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  #1  
Old 29th December 2011, 00:54
Winters Winters is offline
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Default Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

I have suffered with depression, stress, anxiety and social behavior issues for many years now. Things have gradually been getting worse to the point where I actually hate myself. I feel like a complete failure in everything I do, be it work, socializing or doing everyday things? It would really help to know I'm not I'm my own.
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  #2  
Old 29th December 2011, 01:06
TommyGun TommyGun is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

No you're not alone I hate myself too and have been feeling really low recently,even more so than usual,I could have written this exact thing myself tbh.

Welcome to sauk btw,hope you find what you're looking for.
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  #3  
Old 29th December 2011, 01:12
Toxic Toxic is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

mostly

not quite Everything about me, although im finding it harder and harder to find stuff to be positive about (and if i was to now make a list of positives to like about myself.....i ..cant..think of anything )
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  #4  
Old 29th December 2011, 01:20
Winters Winters is offline
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Thanks, it really helps knowing I'm not alone. I'm sorry you also feel this way, I really wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I shouldn't drink, it makes me feel ten times worse but I just can't function in a social environment without drinking alcohol, it's a catch 22 situation. I'm not an alcoholic or anything but I get so nervous, don't know what to say to people so end up drinking far to much to quickly to compensate for my social awkwardness.
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  #5  
Old 29th December 2011, 01:48
Between The Bars Between The Bars is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

im glad you made this thread Winters. i bet this goes waaaay over 1000 views.

welcome to SAUK


just now, (like many of us on here) i hate even getting up in the morning, i hate looking in the mirror to see how old im looking, even despise that i have to have a bath.

bought a guitar - im fkn useless at trying it! how many fkn string things does the fkn thing need

cooking!! fk i tried that one night, i had prepared a gourmy for 1, but then the kitchen went on fire, and an ambulace crew and fire brigade arrived. so i had to sit outside talking to the cop that arrived on the scene.

^ the best thing about that night, was a wee Chinese paramedic guy in my house he taught me how to make rice in the microwave that night
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Old 29th December 2011, 01:58
Ajax Amsterdam Ajax Amsterdam is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

I don't these days, but I can relate because I used to hate every fibre of my being. Even now I wonder if I'm any good at anything at all, but despite that I'm pretty much at peace with myself now.
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  #7  
Old 29th December 2011, 02:33
mhealer3 mhealer3 is offline
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Wink Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

i'm happy with myself, but this is recent.
most of my life i ran from the shame i felt inside.
i had 2 be busy because it distracted me from feeling desperately lost.

the way i got from hating myself to liking myself was-- by forgiving myself.
i heard that God 4gave all my sins in JC, and i was glad to embrace that good news.
since i learned that God loved me, i have become more & more free.
yes, it took 40 years, but i wasn't doing anything better anyway.

i still feel like almost nobody on earth likes me.
and i've tried everything 2 make friends.
so now i'm just accepting things the way they are.
trying to figure it all out really can drive you crazy.
think about God, pray & ask for His help.
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  #8  
Old 29th December 2011, 12:19
T T is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benfica
I don't these days, but I can relate because I used to hate every fibre of my being. Even now I wonder if I'm any good at anything at all, but despite that I'm pretty much at peace with myself now.

I'm the same well i'm getting to the stage of accepting myself now but every now and then i have a blip.
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  #9  
Old 29th December 2011, 12:36
GhostOnMagneticTape GhostOnMagneticTape is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

I used to immensely in my childhood and teens which drove me to a couple of feeble suicide attempts. I know this is a cliché saying but it's obvious as well, self acceptance is the only key to over coming self hatred and loathing. Now I'm in my 30s, I've matured a bit more with some of life's experiences behind me, I still have my bad days and wallowing in self pity but I think I'm an OK human being despite still having my imperfections physically and mentally, I actually acknowledge my strengths and perks!

I still wonder myself if I am good at anything but part of me says so what, who is to dictate if I have to be good at something? I just want to try and enjoy life, have positive experiences and more happiness.
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  #10  
Old 29th December 2011, 13:08
Mr Ploppy Mr Ploppy is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

I quite like myself, dosen't help one bit though as no one else wants to know me.
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  #11  
Old 29th December 2011, 13:19
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Control Again
cooking!! fk i tried that one night, i had prepared a gourmy for 1, but then the kitchen went on fire, and an ambulace crew and fire brigade arrived. so i had to sit outside talking to the cop that arrived on the scene.

