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21st November 2016, 12:44
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
If I am ever to achieve any form of happiness I have to stop thinking and start doing, there is no other way, I have wasted quite literally years of my life thinking and talking about things I want to do but then the fear gets to me and I back away.
I was thinking how nice it would be to maybe go to the cinema and see a movie or pop to the pub, the only reason I avoid these activities is because I have no one to go with. The reason I don't have anyone to go out with is because I don't go anywhere to meet anyone, it really is the proverbial vicious cycle and it needs to be broken. No matter how hard I try this will cause me discomfort but what choice do I have? Carry on getting more bitter and miserable? Honestly I am scared but I have to do this, I have to. 
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21st November 2016, 13:37
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Start thinking stuff is getting better and things will be sorted and then of course it starts crashing down again. I think I'm wanting stuff that I can't have but that I see other people having and it never gets easier to accept that.
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21st November 2016, 16:28
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Finally managed to get through to the secretary at the hospital and have an appointment with the new consultant on Thursday. That will be pretty much nine months since breaking the wrist.
It better not take another month to arrange a date for the operation again. 
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21st November 2016, 22:27
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
97% of communication is non verbal! (body language etc.)
I guess that is why it's so difficult to truly get the measure of someone without meeting them, so basically with online dating you are relying on 3% of the available info to make a decision about someone.
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22nd November 2016, 07:50
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Why is it still raining, surely there can't be much left up there to come down?
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22nd November 2016, 14:51
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ & ^^ I think that when people are in need of someone’s help, they gravitate like injured animals towards the people they think can give them that help, then when that person has healed them some of them fly away without a second look back. It’s a compliment in a way that they come to you, that they see you as a nurturing presence. It’s insensitive of them to just bugger off when you’ve helped them, but if you close yourself off to it happening again then you might miss the person who could also be there for you. You’ve just got to get a better radar for who is and who isn’t worth your time like that.
I'm thinking my sleep is so screwed up. I slept for fifteen straight hours after taking an amitryptiline, was up for two hours then back in bed for four hours, then up for two hours before going back to bed for another eight hours. Those pills just zonk me the **** out. I have been up for about 15 hours now and i'm ready for bed, but i've got to be somewhere at 6...
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23rd November 2016, 10:22
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Holy crap, £500 just to remove a mole?!
 It's only a shot of local anaesthetic, a quick slice and a stitch ffs! Think I'll get my scalpel out and do it myself! Or maybe I could cauterise it with the soldering iron  Trouble is it needs to go 
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23rd November 2016, 10:26
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
The GP removed three of mine when I told them two were rubbing on my clothes, and one dark one had appeared within a year (I had taken photos of my weight loss and happened to notice it). Perhaps you could say the same
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23rd November 2016, 11:06
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ My GP had a look and says that he isn't happy to tackle the job himself (too many blood vessels near it) it used to be smooth so wasn't a problem but it has now grown a kind of nipple which I can see is going to get ripped off
Might just try the old tie it off with dental floss method like they use for skin tags and hope it drops off (I don't care if I still have the mole I just need it smooth!)
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23rd November 2016, 11:53
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Birmingham university is big and scary and full of confident people. Aaargh.
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23rd November 2016, 15:05
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ Yeah, maybe I should lay it on a bit thicker with my GP, at the end of the day it is causing me problems because I have to be careful not to snag it and it looks weird too.
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23rd November 2016, 18:26
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Back in my car and trying to calm down. Really scary day, fighting panic most of the day. Freaking out.
Don't know if I can do it. Realised today how ****ing big a step it is. Don't think I can cope with it. But I don't want to be stuck at home working in a family business forever. Aaaaaaah.
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23rd November 2016, 19:30
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Thanks winter and Mo. Think today has shown me I'm not ready for such a big step
problem is I can't think of an inbetween step. Can't afford to move out near family and if I stay at home will feel like I have to keep working for family business. Which also means having to pay rent to parents (agreed don't have to whilst studying), which means probably means having very little money left. And being stuck in the same situation which is stopping me moving on.So the options seem to be move out and go to uni, move out and get full time job. First option probably easiest option, but very worried I'm not able to cope with it at the moment and it will be too much and I'll end up having to drop out. But at least if I move out and go to uni there's support structures there. If I move out and get a full time job there's nothing. I would need to move quite a way from home to be able to afford somewhere to live. Want to travel but no one to go with. And that only postpones the issue. Feels like my dreams have just come crashing down and I'm going to be stuck forever.
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23rd November 2016, 20:08
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
An old face has returned
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