What age were you when you got your first girlfriend/boyfriend?

[Olly.]

Originally Posted by jimrob

I met bumped into a guy at work today and he said to me 'What is your girlfriend getting you for Christmas?'. I mumbled 'errr, I haven't got a girlfriend'. The guy laughed and said 'why not?!'.

I felt so embarrassed, as if I was abnormal for being single. If only he knew I hadn't had a girlfriend for 8 years!

It does amaze me sometimes how people can be so obnoxious and rude like this, I would have felt like punching him!

[rocco]

There was one girl last year who i may have had a shot with but messed up due to anxiety. She was an old school friend who moved to yorkshire about 15 years ago. I found her on facebook and we started chatting. Things were going great till i got drunk and told her that i had fancied her since i was 11. She didnt reply negatively, but this was waaaay too soon after we got back in contact and the next day I was totally convinced id made a total tit of myself. I ended up too afraid to speak to her for like 2 weeks, by the time I did it was clear things had changed. She came back down south this summer and I gave it another go, but got shot down pretty hard. Then I did something incredibly stupid and she blocked me on fb and stopped responding to texts and calls and we havent spoken since. Sigh.

Shes still on my xbox friends list, I keep hoping she will contact me through there but she never does and im too afraid. Maybe oneday ill work up the balls, but in all honesty i really should just forget about it now.

[Julian3000]

Well at least you tried Rocco, i've been shot down in the past and its harder when you never find out the reason as to why they turned you down. As it allows your mind to come up with its own reasons and having SA, 90% of the time it will be negative.

[rocco]

Yeah she never gave me a definitive answer, just said she only ever really liked me as a friend and was sorry for leading me on. Ive thought of some pretty self loathing reasons as to why she rejected me when we met up I guess ill never know for sure now though.
Worst thing is just talking to her was making me feel so much better, and I was trying as best i could to help her with her personal issues too, of which there were quite a few. After the events of this summer though it seems ive reached a new low.

[Chris P]

31 and still no girlfriend.

[failquail]

Not entirely sure due to fuzzy memory, but likely 18/19 for first GF.

A lot depends on what counts as a girlfriend though, all mine up until i was 30 lasted a week or less, Two of the four of those turned out to be *expletives deleted* girls using poor vulnerable me to make their ex-boyfriend jealous so they could get back with (or hurt) them... The other two nothing much happened apart from a few cinema trips.
My current record is one lasting roughly a month at age 31, though i suspect most of that was because she was too timid to call it off. (i'm sure she had worse SA than me)

I think the biggest breakthrough has been this year at 32 years old. Lifelong optimism broke under the decades of failure and i finally gave up.

Actually quite liberating in a way. I'm not really happy, but i'm not stressing so much about being single any more, (Long term moderate unhappiness is better than a cycle of one-week great happiness followed by months of despair) plus starting to finally make some plans for the future (solo holidays, place of my own), rather than putting it all off waiting for the partner that is never going to show up.

[helzy]

I've spent the last 2 years wondering why i've had multiple partners but none that have wanted a romantic relationship with me, but thankfully, I realised the other day: Because I have no connection with myself anymore. I genuinely believe that if I can become a stronger person in my own, then other people will want to know me moreso.
It might not be the case for everyone, but hey ho.
I've had romantic partners in the past that I have spoilt to a brink, but I think i've learnt my lesson from that. You become partners with a person who appreciates you for you, nothing more, and nothing less.

[helzy]

To answer your question: 14 when I got my first girlfriend, 18 when I got my first boyfriend!

[Pablo Huntsbach]

Originally Posted by jimrob

I met bumped into a guy at work today and he said to me 'What is your girlfriend getting you for Christmas?'. I mumbled 'errr, I haven't got a girlfriend'. The guy laughed and said 'why not?!'.

I felt so embarrassed, as if I was abnormal for being single. If only he knew I hadn't had a girlfriend for 8 years!

