Cringeworthy Songs

[Mr. Nobody]

Post any awful cringeworthy songs or music that makes you wince,.
Those people or artists who seem to have the exact opposite of SA,
an apparent complete absence of mortification, decency and self awareness.


To kick off,... here's good 'ol cap'n Kirk getting carried away with his sense of mystery and intrigue, and overblown ideas of his vocal abilities.

[Mr. Nobody]

Dad dancing, displaced anger and overtly theatrical (and frankly, scary) displays of emotion..what's not to like?

[Mr. Nobody]

Carrying on with the initial star trek theme, here's the adventurous Leonard nimmoy having a stab at pop stardom,...and failing.

[Mr. Nobody]

Chas and Dave AND Gazza? oh dear

[Mr. Nobody]

Sad little self-proclaimed bimbos push women's lib back about 50 years.

[Mr. Nobody]

70's naffness delivered US style.

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by faceless crime

(This one isnt so much a cringeworthy performance as just....horrible to listen to)

Several months ago, an artist on tumblr drew a viral comic about how listening to Paul McCartney's little-known song Temporary Secretary guarantees you 'an absolutely dreadful time', so I, like everyone else, went and listened to it and...yeah. I didnt have a good time.

The comment section is gold, too.

God, listening to that is an awful experience
The 80's were when everyone thought they had to experiment with synth music, whether we liked it or not.

Reminded me of this slice of sleazy awfulness:
It's catchy enough but the vocal delivery is repugnant.

[Mr. Nobody]

There's a saying, "where there's muck, there's brass" Greg Dyke certainly made plenty of brass out of this appalling muck.

[Mr. Nobody]

Not sure what the British public had done back then to deserve this, but good old Terry showed us he had the perfect voice for radio,...but not for music.

[Mr. Nobody]

This famous painter won't be doing any touching up for a while thankfully

Yip,..I'm sure Led Zeppelin would usually interact with their fans by saying "altogether now"

[Jen.]

Originally Posted by No Longer Human

I
I think it's good to see what appears to be a genuine dude trying to say something on stage with music - clumsily, awkwardly - rather than some stylised, polished act that usually fits the bill for those chat shows.

I enjoyed his performance the first time I saw it too, based on assuming the same thing, but then noticed he did exactly the same routine every time he did the song. Apparently he did identical performances for the live shows before the TV debut, and has done exactly the same performance in the hundreds of times he's played since then. Even though it might not appear so on the surface, it's probably as stylised and polished an act as anything else, thought up with the intention of becoming a meme.

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by No Longer Human

I chuckled too at the dad dancing too first time (what a deplorable and man mocking term dad dancing is, but that aside).

Watching again though, I was thinking what a brilliant song and raw performance this actually is - reminded me a little of Ian Curtis, always on the edge of expressing the inexpressible, and hunting for some sort of something to convey that.

I read in the comments that he was said by a journalist to be "dancing like no one was watching" and he replied that he was dancing knowing that everyone was.

I think it's good to see what appears to be a genuine dude trying to say something on stage with music - clumsily, awkwardly - rather than some stylised, polished act that usually fits the bill for those chat shows.

I'd agree,.I do find it a very raw, and emotional performance and actually like the song,
But I've always found it a bit scary too, I'm a bit bothered by hearing him physically slap his chest and pull at his clothes,
If he was walking towards me on the pavement doing that I'd cross the road quickly every time.
I appreciate the emotion, but then, it's a bit scary too to be honest,
I couldn't sustain that level of angst for more than a few seconds without at least having a good scream or a blub.

[Mr. Nobody]

3,500 years ago in Mesopotamia, humans invented Astronomy , and the sky was mapped out.
430 BC in Athens humans invented democracy,
in 1698 steam power was invented,
in 1827, the atom was discovered.
in 1969 the first human walked on the moon.

in 1981 the brave new age of humans invented the Birdie song

[Jen.]