^ the best thing about that night, was a wee Chinese paramedic guy in my house he taught me how to make rice in the microwave that night
OMG !!

everything okay Dude ?

can you still live there,.. or was it ( hopefully ) a small-ish fire ?
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  #12  
Old 29th December 2011, 13:38
goth_jester22 goth_jester22 is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

I have many things i hate about myself but i do have alot of things i realy like about myself too for instance i'm a realy nice guy and will go out of my way to help a friend (i'm babysitting for my sister today infact all day/night and she has 3 kids plus i had to get up early and pay to get the bus here) i guess you have too think about the things you like about yourself if you feel down.
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  #13  
Old 29th December 2011, 13:54
across the pond across the pond is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Not as much as I used to hate myself - sometimes when the demons are doing their best I hate the effort it takes to stay one step ahead - I definitely hate the fact that I got to this place all by myself - by that I mean that I was my own bully - of course the reverse is true and I can get to a healthier and happier place by myself by my own efforts - on the good days that seems so doable and really now there are more good days than bad.
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  #14  
Old 29th December 2011, 14:22
Ajax Amsterdam Ajax Amsterdam is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by T
I'm the same well i'm getting to the stage of accepting myself now but every now and then i have a blip.
It's good to hear that you are almost there on the self-acceptance front. I think the blips are natural. Most thinking people question themselves from time to time, and if we do it at a low point we can have a downer on ourselves for a time. I think that if we always keep a bottom-line thought that despite everything we are a decent and worthwhile person, it can help us through those times. Anyway, keep up the good work, T.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynic
I haven't.
But you have. You just don't recognise them.

No one can be perfect at anything. Perfection does not exist. So you cannot be perfect at being bad, wrong or whatever. You cannot be perfect at having no qualities.

Having qualities is one thing. Recognising them, well that's another.
You've got them, as has everyone else here. Even if you don't see them.

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
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  #15  
Old 29th December 2011, 18:49
Naura Naura is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Why are you feeling more Teflon now that you have joined SAUK?
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  #16  
Old 29th December 2011, 19:02
ghost.of.an.englishman ghost.of.an.englishman is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynic
I'm not saying they aren't true, but I will say they haven't got me anywhere in life and don't change the fact that I'll probably always be jobless, peniless, dateless friendless etc. etc.



Qualities are pointless if they don't suit the society that you're part of. Unfortunately, in a society like ours, the qualities that GC listed above mean diddly squat without any of those that the society values (confidence, money, connections, toughness, good looks etc.) in individuals.
But you admit you have some positive traits. Aha!
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  #17  
Old 29th December 2011, 19:28
Between The Bars Between The Bars is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerry302199
OMG !!

everything okay Dude ?

can you still live there,.. or was it ( hopefully ) a small-ish fire ?
thanks luckily it was a small-ish fire, at the time i just remember thinking to myself "why are all these people in my house"

it was the next morning when i sobered up and smelt the smell of smoke that things gradually came back to me! it was my first homemade stirfry (and my last )

my Aunti was there aswell, cause she heard the fire engines and ambulances! next day she said "only you eh! only you can have paramedics cooking rice in the middle of the night in the bloody microwave"
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  #18  
Old 29th December 2011, 20:19
Ceega Ceega is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaveGirl
I hate myself physically and will always lose that battle especially now the world is so focused on bodies which feeds my issues
This.

Because I have the misfortune of seeing my dreadful reflection everyday I'll never be able to accept myself. Any redeeming character traits I may or may not have are irrelevant when I remember what I look like.
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  #19  
Old 29th December 2011, 23:26
Winters Winters is offline
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I totally understand; I had the most important meeting of my life with a Surgeon today and he said there is nothing "easy" that can be done "and certainly not on the NHS" to fix the jawline deformity that has occurred since having an operation to remove an infected saliva gland. What's ironic is that it was an NHS dentist mistake that led to the gland becoming infected in the first place and I'm now being told that I have to live with the deformity for the rest of my life! I really can't comprehend where to go from here, can't face people anymore and everyday is a battle to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning!
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  #20  
Old 29th December 2011, 23:53
Between The Bars Between The Bars is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

@ Winters, im not really sure what to say. i just hope you feel better soon
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  #21  
Old 30th December 2011, 01:03
The_Fr33_Man The_Fr33_Man is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Its impossible to hate everything about yourself i think. That would mean hating every pleasurable experiance you have, which would turn someone to suicide within seconds.

As for me yea I can remmber numerous nights going over things i hated most about myself, over and over and wishing it changed. But you know what cheers me up everytime it feels like an eclipse of negativity, remembering the miracle that is myself, the countless trillions of cells working overtime to keep me alive and beating so I have the oppertunity to correct what i feel is wrong; i cant hate being given such an oppertinity /endcliche
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  #22  
Old 1st January 2012, 17:02
Only_human Only_human is offline
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Default Re: Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

I can totally relate and have struggled with this for absolutely years. I struggle to let people in because at my core I still hold so much resentment towards myself so often push them away instead in the hope they'll be mean to me as then I feel better as I feel i've got what I deserved. The last two years, i've got a lot more controlled and rational in terms of my old thought processes but it's still something that's there and resurfaces every now and then, especially at times when I feel numerous people are unnecessarily nice to me which often will then mean I go into my shell and avoid them for a while until I can absorb it and then deal with it. I think it does get better in time, and certainly the thoughts, hopefully get more rational and controlled as you learn how to deal with them more.
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