Friendship requests - ground rules

PussyRiot · #1 2nd June 2013, 07:57

deleted by smellycat

Defiance · #2 2nd June 2013, 14:53

Songar · #3 2nd June 2013, 21:55

Very well put Smelly

aVoice2use · #4 6th June 2013, 21:28

I was wiating for the thirdly.....

PussyRiot · #5 6th June 2013, 23:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by aVoice2use

I was wiating for the thirdly.....

Yeah, I could have moaned on all day lol. I actually feel quite embarrassed about that thread now.

I sound like a dictator.

Sebby Debby Ding Dong · #6 7th June 2013, 00:20

you havnt killed or tortured many people (presumably :P), so you aren't such a tyrant-y dictator :D

black_mamba · #7 7th June 2013, 00:30

Aww I thought it was a very smart post. I wasn't sure if it was about friendship requests in general or something else to do with the chat room (this thread was posted in the chat room forum), but it was a thoughtful post.

DaughterOfTheRains · #8 7th June 2013, 20:28

So if it was a good post why delete it and render the thread pointless? I hate it when people do that for apparently no really valid reason, just because they are worried about what others might think. Of course this is a shyness forum, but IMO people here do that kind of thing far too much.

PussyRiot · #9 7th June 2013, 20:36

Thanks Black Mamba, I would have deleted the whole thread if I could. I just sounded like I had thrown all my toys out of the pram!

Ekul - how do you know I haven't tortured any one? Careful, I know where you live -

PussyRiot · #10 7th June 2013, 21:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olivia.

So if it was a good post why delete it and render the thread pointless? I hate it when people do that for apparently no really valid reason, just because they are worried about what others might think. Of course this is a shyness forum, but IMO people here do that kind of thing far too much.

IMO this belongs to the 'small things that annoy you' thread

PussyRiot · #11 7th June 2013, 22:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tabitha

This is why I don't have friends on here. I would worry too much if someone was bitching about me, behind my back. I had enough of that in reality.

I totally agree with you, x

aVoice2use · #12 8th June 2013, 18:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by smellycat

Yeah, I could have moaned on all day lol. I actually feel quite embarrassed about that thread now.

I sound like a dictator.

No need. MAy have been said above but it is quite brave to put your thought forward like that.

My list could probably have goone on into 3 figures....

Sebby Debby Ding Dong · #13 9th June 2013, 04:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by smellycat

Ekul - how do you know I haven't tortured any one? Careful, I know where you live -

uh oh!... *jumps on a plane to move county* You'll never catch meeee...*falls out of plane window*.. aww damn it... catch me! catch me! :P

UkG · #14 11th July 2013, 01:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defiance

Man this forum needs a "thanks" or "like" button.

DaughterOfTheRains · #15 16th July 2013, 16:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by UkG

Man this forum needs a "thanks" or "like" button.

Yes I would like to see that, if not a full-blown so-called rep system to rate peoples' posts! Unfortunately the majority view seems to be that this could upset shy people here by making some feel inferior. IMO that may be true in some cases, but just because this is a mental health forum I don't think that's a reason to avoid such features.

dace · #16 16th July 2013, 18:08

So many people would be too meek to post anything, they would assume they would start getting lots of negative rep, even some of the formerly well respected posters. Think it's particularly bad for SA.
And what about the SA people that are genuinely bad communicators? Lots of negative rep probably will push em a lot closer towards suicide, they would almost certainly stop posting.

black_mamba · #17 16th July 2013, 18:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by dace

So many people would be too meek to post anything, they would assume they would start getting lots of negative rep, even some of the formerly well respected posters. Think it's particularly bad for SA.
And what about the SA people that are genuinely bad communicators? Lots of negative rep probably will push em a lot closer towards suicide, they would almost certainly stop posting.

I agree with this. Online rep systems (a stark form of judgement) and social anxiety (often a phobia of judgement) do not mix. Very dangerous mixture.

