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  #1  
Old 19th August 2022, 10:28
Alone. Alone. is offline
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Default Are you afraid of being seen

I am. It’s annoying because it stops me from connecting with people as I don’t open up to most people.

I feel my anxiety around a lot of people is the fact that I believe that I am somewhat not good enough or if someone likes me I will disappoint them. As there is very limited transport in London today I have had to sleep at the hotel I work at. I just realised it’s actually anxiety triggering to walk through the reception because I’m not in work attire and I was irrationally conscious of being judged for that.

But then I was also thinking of my family. I had an uncle here in the uk that never use to visit until my granny recently came to the uk, visited us when I was a toddler. My mum, she is in the mental hospital now, but she constantly says how I need to see the doctor and am not normal. I don’t feel like my family has ever really made me feel like I’m alright you just be me. I feel even when my mum comes out of the hospital I probably wanna move out.
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  #2  
Old 19th August 2022, 13:46
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

^ Sorry to hear that your Mum is in the hospital, although hopefully she's getting help with her mental illness?

As to the original question, yes I am very closed off.
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  #3  
Old 19th August 2022, 15:44
Alone. Alone. is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

Why?^
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  #4  
Old 19th August 2022, 16:05
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

^ Why am I closed off?
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  #5  
Old 19th August 2022, 16:34
Alone. Alone. is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

Yes, why are you?

I think for me it’s a fear I’m inadequate if that the parts I hide look weird.
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  #6  
Old 19th August 2022, 16:49
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

^ Yes for the same reason really and fear of judgement. Fear that people will find out how weird I am and not want to know me anymore.
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  #7  
Old 19th August 2022, 17:27
Alone. Alone. is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

The same although it’s really false cause how can you connect with others if you don’t open yourself up? I find the people I’m closest to can easily make me happy but also hurt me more emotionally than people I’m less close to. So in a sense opening up is rewarding but scary.
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  #8  
Old 19th August 2022, 17:32
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

^ Exactly, that is why I have very few people that I'm close to and a lot of potential friendships have drifted (amongst other reasons ofcourse).
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  #9  
Old 19th August 2022, 18:10
Nat36 Nat36 is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

I don't like being visible to others. I hate the feeling of someone watching me and it is definitely a factor in my social anxiety. When I am in very distressed states (panic/anxiety) around others (something I go to great lengths to avoid) then the being watched feeling intensifies.
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  #10  
Old 20th August 2022, 12:11
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

^ I feel that too.
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  #11  
Old 20th August 2022, 12:56
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

The description of SA that best applies to me is fear of scrutiny, so yes I am like this too. Not exactly afraid of being seen, but afraid of being scrutinised.
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  #12  
Old 20th August 2022, 13:53
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

I like you, Alone . I hope your Mum is able to come out of the hospital soon.

Yeah, I am terrified of getting close to people. I'm good at being vaguely someone's friend haha. But not many people know that much about me. I try to steer any spoken conversation away from me. It's definitely down to shame and worrying what people will think of me. Not that I have any exciting or deep dark secrets. It's fairly tame and uninteresting haha.

But at the same time I'm fairly open about anxieties etc. I used to find that really difficult but it helps a lot.
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  #13  
Old 20th August 2022, 14:27
anxiouslondoner anxiouslondoner is online now
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

Yes. I have constant humiliation anxiety that if I make myself visible I'll be mocked viciously for being the monumental fraud that I feel like.

I can maintain a level of minimal social interaction as long as I don't think about it too much. Any whiff of attention leads to self-consciousness and I'm a bumbling sack of awkward apologies.
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  #14  
Old 21st August 2022, 23:12
Dean Winchester Dean Winchester is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

For me it's more that I have no choice whether I'm seen or not. Being able to 'mask' would be actually be a life-transforming godsend.
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  #15  
Old 21st August 2022, 23:29
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

^ Same.
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  #16  
Old 22nd August 2022, 07:53
Alone. Alone. is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dean Winchester
For me it's more that I have no choice whether I'm seen or not. Being able to 'mask' would be actually be a life-transforming godsend.
Really?
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  #17  
Old 24th August 2022, 02:04
Dean Winchester Dean Winchester is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alone.
Really?
Yes.
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  #18  
Old 24th August 2022, 07:54
Alone. Alone. is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dean Winchester
Yes.
But why?

I guess too a certain extent masking is good but if you mask to the extent that you aren’t really seen I think you end up regretting it and feeling somewhat trapped. Because I’m afraid to be seen I think I mask to a high extent.

I feel even lots of people in society mask and maybe appear in a bit so positive mood because of it. They fit in but don’t reach their maximum potential because in a way masking is holding back.
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  #19  
Old 24th August 2022, 23:43
DocHope DocHope is offline
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Default Re: Are you afraid of being seen

Yep, I rarely leave the house in daylight and walk my dog at night when no one is around.

I can feel very tense when I have to walk past group of people.
Probaly look like a right miserable so and so..

Groups scare me.
Hate the feeling of being seen and judged.

These feelings so alienating and it's impossible to connect and trust others.
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