Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Rocket Spud]

I have no chocolate...

[Rocket Spud]

... Nor herbal tea


There's only one way to remedy this grim situation - it's pop to the shop time!

[Rocket Spud]

Me too, now

Multipack???? You gutty git!

[biscuits]

What are frazzies?!

I dunno what they are, but the name makes me want them

[biscuits]

Oh silly me. FRAZZLES. I mistook the l for an i!

When I went to secret cinema once they made a vegan burger with vegan bacon. When I opened the bun, the vegan bacon was frazzles NICE TRY.

[Bored]

Why can't Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson get a proper haircut....

[biscuits]

I bought a chocolate bar in Tesco.

Got to work. Did the work. Opened my bag for a naughty little bit of sustenance. The chocolate bar was no where to be found

I bet I left it at the till. I'm going in tomorrow. I wonder if the lady kept it for me. We usually have a little chit chat in the mornings.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by biscuits

I bought a chocolate bar in Tesco.

Got to work. Did the work. Opened my bag for a naughty little bit of sustenance. The chocolate bar was no where to be found

I bet I left it at the till. I'm going in tomorrow. I wonder if the lady kept it for me. We usually have a little chit chat in the mornings.

Or the chocolate ghost took it.

[Appear]

I had my first full day off ill from where I currently work yesterday. And I'm doing the same again today. Since starting there a year and 8 months ago, I've only had two afternoons off. Yet I feel guilty and like I'm imperilling my (fairly cushty) employment by not logging on. And all while I know I'm generally in the good books and I'd have to be off way more for it to be even raised as an issue. This is annoying.

[Amara 94]

Stayed at an aunt, not a related aunt though, although my granny helped to raise her. Yesterday she took me shopping and was criticising me for wearing black as I am black. I understand her point as blacks stands out more on white skin but also think it depends on the tone of black one is. I also feel I like to dress a bit subtle because I’m so self conscious if I stand out, I feel like a fraud a bit. Even when I have a nice haircut. She helped me but a few necklaces, we looked at watches. Tbh I would enjoy to dress up nicely but then it’s a huge contrast to the Billy no mates, socially awkward guy I am.

She talks excessively and I think easily build rapport with strangers but I don’t think she keeps many long term friends although I wonder if she has adhd, bipolar or something as it’s like she talks and doesn’t let you talk, seems really impatient but also seems really determined. Yesterday a stranger started a convo with her. At the jewellery shop she got the assistant to look at them products for us, knew one of them as well.

Last night she talked so much about rich people and how we should try to be rich, she spendt the entire evening speaking about this. How they invest for the future. Also talked abit about relatives that she stayed with in the past, some relatives that don’t interact with me and my mum. She said how sometimes they were cold towards her such as not eating any, nice Nigerian snack she made, but how people are like that and you shouldn’t take it personally. And that it takes me contacting family to build a relationship as no one else would probably try.

She has also spoke of my blood aunt and uncle. She spoke of my granny in a good light but not them. Although I think I have to actually meet them to know them. My granny is nice to me but does speak poorly of my mum so sometimes I wonder if my granny is manipulative. How could all of her kids end up somewhat dysfunctional yet she is great? That narrative doesn’t make sense to me.

This aunt I met also says British born kids have never truly suffered. She might have a point though I disagree. I feel perhaps others suffer more from the outside world but then how is suffering measured. I think internally everyone suffers, it’s like everyone feels happy and sad, a third world kid wouldn’t feel less happy internally that a rich person suffering from depression. Or even pain a strong boxer wouldn’t experience more pain than someone who is attacked but doesn’t usually fight. This aunt didn’t have sympathy for some homeless people we passed as there are organisations to help and they are most likely drug addicts according to her.

The trip to her has been great though. When we were shopping she said I should be treating myself, if people are bad I should remember that I have myself. I would like to live that mentality a bit. But then my current lifestyle kind of makes it easy to neglect treating myself. I feel motivated writing this but feel I might not truly change.

[Amara 94]

Originally Posted by Lee S

^ Your aunt sounds very judgemental, sounds like she talks to you like you're a kid. You're an adult and can wear what you want.

I think she’s Nigerian. I wouldn’t say Nigerians are more judgmental than British. I feel British can be judgemental but it’s more subtle in the body language whereas a Nigerian, though I don’t speak to many, would voice it out what they think.