DaughterOfTheRains · #18 16th July 2013, 19:56

Well perhaps you're right, i can't personally relate much to internet anxiety except perhaps in the past with one-to-one msn chats. Anyway Shy United is very different, and extremely quiet now. The automatic proboards upgrade did though include a new facebook-style option to 'like' posts, but no-one seems to bother using it. Incidentally like most forums, it also has a clear hierarchy of user titles based on your post count. It causes no problems and is also not allowed here.

black_mamba · #19 16th July 2013, 20:07

^Hmm you see I find forums like that a little over zealous in creating this false hierarchy. I don't think it makes a difference if you've been here for 10 years or 10 days. I understand that the hierarchy actually doesn't account for much but I think there are quite obvious social implications.

I can imagine a rep system useful for a hyper busy forum like TSR (The Student Room) in highlighting to mods who is a definite trouble maker and whatnot. Not sure it's useful here. I don't know.

girlinterrupted · #20 16th July 2013, 20:10

I can`t think of many things worse (forum related) than a "like" option,hierarchy of any kind for an SA site like this one.

*Chucks in 1p`s worth,I`m on a budget you know*

David K · #21 16th July 2013, 20:37

I don't like any of that stuff, partly for aesthetic reasons. Clutter is bad. Post Count and Join Date are irrelevent. Mood is gimmicky. Location is something you would visit a profile to find out, not something that needs to be repeated with every post. "Member" is completely redundant, custom user titles are trite. Signatures are a distraction (I've got one, I know...). I do like avatars though. Unless they're huge!

All I care to see is who posted and when.

Amber Fyre · #22 16th July 2013, 21:17

Having a 'like' feature would cause waaay too many problems here. Imagine if someone posted very frequently and never got a 'like' whilst posts above and below theirs frequently did?

It's very easy to take things personally when you have SA. Of course it's good to challenge our own negative thought patterns and to attempt to take things less personally, but this is an SA forum and we can't force that challenge on to people. We have to cater for people at all stages of recovery.

Many people come here because they feel rejected and unliked elsewhere, so the last thing they need is to feel every post they make it being judged on whether it is good enough or not. It's not something we need. If you think a post is particularly great you can just respond to it saying so.

David K · #23 16th July 2013, 21:19

^ Good post +1 karma. Move one inch closer to Heaven.

Kevin Hodge · #24 16th July 2013, 21:44

the rating feature should consist of selecting from an array of celebrities faces. if you hate a post you would select someone like michael winner or gordon ramsay, whereas if you loved it you would choose someone like nicolas cage or ron jeremy. imaging software would create an image combining all of the faces selected by users, morphed together. heres jackson vs mr bean

youd never know how many people had responded and wouldnt be able to tell if they were judging you negatively or not

although i suppose it would end in people starting threads like "why do people always respond to my posts with that picture of gary coleman"

black_mamba · #25 16th July 2013, 21:46

^LMAO

That's 3 times you've posted pics that have frightened me now!

Kevin Hodge · #26 16th July 2013, 22:43

in almost total semi-seriousness, i really seem to be drawn to stuff that people find horrible :3 i just find it stimulating and enjoyable, especially filthy frank, he REALLY stimulates my enjoyment

Criticalthinkingcoach · #27 17th July 2013, 10:09

Lol. I can't believe a like option is being considered on a SA forum. Would cause havoc. Having said that maybe it would facilitate (constructive) discussion, feedback and development. Yes,I am in favour. I like feedback...as long as it is that I am ace!

PussyRiot · #28 17th July 2013, 10:29

I would hate it - I would keep polishing up my posts checking if they were witty or informative enough. Definitely not a good idea on an SA forum.

PussyRiot · #29 17th July 2013, 10:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin Hodge

the rating feature should consist of selecting from an array of celebrities faces. if you hate a post you would select someone like michael winner or gordon ramsay, whereas if you loved it you would choose someone like nicolas cage or ron jeremy. imaging software would create an image combining all of the faces selected by users, morphed together. heres jackson vs mr bean

This picture will give me nightmares

youd never know how many people had responded and wouldnt be able to tell if they were judging you negatively or not

although i suppose it would end in people starting threads like "why do people always respond to my posts with that picture of gary coleman"

036 · #30 5th August 2013, 21:33

Ok so what are/were the ground rules?