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  #1201  
Old 22nd April 2021, 16:16
Pink*Lady Pink*Lady is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Thank you Consolida and Counterpoint.
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  #1202  
Old 22nd April 2021, 23:41
Percy Percy is offline
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^Nonsense you're a lovely human being who deserves happiness, you certainly should'nt have been drowned at birth.
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  #1203  
Old 23rd April 2021, 02:02
Consolida Consolida is offline
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^ Thank you Percy, your kind words mean a lot
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  #1204  
Old 23rd April 2021, 18:08
Consolida Consolida is offline
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^ Your'e a kind soul NLH, thank you
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  #1205  
Old 8th May 2021, 18:26
Mellie Mellie is offline
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I’m slowly getting closer. I’m so irritating to be around I’m driving everyone mad.
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  #1206  
Old 8th May 2021, 18:34
Percy Percy is offline
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Aw, no you're not mellie.
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  #1207  
Old 8th May 2021, 18:36
Mellie Mellie is offline
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You don’t see me everyday
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  #1208  
Old 8th May 2021, 19:42
Percy Percy is offline
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I see enough of you to know it isn't true.
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  #1209  
Old 8th May 2021, 20:56
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Rarely go on here anymore.
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  #1210  
Old 8th May 2021, 22:08
Consolida Consolida is offline
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^ I'd noticed that you hadn't been around for some time but hoped it might be because things were going better for you. I'm sad to hear that this isn't the case

Please take care of yourself Mellie and remember that we are here if you need to chat x
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  #1211  
Old 8th May 2021, 22:16
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Thanks consolida. Sorry to disappoint but still feel the same, lost hope. I hope you are well consolida and Percy xx
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  #1212  
Old 8th May 2021, 22:34
Mellie Mellie is offline
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I really wish my parents aborted me. Argh I feel such a failure in life and disappoint them everyday by saying how shit I feel constantly
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  #1213  
Old 11th May 2021, 01:13
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Not in a good place
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  #1214  
Old 11th May 2021, 04:06
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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^ I hope you start to feel a bit better soon.
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  #1215  
Old 11th May 2021, 06:31
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^^ aw Consolida, you have a lot to try to cope with . is there someone professional that you can talk to about your feelings and experiences at the moment. I really hope those feeling start to lessen

@Mellie so sorry that you’re feeling that way. Mental health can hold us back and create barriers, making it temporarily challenging to achieve what we would like to - it’s really important to recognise that with patience and kindness towards yourself. I hope you can work through these feelings and reach out for some support
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  #1216  
Old 11th May 2021, 17:48
Consolida Consolida is offline
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^/^^ Thank you Newbs and Biscuits, you're both very kind to me xx

Living is such a constant battle. Is it meant to always be that way?
Either my mental health is very poor or my physical health is poor and now it seems to always be both. If I was an animal I would have been euthanised long ago because that's the kind thing to do when an animal is suffering and there's no hope of improvement.
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  #1217  
Old 11th May 2021, 18:12
biscuits biscuits is offline
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^ Adult life does seem to be a constant stream of unfortunate/wtf now events. I forever feel like I'm having to adapt my coping strategies and it puts me in right spin. I often have mini breakdowns and overwhelming feelings like I just can't cope. (Hope that helps to make you feel less alone with these feelings.)

Them doctors need to pull their fingers out and sort your physical needs. And hopefully you can find someone to talk to, I really think that will help you because you have a lot going on - it must be challenging to find ways to process and deal with it on your own. (I hope it's okay to say this and also sorry to be bossy.)