I remember some guy on from school who I never liked much messaged me on Facebook, started asking if I had a girlfriend yet (see that part on my profile where it says single?) I said no, he started taking the piss, saying I always was behind everyone else (true, I was a slow learner. Looking back I think it might have been an early form of my depression or something) and gloating about how he just got engaged. Couple of months later he split up with his girlfriend, been single and Facebook-attention-seeking-desperate ever since. Serves him right for taking the piss.

[Swiss]

Was pretty much frogmarched into a relationship when I was 18 and it was a total disaster because I'm so awkward 1-on-1. Nothing since then and I'm 35.

[rocco]

This thread must have gotten to me subconsciously. I had an incredibly vivid dream a couple of days ago (st johns wort is seeming to make this happen quite a lot but thats another story) where I met a really cute girl and we started going out. Then I woke up alone in my bed and remembered that I had no one and have been incredibly depressed since. Sigh.

[ßazza]

12

Had some deep interest before that (Maybe 10 or something) but they moved away before either of us asked each other out.

I regret deeply at the time I never got that girls number, or her get mine.. =/ But met someone else anyway. (If only I got send a warning back in time to skip that one and remain friends lol - Get that first girls number.)

Im very awkward with first contact. Thats like the majority of my experience has been them being the one who takes action. After they admit their never ending love.. or simply fancy me or whatever, I find it easier.

[Medea]

23

[Polygon]

17

[Progress]

When I was about 6 there was a girl who I used to chase and try and pull her knickers down. To me that made her my girlfriend.

[Olly.]

Originally Posted by rocco

This thread must have gotten to me subconsciously. I had an incredibly vivid dream a couple of days ago (st johns wort is seeming to make this happen quite a lot but thats another story) where I met a really cute girl and we started going out. Then I woke up alone in my bed and remembered that I had no one and have been incredibly depressed since. Sigh.

I get this as well, the odd dream now and again where miraculously I'm actually talking to my crush, we're getting on really well and then we start going out, and then I ****ing wake up and realise 'oh yeah, I can't go anywhere near her without having a panic attack and running away'

[Dougie Jones]

Although at 24 and not having been in a relationship, I still feel there is a chance for me at some point in the future. Although as the years have gone by, I have become less and less interested and I think maybe I am not meant to be in a relationship.

I have to admit, I've not tried much at all or put myself out there enough, so in the main I won't truly know unless I do these things. I see myself as too much hassle anyway and don't want to put that burden on anyone.

[DiazepamBrunette]

15, but he was dire, as they all have been since up to the age I am now (24)

I second the more attitude than age post.

[Julian3000]

^ Loving the username

[newbs16]

I am still waiting lol

[Ermm... Yeh?]

N/A for me, but getting into shape and hopefully going to uni later this year so hopefully I'll find someone or she'll find me

[newbs16]

think i am the same ermm yeah lol

[Fiona]

First proper relationship, think I was around 17. Besides, it's not about that, hope someone comes along very soon for you

[Fiona]

Originally Posted by Velociraptor

I am 18 and have not had a boyfriend.

Last year I got asked out by someone who had become a close friend, I wanted to say yes but I said no out of fear I guess, I'm not sure. He was so nice and I had so many chances. Well from talking to my best friend about me (before I said no), the two of them got close and are now together and very happy. To me, being with someone seems impossible, I could never see it happening..

Your only 18 though, got your whole life to find that special person, you can find someone a lot better than him anyway X

[custom_fusion-lqx]

still waiting, i seen plenty of smoking hot girls everywhere i have the mentality of howard from big bang :-D

none though, i have thought of trying speed dating some day when i got the bottle or hitting some bars with a wing man, prob is i have no wingman :[

[pavlovsdog]

Originally Posted by jimrob

I met bumped into a guy at work today and he said to me 'What is your girlfriend getting you for Christmas?'. I mumbled 'errr, I haven't got a girlfriend'. The guy laughed and said 'why not?!'.