I also think she may have some neurological disorder.

[biscuits]

I’ve been cutting my own hair for the past two years because of COVID anxiety. I finally booked an appointment at the hairdresser for Saturday. I’m really nervous. Also I’ve booked a silent service, which now makes me worry that it will make it awkward. And there’s the awkwardness of when they make you a drink, but there is never an opportune moment to sip on it.

[Rocket Spud]

^ Get a long straw? Don't even have to use your hands.

[Rocket Spud]

Girl downstairs don't half stamp around sometimes. Anyone would've thought .... .... .... something about her being heavy

[Amara 94]

My mum was saying how she doesn’t want me to mix with extended family as they are trouble. The people I just met aren’t blood relatives but grew up around my mum. From my experience the aunt probably had something like adhd as well as her son and I suspect the son also had autism. His stim seems to be some kind of dance he repeatedly does and he seems really smart. Kind of motivates me to mask less I don’t make myself mask but feel I just do because my mum used to tell me off for my natural behaviours. As well as not stimming as much I feel I lost my natural expression.

There house, my aunt also kept the lights off, turned the boiler off unless we were showering. It makes me feel a bit like my mum has been told or made to feel her house isn’t good but it is alright. I guess part of suffering is about perspective. But then my mum is mentally ill and doesn’t seem to have any friends.

Despite this my aunt still seems to be trying.

[Amara 94]

Just saw my work schedule for next week and I am not looking forward to it. Signs I should find another job.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by biscuits

I’ve been cutting my own hair for the past two years because of COVID anxiety. I finally booked an appointment at the hairdresser for Saturday. I’m really nervous. Also I’ve booked a silent service, which now makes me worry that it will make it awkward. And there’s the awkwardness of when they make you a drink, but there is never an opportune moment to sip on it.

Good luck biscuits

[Tembo]

April Fools Day isn’t really funny any more, with everything going on.

[Percy]

What's the point of Made in Chelsea?

[biscuits]

^ me! I'm the kind of idiot

Originally Posted by Percy

Good luck biscuits

Thanks, uncle Percy.

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

^ Get a long straw? Don't even have to use your hands.

Go-go gadget straw. I like it hehe

[anxiouslondoner]

^ good luck, I'm sure your fantastic new hairstyle will make it worth the awkxiety (that's a word I just made up for the occasion)

[Professor Willow]

Originally Posted by Percy

What's the point of Made in Chelsea?

Originally Posted by The*Crafty*Elf

What's the point in Any of those "Scripted Reality" shows? You have to wonder just what kind of idiots watch them?

I don't see the point of such dross either.

It's really sad that enough people watch it to make it commercially viable to produce such shit.

[biscuits]

^^ thanks, al! I'm looking forward to the head massage.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by biscuits

Thanks, uncle Percy

You're welcome lady Biscuits

[Professor Willow]

How did my grandparents manage to spawn so many back stabbing narcissists?

[Percy]

I'm loving The Crown

[Amara 94]

I find that when I feel helpless and want more of something that I feel I can’t easily get it makes me feel depressed.

Perhaps that’s why sometimes when I have felt it is alright to be boring and don’t strive for too much my mental health seems better, although I do still focus on things, perhaps better as I’m calmer. But I focus on more mundane or easier to achieve things.

But now as I want what feels harder to get it feels like the periods where I feel fine with not trying too hard are some kind of deception.

[genovese]

^ In any environment where your mind starts a conveyor belt of thoughts such as those (easily done btw), try going through some song lyrics in your head. Or even a nursery rhyme.
Your brain then has something to focus on and 'thoughts' suddenly do not get through - as easily.
I hadn't realised I was doing it, but anytime I take a blood test at the hospital I starting singing
1 2 3 4 5 once I caught a fish alive....etc.

Very difficult to think & sing at the same time.
Try it in different environments, standing in a queue etc. More practiced you get at doing it, the more control you can gain in a situation.

[newbs16]

It must be nice to have a bladder that stays silent in the night.

Sent from my SM-A530F using Tapatalk

[Amara 94]

^^ I’m thinking of this song.

It’s good that you managed to eat lunch in a busy place though.