You're the sweetest person and I hope you get to see a glimpse of your worth
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  #1218  
Old 12th May 2021, 00:51
Consolida Consolida is offline
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^ I'm sorry that you are having your struggles too sweet Biscuits and, yes, hearing how you are coping does help me to feel less alone Thank you xx
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  #1219  
Old 12th May 2021, 11:37
Counterpoint Counterpoint is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Hope you are both doing ok Biscuits and Consolida. I was reading about the benefits of taking a walk when you feel down. It doesn't have to be long, 10 to 20 minutes even. Simple but highly effective, and I don't mean to be facile about the very real struggles we all have to deal with in our lives, but it's something I always try to work into my routine, and it never fails to lift my spirits. And spring is here.
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  #1220  
Old 13th May 2021, 08:53
Consolida Consolida is offline
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^ Thank you for your kind words and advice, Counterpoint, it's very much appreciated

I do love quiet countryside walks but I'm finding it hard to get out on my own these days and my husband is working in the week. I'm not keen on walking around the local neighbourhood for silly SA reasons. I did walk for an hour on the treadmill so I'm guessing that's better than nothing!
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  #1221  
Old 13th May 2021, 09:16
Nanuq Nanuq is offline
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^ Could you drive somewhere quieter to walk? Even though I already live somewhere quiet I still get social anxiety about walking near my house because of seeing the neighbours and the same people every day. I've always preferred to drive somewhere different to walk, usually I have about 5 or 6 places I can get to, so again I don't make it too routine as I wouldn't want to see regular faces!

Since my walking is restricted I have sometimes taken to just driving to where I would get out and walk, putting the radio on in the car, stopping for a bit and then driving home again! It probably seems like a waste of time and petrol, but mentally sometimes I just need to leave the house, and that makes it worth doing.

I have found that I have lost my confidence driving a bit too, since being so ill. So it helps to do little journeys where I haven't got the stress of having to get somewhere. If you're feeling similar, maybe you could just try some short drives by yourself and come straight home? Rather than feeling daunted by having to be out by yourself for too long?

Well done for going on the treadmill
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  #1222  
Old 13th May 2021, 13:26
Consolida Consolida is offline
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^ I could maybe muster up enough courage to drive to some of the parks and woodland areas not too far away from me, but then my neighbours are very keen dog walkers and seem to drive their dogs to some of these places regularly. Also, like you, I dread bumping into people I know and having to stop and chat especially if I'm feeling extra socially anxious and/or physically unwell at the time.

A half hour drive would take me right out into deep rural countryside but I'm nervous to do that for different reasons. I know it's incredibly rare, but the poor lady who was murdered while walking her dog in Kent recently has made me even more nervous to be out in the middle of no where on my own

I shall stick to the treadmill in the week and hopefully go for some nice weekend walks with my husband/son when the weather improves.
Roll on the day when I can move somewhere different
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  #1223  
Old 13th May 2021, 13:51
Nanuq Nanuq is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Yes, that would make me nervous too
You get used to walking in isolated spots and feel safe because it's familiar and seems like safe countryside. There are some beautiful parks near me that I never visit alone because it's not that uncommon for things to happen there, but where I walk, around farm land or down canals, I never think about the isolation.

Hopefully the weather will be good this weekend and you'll be able to get out x
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  #1224  
Old 13th May 2021, 20:15
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Aw thank you, Consolida and Counterpoint x

Great idea to get out into nature, Nanuq. Hopefully it’s nice this weekend so you can get out for a walk (with your cats I nearly put haha) with your son and husband, Consolida. I’m planning to get to the forest with my dog and to get some bits from the garden centre. Maybe if we all blow out of our windows we can blow the rain clouds away hehe.
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  #1225  
Old 3rd June 2021, 00:11
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Struggling with depression at the moment.
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  #1226  
Old 3rd June 2021, 11:44
Consolida Consolida is offline
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^ Hope you feel better soon Percy
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  #1227  
Old 3rd June 2021, 12:11
Tubbs Tubbs is offline
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Sorry to hear that Percy We on the forum are here if you need to talk.
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  #1228  
Old 3rd June 2021, 12:15
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^^^
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  #1229  
Old 7th June 2021, 13:24
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

The dark cloud of depression is descending again which makes me even more of a difficult and hateful person to be around
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  #1230  
Old 7th June 2021, 13:50
Counterpoint Counterpoint is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Hope everybody is doing ok. Sending loving thoughts to all who need itl

I've felt increasingly there is only one way out of this problem I have. It is terrorising every waking moment of my life and it's getting worse the older I get. I work with young students and notice how normal anxiety and nerves are, but the difference with me seems to be the shame and sense of self-loathing for not being able to get a grip on the problem. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't understand the world.
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