How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by The Devil, Probably.

Those were years when wishing "the earth would open up", and hiding in toilets if there was any opportunity to, or closing a door on the world (and then feeling awful for doing so because now everyone thinks of me as the loser hiding in his room) were common for me.

Sadly, that strikes a chord with me
I spent much of my youth hiding in the College toilets at the end of the day and waiting for all the students to go home so that I could catch a bus that wasn't packed to the rafters with rowdy teenagers. Then, as a 20 something at work I'd frequently disappear into the toilets to have a cry.

Happy days - not

Originally Posted by Merritt

I think of the isolated life I have now, cut off from all but the essentials and the very few people I haven't been able to burn my bridges with, and I think, this is pretty much what I spent my youth wanting (or, perhaps, needing) Basically having the opportunity to live under a rock.

I can somewhat relate to that.
I'm spending a lot of time avoiding and isolating in my middle age years and hiding away indoors, which would have seemed like such an enviable position to be in as a young me when I couldn't get out of doing so many things but am I any happier for it? Not one bit. Not doing certain things because it causes anxiety is not the same as choosing to not do those things because you have better things to be doing - if that makes any sense.

[anxiouslondoner]

Kind of rubbish really. Can't seem to shake it.

[newbs16]

Isn't anxiety just shit

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[Percy]

Sorry to hear you're having trouble anxiouslondoner and newbs16

[humphrey]

I am feeling bitterly disappointed at myself. I feel like I am just going to end going around the same loop of life forever. I don't seem to have anything to look forward to. I just seem to be stuck on the treadmill.

[Counterpoint]

^

I can relate with those feelings. But try not to blame yourself Humphrey, because it can add to the sense of hopelessness, unneccessary weight upon your shoulders, making it harder to see forward.

[T]

Wow MH/SA can be so tiring and draining I try to put on a brave face and force my way thru from day to day but sometimes i want to stay in bed and hide away from the world at times but i push myself every morning to get up and that inself is sucessful!

[Tubbs]

Sad and blue. Annoyed with myself for being so pathetic and useless

[Dougella]

^ You're not either of those things

[Tubbs]

Aw thank you Dougella, just feeling down today for no real reason

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Tubbs

Sad and blue. Annoyed with myself for being so pathetic and useless

Cheer up tubbs

[Amara 94]

I think that I made myself angry thinking about family

[biscuits]

^

^^^ Aw, Tubbs. Sorry that you have those feeling right now. I feel the same (about myself, not about you!).

[Professor Willow]

Really really annoyed with myself for being such a pathetic wimp.

[Tubbs]

Originally Posted by Percy

Cheer up tubbs

Originally Posted by biscuits

^

^^^ Aw, Tubbs. Sorry that you have those feeling right now. I feel the same (about myself, not about you!).

Thanks guys. Sorry you also have to deal with this shite, Bis Nothing could be further from the truth though, you are ace

[Tubbs]

^^ You're not that at all

[Jam do Bronx]

Originally Posted by Professor Willow

Really really annoyed with myself for being such a pathetic wimp.

Do you know how hard it is to get by day to day while suffering with mental health? It takes a lot of strength and courage. Someone like that doesn't sound like a pathetic wimp to me.

[Amara 94]

Today I had a bit of a idgaf attitude at work. I think I feel mildly angry and determined.

[Mo34]

Have restarted a anti depressant I used to take. Finally woke up the smorning not feeling like death for the 1st time since starting them. Still over tired but a lot better. Still have to double the dose :/ , slightly apprehensive to.

[Consolida]

^^ The idgaf attitude is not such a bad one to have Amara
At least I'm thinking it's perhaps preferable to worrying and caring too much which us SA folk are usually prone to doing.


@ Mo - I'm sorry that you've not been feeling so good lately but pleased to hear that the anti-depressants are now kicking in and lifting your spirits. What medication have you been prescribed? I'm currently on Cymbalta/duloxetine which I don't think helps me although when I missed a dose I was especially weepy so I don't know


I'm feeling apprehensive. The GP is meant to be phoning me today about my recent foot scan. I'm hoping the results may show up 'something' and explain my leg pains which are flipping excruciating 24/7. I'm still not convinced my vitamin D deficiency is the cause.
I'm also worrying about my cat again. She seemed to be doing so much better with her ear/balance issues and had even started going outside again but I think she's having a relapse

I'm also attempting to cut down on the wretched Benzo's as the prescriber is about to retire although a 50% drop is probably not the way to go.

[Dougella]

^ I think it also/instead indicates that we have a serious problem in this country with mental health and people who are extremely emotionally repressed and/or can't express emotion in healthy ways. We have real problems with pretty large numbers of people who are frustrated and angry in their lives, aswell as having generally low self esteem.

[choirgirl]

Originally Posted by The Devil, Probably.

Sometimes I think back to the past and wonder, how did I ever manage to get through that? I'm thinking, for example, of twenty years ago when I went on a field trip for my A Levels to Bangor University. There are many examples I could detail but this one comes to mind. This would have entailed half the day in closed confinement in a mini bus, while being so shy to barely be able to engage in conversation. I can recall a cute girl I had a crush on at the time sitting near to me on the mini bus for a few moments and trying to get me involved in the group... and giving up quite quickly when it no doubt became apparent that I had a screw loose and could barely speak even when spoken to. And then later over the next four days being divided into groups, being sent out into the field, being in shared accommodation, being around others and unable to get away, etc. when I had no social skills and felt.. just awful.

