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17th June 2021, 20:19
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
I was supposed to be going for a free boozy (prosecco) brunch on sat with an old friend of mine as she got given a voucher for xmas, pre covid. She's just msgd her NHS app has pinged saying she has come into contact with someone with covid and to self isolate for 6 days. I feel bad for her but can't make up my mind if i'm disappointed or relieved not to be going.
SA ay 
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18th June 2021, 01:53
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ Yep, that's SA for you
 I don't think I've ever felt more lonely in my life. If this is how life is going to be from now on then I wish at least I could be on a deserted Desert Island or in a remote woodland shack to feel this way.
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18th June 2021, 08:01
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^
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19th June 2021, 07:58
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
I’m doing some e learning on restaurant boh rules and practices. I realise where I work doesn’t follow all the rules but from experience I think most restaurants wouldn’t as it costs them more money to and requires an even stricter work ethic though I think that’s possible. For example I’ve read that we are meant to change Mopheads and sponges daily. I don’t think any restaurant would do that. They would complain that the sponges cost too much money probably, although I’m changing the sponges more regularly now.
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19th June 2021, 23:20
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
It’s so easy to say don’t care about what others think, you are hurting yourself. My friend gave me this advice when I disclosed that I was thinking about my cousins and not happy. He is partially correct tbh but I can’t really help what I think and feel, I can try to change it though. He wasn’t saying it from a bad place but to me it comes across as simple advice, not empathetic. Imagine if that was how someone reacted when you said you were thinking of a racist incident? Because I’m thinking my cousins reactions were based in there interpretation of me and they have only interacted online with me.
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20th June 2021, 00:27
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ Yes, I've been told that an awful lot too about not caring about what others think because it's only hurting myself. The latter part is true, but if you're a sensitive type it's not so easy to write off what other people say and do is it
 Although your friend's comment came across as dismissive I'm sure he meant well and is perhaps at a loss in how to best console you over the hurt you are feeling regarding your cousins. Your worry regarding your cousins, Amara, makes me think about my own worrying over my birth half sibling. I've been checking my phone all week to see if he has been in touch but of course he hasn't. I feel hurt, disappointed and slightly angry because I think I deserve better. I feel that I must have upset or offended him in some way when in reality he is probably just very busy OR I highly suspect that I'm just not a relevant person in his life. I want to ask him if I've said something that's upset him and to be reassured that I haven't but I know that I will come across as incredibly desperate and needy. Human interaction and the resulting rejection sucks 
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20th June 2021, 19:43
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
How home workouts help a bit with the manual tasks at work. I don’t think they help yet in carrying heavier stuff, a bit, but not much so far. More in technique, to the extent that I would consider not carrying too much for myself even.
Don’t bend your back lifting. This sounds easy to follow however I think home workouts and doing movements lifting dumbbells without bending the back has shown me a better way to do it as it makes me more aware if I am bending my back and usually it seems to mean don’t bend the lower back. Before I knew this rule but didn’t know what it meant or how it feels to bend the back. I notice how muscles work together to lift stuff, it seems depending on how I’m carrying something I am using my chest muscles or back muscles. It seems I use my core to scrub burn marks on pan trays, chest muscles for smaller objects with burn marks.
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21st June 2021, 23:58
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
A haircut makes me feel like a new person and think I look good. However I feel more anxious around people with a haircut as I think I’m afraid of having that thought taken away from me.
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22nd June 2021, 06:56
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
On social media I’m more alone than in the past. This actually seems like a pattern. Firstly I’m not following my first cousins again. Also I think because of leaving social media and joining back some people I follow, including a music producer seem more distant to me. They like most comments on their posts. They have stopped liking mines.
But tbh, I also feel the way I have used social media is too much based on the need for approval. The way to use social media healthily needs to be more balanced I should be able to share stuff through social media and vice versa. I think this applies to real life as well. Idk if this is a bigger problem with my generation though. A lot of use use social media as a way to fit in and influence others but then can’t others share or have different experiences from us without being seen as bad or in a negative light.
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23rd June 2021, 22:51
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ You can't but sadly a lot of people seem to dislike people they have never even met or got to know. I think the sort of people who judge someone harshly when they don't even know that person are probably quite toxic and you're better off without them.
Thinking have I got the word 'Mug' written across my forehead?
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24th June 2021, 11:09
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ You could message them and suggest they message you when they're free for a phonecall? And that they can then call you? I would definitely find the situation you've been in frustrating and very anxiety provoking!
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24th June 2021, 12:26
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
I'm sorry to hear this Consolida. My initial reaction is: Why aren't you getting back to Consolida! After all, this is Consolida we are talking about here! She is fantastic! I myself would be more than happy to receive carrier pigeon messages from you. So I'm sorry this isn't working out for you. Of course you need to safeguard your own feelings in all of this. But hopefully in time, it will work out for you in the end. I would also be more than happy to receive smoke signals from you as well!
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24th June 2021, 16:11
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ That sounds like a heavenly place you're day dreaming of there. Can I join you next to that little stream with my paper and crayons? I'll promise I'll be ever so quiet
 @ Indignant Misanthrope - thanks for your wise words. @ Chess&Junkfood Lol, you always manage to make me smile  If you'd be happy exchanging smoke signals with me then all I can say is that it's a pity you aren't my long lost brother.
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24th June 2021, 16:34
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ Don't you hate it when people say let's just go with the flow. I want a clear plan of what will happen and then I would like to stick as closely as possible to that please! None of this flow.
I completely understand why you're frustrated and like you say this person's actions are not matching their words.
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24th June 2021, 23:43
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^If only we were allowed to live like this in this country; we could all build our little log cabins on a large patch of land, with a decent gap between them; we'd have to have our sewage sorted, of course, ahh it could be great!
^^^Your son is quite right! I'm afraid I'm not the most reliable person myself with messages and whatnot, but I soon realise I'm being a bad friend and get back to it. Having said that, they might be messing you about. How frustrating.
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25th June 2021, 20:01
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
I feel a bit less ashamed or guilty for being socially awkward recently. Today a colleague who seems to probably talk behind my back I sense, said how I was a funny guy in a casual way. Not funny as in comedian but funny as in weird. So effing what, does weird hurt anyone?
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26th June 2021, 12:02
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Just realised I've been a SAUK member for 5 years!
Annoyingly I feel like I'm rapidly regressing back to the person I was back then.
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28th June 2021, 14:03
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Think I'm going to try and start writing my blog again and start doing my Cbt online again in the evening's to see if this helps. I seem to get very anxious about things that normal people wouldn't think twice about.
Sent from my SM-A530F using Tapatalk
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28th June 2021, 15:40
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^^
^ That sounds like a really good idea newbs, hope it goes well I can't stop myself from having intrusive thoughts about being seriously ill, I'm so stressed out about it
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28th June 2021, 18:02
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^sorry to hear that, hope you feel better soon. I get intrusive thoughts as well, they can be quite disturbing and depressing.
I blew up a piece of technology because I did something stupid by not giving it the right amount of power, . now I may have to spend £120-160 to get something else. I get pretty annoyed at myself when things like this happen, because it's like burning money and I don't have money to burn.
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