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  #1  
Old 15th May 2021, 11:55
Spideysenses Spideysenses is offline
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Default Need help. A blog anonymously or a book?

I cannot turn back the clock. I am honestly caught between the idea of writing my story as an anonymous blog. Or going for gold and releasing a memoir. I know I must share my story. That it has value. A memoir may be a way to get my foot in the door with a publisher. Is it worth trying to remain anonymous or using a pen name/pseudonym in this day and age? Can I press charges against a violent ex if I am counting on this book without it bearing my real name? If I release the book without my true name, I may not be able to get justice in order to forgive and move on. It is a conundrum to say the least.
Honest opinions would be greatly welcomed.
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  #2  
Old 16th May 2021, 12:45
Spideysenses Spideysenses is offline
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Default Re: Need help. A blog anonymously or a book?

I worry about the legal repurcussions of coming out later because there is always a declaration at the start of fictional books saying that the characters are not based on real people and any similarities are coincidental. So I will most definitely need to seek legal advice. I haven't gotten far with victim support. If I had sought their help eight to nine years ago then it would have been greatly beneficial. I can see why people who write harrowing memoirs use pseudonyms. As it protects others as well as themselves. A few more years of careful deliberation can't hurt when I've come this far. I feel like I am exactly where I should be, in the right mind space to plan a new novel and put the memoir in the drawer (or a locked safe) for a later date.
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  #3  
Old 16th May 2021, 23:22
dustyfied dustyfied is offline
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Default Re: Need help. A blog anonymously or a book?

I like GirlAfraid's suggestion - maybe first write the story and then decide what to do next. It sounds like you're dealing with something that's still very raw (as you mention getting justice in order to forgive and move on). Maybe writing the story is more important than deciding how to publish it?
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  #4  
Old 17th May 2021, 12:42
Nanuq Nanuq is offline
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Default Re: Need help. A blog anonymously or a book?

^ I agree, it seems that for you writing is a therapeutic tool that you need. It seems quite different to writing from a commercial point of view.
My guess is that people write about very personal experiences when they feel at a safe distance from them, and it seems like you don't have that distance yet. So maybe write because it's cathartic? And worry about publication when you can look at your experiences from a comfortable distance?
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  #5  
Old 17th May 2021, 15:01
Spideysenses Spideysenses is offline
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Default Re: Need help. A blog anonymously or a book?

I should have known that when you open an old wound that it takes time to stop bleeding. The emotions are raw, yes. I shouldn't be worrying about publication. I should be concentrating on healing fully first and that includes using the creative outlet until I find the right therapist. When I am ready I think solo therapy and then the bpScot group meeting's. Then college. But one foot infront of the other. A fictional story would provide the distance. A buffer between the painful recollections, reveries, memories. My family and ex were horrible to me, there is no denying it. And others. I have worked through the hard parts and made ammends with family. They don't have to say out loud that they felt guilty for letting me down. I am fine letting sleeping dogs lie there.
When it comes to my violent ex, I only gave my statement to the authorities a month ago. I wasn't lying when I said I have felt lighter since then. I have been hit by some anxiety, I expected to. I didn't expect to feel the pain in the side of my chest. The palpitations. I don't usually get those physical effects. It was like my body was saying this is real. That was only the beginning, it is scary knowing I will possibly have to face him in court.
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  #6  
Old 17th May 2021, 15:37
Nanuq Nanuq is offline
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Default Re: Need help. A blog anonymously or a book?

It seems very current, Spideysenses, do not have any support through the process?
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  #7  
Old 17th May 2021, 18:30
Spideysenses Spideysenses is offline
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Default Re: Need help. A blog anonymously or a book?

I was assured not to worry about the duration of time that had passed. I gave a brief statement years ago. I have only recently been in the position to give a full account of all the abuse that is recognised as so. Not everything. Only the full written story can do that.
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