Those were years when wishing "the earth would open up", and hiding in toilets if there was any opportunity to, or closing a door on the world (and then feeling awful for doing so because now everyone thinks of me as the loser hiding in his room) were common for me. I look back, and I have no idea how I got through it - but I was on my own, and had no option but to. This was long before one could play a mental health exempted-from-duties card, though I would have probably been too shy to play it anyway.

I think how morbidly shy as a youngster I was, how avoidant I ended up becoming, and it is fair to say that it ruined me. By now I am almost entirely disconnected and disengaged from the world. One of the benefits of age is that there is far less need to do such things, such as being stuck in a mini bus wishing every second you weren't. One of the negatives of that, though, is that as an adult one can avoid everything and anyone - even the stuff of life itself.

But you've done so much better in some ways than when you were in education. Whereas I got worse! Apart from my French exchange paranoia, I was functional. Yes, not wanting to be the loser in the bedroom was one of the main reasons I couldn't bear to move out into shared housing again. I wanted to either be respected and be part of things, or not bother at all, and I had the luxury of a choice. I've wanted to live alone since 20, and I've just wanted to crawl under a rock since about 25. Haven't managed it though, because the road to doing it involves a lot of being a functional adult, which apparently, is not my strong point. I can't say crawling under a rock is exactly the life I wanted for myself, but it seemed necessary, and it fitted in with my early fantasies of living alone anyway. Yes, I suppose when you have no choice, you do just get on with it for as long as you can manage.

[trulyblue]

^are you off anywhere nice?

Feeling really lonely my only friend in my local area passed away earlier this year, it was very sudden.

I've got 2 other friends who live further out one who seems to be ignoring me for some reason and the other has a busy life who I haven't seen for ages.

Lonliness is a killer I just dont know what to do to combat it.

[choirgirl]

^That's really sad.

Yes, I don't see my friends often, and one has moved away. That said, I can be okay not speaking to anyone for about three months before noticing! I think I've gotten worse with age. I don't know either. I am worried when I finally move out it will be hard, because I was originally supposed to move out (in my head) before everyone was at settling down age.

[trulyblue]

^will you be moving out to live on your own?

Back a mums for 3years now after marriage ended.
Will at some stage have to move out but not sure if I'm going be be able to cope on my own at least here I've got company.

[Laracroft2]

HI everyone! I just wanted to share with you that my anxiety has improved (after being chronic and hideous) Biscuits recommended ACT, so I have been seeing an ACT therapist and I feel like its actually working!! Heres some tips that cost me a bomb in therapy but you can have for free:

Locate the anxiety in your body and instead of fighting it and thinking of it as the enemy - imagine breathing around it to make space for it. Learn to accept it instead of trying to squash it down or surpress it.

theres no such thing as negative emotions - there are only emotions.

Accept the anxious feelings - they show that you care. Don't run away from them.

Im now learning how my ventral vegal nerve (responsible for fight or flight response) can be retrained how to respond to frightening situations. This is really important to me because ive always believed i had an over-sensitive flight response which causes my anxiety. No one else has ever offered a therapy that is so tailored to me before!

I was able to do something the other day which I have never had the bottle to do, even though I really wanted to. I went to a theatre group to offer my sevices backstage. We had a read-through and i got on the stage and read the play with the others. It was great!!

thank you bicuits for recommending ACT. Its really working for me - I never thought anything would.

[biscuits]

^^ & ^^^

This is exactly how I have been feeling! I thought I was alone in this situation. The thought of living on my lonesome after living in a lively and busy home terrifies me because I'll be all on my own in the silence.

@Lara, how lovely to read that things are improving for you :D
(p.s. I think it was lovely Dougella that made the ACT recommendation )

[twosocks]

Awesome lara

[trulyblue]

^^ not alone in thinking that way biscuits. I'm petrified of living alone with just my cat for company.

I've got 6 years till I'm 40 theres no way mums gonna put up with me living here for that long . Hoping to meet a partner I could maybe set up home with, well see

Just spoke to my mate, he'd switched phones so feeling a bit better after a chat with him.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Laracroft2

HI everyone! I just wanted to share with you that my anxiety has improved (after being chronic and hideous) Biscuits recommended ACT, so I have been seeing an ACT therapist and I feel like its actually working!! Heres some tips that cost me a bomb in therapy but you can have for free:

Locate the anxiety in your body and instead of fighting it and thinking of it as the enemy - imagine breathing around it to make space for it. Learn to accept it instead of trying to squash it down or surpress it.

theres no such thing as negative emotions - there are only emotions.

Accept the anxious feelings - they show that you care. Don't run away from them.

Im now learning how my ventral vegal nerve (responsible for fight or flight response) can be retrained how to respond to frightening situations. This is really important to me because ive always believed i had an over-sensitive flight response which causes my anxiety. No one else has ever offered a therapy that is so tailored to me before!

I was able to do something the other day which I have never had the bottle to do, even though I really wanted to. I went to a theatre group to offer my sevices backstage. We had a read-through and i got on the stage and read the play with the others. It was great!!

thank you bicuits for recommending ACT. Its really working for me - I never thought anything would.

That's great news! How did you find a therapist that specifically does ACT?