I felt so embarrassed, as if I was abnormal for being single. If only he knew I hadn't had a girlfriend for 8 years!

MrAnxiety Although at 24 and not having been in a relationship, I still feel there is a chance for me at some point in the future. Although as the years have gone by, I have become less and less interested and I think maybe I am not meant to be in a relationship.

I think it's about time we singletons stood up for ourselves! The older I have become the more I believe that life is too short to hang around hoping someone will take an interest. There is always the potential that we miss out on other things in life because we don't conform to society's need to label us and put us in neat little boxes. Why shoud we feel bad because we haven't found a mate, there's no law about it is there? I haven't had many relationships and none long-term, but I have been determined to get out there and experiencing life as much as I possibly can. So although I have SA and depression, I have had a fairly full life and much more life experience than some 'couples' I know.

Be proud to be single!

[Scott03]

I will be 28 in a few weeks, and I have not been in a relationship. This is largely because of my social anxiety, lack of confidence, and low self esteem. Depression has been a big problem at times too.

Sadly, I cannot see things changing any time soon. I at least need to show some improvement in terms of these three areas if I want to even think about meeting someone. Being single all of my life so far has been a very lonely experience, but I just cannot see a way out of the problems that I face.

[pavlovsdog]

Originally Posted by Scott85

I will be 28 in a few weeks, and I have not been in a relationship. This is largely because of my social anxiety, lack of confidence, and low self esteem. Depression has been a big problem at times too.

Sadly, I cannot see things changing any time soon. I at least need to show some improvement in terms of these three areas if I want to even think about meeting someone. Being single all of my life so far has been a very lonely experience, but I just cannot see a way out of the problems that I face.

Scott Im sorry to hear of your loneliness; are you able to function in other areas of your life, or is that difficult for you at the moment? I think you are right in saying that you have to focus on getting well, but I wonder if there are other areas of your life you can find pleasure and enjoyment in?

[MeMyself&I]

I can't even make friends, let alone girlfriends. Besides, I couldn't inflict the arseholery I go through every day on someone else. It just wouldn't be fair.

[Olly.]

Originally Posted by pavlovsdog

I think it's about time we singletons stood up for ourselves! The older I have become the more I believe that life is too short to hang around hoping someone will take an interest. There is always the potential that we miss out on other things in life because we don't conform to society's need to label us and put us in neat little boxes. Why shoud we feel bad because we haven't found a mate, there's no law about it is there? I haven't had many relationships and none long-term, but I have been determined to get out there and experiencing life as much as I possibly can. So although I have SA and depression, I have had a fairly full life and much more life experience than some 'couples' I know.

Be proud to be single!

Wish I could be but I just can't, as long as I'm around other 'normal' people with their relationships the centre of their lives, which unless I become a hermit or something (and never watch tv or another film again) will always be the case as whatever I do whether in education or in a job, I'll be surrounded people and their relationships and I find it impossible seeing and hearing about everyone and their partners not to think 'why can't that be me in a happy relationship and in love'. And don't get me wrong, I don't want a relationship just for the sake of it, I genuinely want to find my soulmate, someone to share my life with, go on holidays together, get married, have a family, etc etc and can't think of anything worse than going through life and then into my old age having been alone all my life, which is exactly what I think is going to happen unfortunately. Up til recently when I realised I had SA, I had always just assumed I'd eventually get married and have kids and have a normal life, but its really starting to sink in that that normal life I had pictured isn't going to necessarily happen at all and its going to take a lot of effort on improving SA and confidence (and luck as well!) to even have a chance of finding someone.

I admire anyone for finding a way to be happy alone, I really do, but personally I desperately don't want to be, yet my SA/AvPD stops me from even having a chance of achieving what I desire. Sorry for being so bleak and miserable, its just its constantly going round my head everyday and I needed to get it off my chest.