've been a blubbering mess for the past three hours and counting. I wish it were possible to trade this shitty brain in for a new one.

Aw, what's wrong?

[anewyear]

Maybe it's the alcohol talking but actually, maybe I'm doing ok :-) just back from the pub and held my own in a good way