I love that Vitas one He started doing it again a couple of years ago after it became popular, he performed it at a festival and went on tv a couple of times, but now suddenly looking much older. This is an especially good "performance":

[Mr. Nobody]

Think smoking was obligatory in the 70's,..as was a token picture of a sultry blonde,
although in my day I recall they were strangely enough usually covering beer cans, rather than magnified to 7 times their usual size, accompanying a performance on a music show

Here's Telly, on the Telly.
(no, this isn't an audio book,..it's actually a song in the charts)

[Mr. Nobody]

Clive Dunn,.. belting out this 70's maudlin lacklustre classic,.,
Wonder if he comes complete with werthers originals and a faint smell of wee?
could have been worse right enough,....could have been jimmy saville sitting there

[Sunrise]

I think I risk being prosecuted under the Geneva convention by posting this. It's basically 3 minutes of pure torture with absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever. Seriously, everything about this video is wrong on so many levels. Watch at your own peril.

[Oddity]

Originally Posted by faceless crime

(This one isnt so much a cringeworthy performance as just....horrible to listen to)

Several months ago, an artist on tumblr drew a viral comic about how listening to Paul McCartney's little-known song Temporary Secretary guarantees you 'an absolutely dreadful time', so I, like everyone else, went and listened to it and...yeah. I didnt have a good time.

The comment section is gold, too.

It's definitely awful, but I respect he's experimenting. Why is he tying to sound so American though? The way he says "rary"

[Seagull]

Either I’m missing the point of this thread or the OP’s missing the point of ironically theatrical Future Islands. Great band, the Jools Holland performance of that track utterly sublime performance art imho.

[Mr. Nobody]

^
yes,.. especially when that terrible teenage angst (in a balding adult) is duplicated time and again in every other performance whilst the other band members play along nonchalantly, barely even taking notice,.. hmm, seems VERY real to me,

(but, as I stated before, I do like the song, on a musical level, but that poor man's theatrical shirt tearing, chest thumping and mock tears are nothing short of pitiful, and truly embarrassing, Wouldn't be surprised if he produced a human skull from beneath his ripped t-shirt and pronounced, "alas, poor yorick" )

[Mr. Nobody]

Saying as it's around Christmas period and all, I thought we'd have a man stuffing a bird,

Yes, I too wish you would fly off, yah cahnt.

[Seagull]

^^ top bombing Mr N, the next post-lockdown Future Islands gig at a suitable venue that’s equidistant between me and you (The Leeds Playhouse probably) you and I are getting front row seats!

[Mr. Nobody]

Noel Edmonds is guilty of many crimes that offended public decency IMO not least of all was a ridiculous game show where naive simple minded members of the public tried to guess what he had hidden inside his box every week,

This was another such crime, which must have collectively dropped the average UK IQ (and taste levels) several points.

[Mr. Nobody]

at last, a chance for some olde English Chavs to recreate their karaoke duet on live TV,
they'd usually be dahn the local, for a spot of dominos and a pint,. but tonight Mathew,. they're on the telly,. innit'

[Sunrise]

Originally Posted by Mr. Nobody

Noel Edmonds is guilty of many crimes that offended public decency IMO not least of all was a ridiculous game show where naive simple minded members of the public tried to guess what he had hidden inside his box every week,

This was another such crime, which must have collectively dropped the average UK IQ (and taste levels) several points.

He was such a irritating character. Completely unfunny, looked absolutely ridiculous, and spouted nothing but nonsensical gibberish. And his sidekick Mr Blobby wasn't that great either.

[Mr. Nobody]

hi-di-ho,..
a bit of pure class from Ted Bovis,. a.k.a. Paul Shane,

it's just like (drunken) karaoke down the pub, but with a touch of class.

[Pink*Lady]

Timmy Mallet - Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini.

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by Nanuq

oh dear me.

That reminds me of Vic and Bob's pub singers, remember that?

Believe it or not that is a family favourite,

We usually play a game of it at Christmas, we all sit around trying to guess what the songs are, it's usually a good laugh

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by Pink*Lady

Timmy Mallet - Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini.

That sounded so bad on paper, I had to look it up,...
It's actually so annoying, I couldn't possibly inflict it on this ere thread,...

Here's Toyah being a bit desperate for attention and trying to prove she's still young and desirable with a bonkers version of Sandman,..
it's all a little bit embarrassing really,.

It looks like its really cold there, their heating is maybe broken,...or something ?

[Merritt]

Originally Posted by Mr. Nobody

hi-di-ho,..
a bit of pure class from Ted Bovis,. a.k.a. Paul Shane,

it's just like (drunken) karaoke down the pub, but with a touch of class.

Baby bay-BEH