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  #25021  
Old 16th August 2021, 15:06
choirgirl choirgirl is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Ugh, so giving up around 40, instead of moving out as I could have done then - why? Now I'm going insane and I've brought it on myself and I have another load of money to earn. Because 40 seemed too late - a few years earlier and I would have been out the door. So I wimped out instead. And why did I wimp out? Because of my twin fears of penury and loneliness.
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  #25022  
Old 17th August 2021, 01:57
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I have been reading a book on highly sensitive men. I think I fit the category. I was recently beginning to get my sleep back but a few negative or unstable feeling convos with family and the sleep problems begin again. I need to cut them out of my life for now. And I’m also thinking family isn’t always blood now.
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  #25023  
Old 17th August 2021, 21:07
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Leaving my job
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  #25024  
Old 17th August 2021, 22:07
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I’m not leaving my job though
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  #25025  
Old 17th August 2021, 22:18
Wham Bam Thank You Jam Wham Bam Thank You Jam is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ How comes you're thinking about it?

I left my job in June.
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  #25026  
Old 18th August 2021, 05:28
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

The environment, sometimes I feel a lack of appreciation though I also wonder if it’s partially my fault due to anxiety and recently poor management of stress. I actually did give a notice but changed my mind after a few days. I think maybe I should just take the step though. The boss clearly seems to have a problem with me but communicates it in subtle ways. My manager said that they can’t get the supplies I need to wash the dishes for some time so is kitchen porters need to use the soap sparingly, lots of stuff breaks and isn’t the best maintained.

Yesterday, I had poor sleep and as a result went to work with a headache, because of some family issues. A headache usually happens with me from poor sleep which comes from stress. The boss came and only asked me in the kitchen if I am okay starting me in the eyes for more than a few seconds. He may not see that as serious but as someone who suffers from SA, probably has autism, I have had people signal that I’m not right for most of my life so I found that quite offensive. I also feel like I can think for myself or am as smart as most other people but because of anxiety and I guess not communicating the best it feels like people think they can speak for me.

I think I will confront the boss about it and see how he reacts first.
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  #25027  
Old 18th August 2021, 10:48
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Had your boss noticed you weren't looking too well/were looking tired and was asking if you're ok for that reason?
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  #25028  
Old 18th August 2021, 14:04
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Someone at work was telling me Sean Lock died. What a shame.
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  #25029  
Old 18th August 2021, 14:39
Tembo Tembo is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ I know, very sad. He was my favourite comedian. I ached from laughter when I went to see him live.
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  #25030  
Old 18th August 2021, 14:43
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Very sad.
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  #25031  
Old 18th August 2021, 14:51
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

It's so sad.
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  #25032  
Old 18th August 2021, 15:02
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Does anyone else struggle with a change of plans? I've just had a panic attack and cry over a minor change of plans for going shopping today. I'm not sure if I can manage it at all now
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  #25033  
Old 18th August 2021, 17:23
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ i struggle with a change of plans and with uncertainty. If I don't have a clear mental run through of what's vaguely going to happen then I'm on edge. It depends on how in control I feel. If I was doing something on my own then I wouldn't mind just winging it, but if someone else has invited me and I don't know the venue or what's going to happen then I can't relax. I clam up and shut down rather than panic. But in the lead up to it I'll be anxious and it takes over my thoughts.

Hope you are okay . Do you think there is anything you can do to help you with adapting plans next time? Maybe having or imaging a few plans or ideas of what might happen might help. Or talking through the plans with someone before you go, or going with someone else.
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  #25034  
Old 18th August 2021, 17:43
twosocks twosocks is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^ yeah. Especially if last minute or i've not been told in advance. Get a bit flustered.
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  #25035  
Old 18th August 2021, 18:03
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougella
^ Had your boss noticed you weren't looking too well/were looking tired and was asking if you're ok for that reason?
I confronted him and he said he can understand why I confronted him.
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  #25036  
Old 18th August 2021, 18:04
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^^^ Yes I do, if it's last minute or it's something that someone hasn't told me is going to be happening.
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  #25037  
Old 18th August 2021, 18:06
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by amara
I confronted him and he said he can understand why I confronted him.
What did you confront him about? Did you feel like he was criticising you?
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  #25038  
Old 19th August 2021, 06:48
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Had a good sleep for the first time in two days I would say.
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  #25039  
Old 19th August 2021, 06:54
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougella
What did you confront him about? Did you feel like he was criticising you?
About the question and staring for a few seconds. He only said it to me in front of a few chefs and no one else so I felt targeted. I felt targeted more than criticised. He apologised and I think with things like this, you have to be there or experience it to understand it.

I know things like this are small but I’ve read it’s not good to bottle up stuff and go against gut feelings, apparently in the long term as it can even lead to poorer health as it’s kind of like ignoring your central nervous system.
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  #25040  
Old 19th August 2021, 09:50
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Ah, ok.
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  #25041  
Old 19th August 2021, 23:34
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
^ i struggle with a change of plans and with uncertainty. If I don't have a clear mental run through of what's vaguely going to happen then I'm on edge. It depends on how in control I feel. If I was doing something on my own then I wouldn't mind just winging it, but if someone else has invited me and I don't know the venue or what's going to happen then I can't relax. I clam up and shut down rather than panic. But in the lead up to it I'll be anxious and it takes over my thoughts.

Hope you are okay . Do you think there is anything you can do to help you with adapting plans next time? Maybe having or imaging a few plans or ideas of what might happen might help. Or talking through the plans with someone before you go, or going with someone else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by twosocks
^^ yeah. Especially if last minute or i've not been told in advance. Get a bit flustered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougella
^^^^ Yes I do, if it's last minute or it's something that someone hasn't told me is going to be happening.
Thank you for your replies guys I'm sorry to hear you also struggle with this. It can really throw me off, however I did manage to get through it, and it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

@Biscuits Thanks for the tip, I do tend to overthink every possibility and outcome, if that's what you mean? Luckily I'm always going out with my mum, so I could talk it through a bit and have that support
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  #25042  
Old 20th August 2021, 23:01
Professor Willow Professor Willow is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

A part of me wishes that we were still in lockdown, it was lovely to not hear drunken idiots brawling in town on a Friday night.
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  #25043  
Old 21st August 2021, 11:22
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Woah - I woke up thinking it must be about 6am. It is not. Whoops
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  #25044  
Old 21st August 2021, 11:39
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Thinking about going back to bed.
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  #25045  
Old 21st August 2021, 12:25
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

That lots of things, not really but major things, have to change in my life.
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  #25046  
Old 21st August 2021, 12:32
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

This is Hip Hop, it's much more than music, it's like a way of doing things.

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  #25047  
Old 21st August 2021, 14:08
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Is it the wrong mentality to want to be attractive, liked, cool etc?

I know it's pretty normal to want these stuff. However I've wanted these stuff when in reality I am socially anxious and socially awkward. I am so isolated, even from family, that I have no idea on how to even act around kids.

I think social media makes us want these things more. For people who don't have the direct traits or haven't acquired stuff like social skill, knowledge of pop culture to be cool. Wanting these things too much is probably damaging to their mental health.

I have met people, even teachers, that came across a bit awkward, weren't really liked by the majority at first glance, but still had a lot to offer. In fact, I think their skill and what they had to offer spoke for them.

Also saw a few garden renovation videos, makes me feel I should do more DIY. It must feel good to build stuff. I think it makes you feel like you are making something better.
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  #25048  
Old 21st August 2021, 15:53
Professor Willow Professor Willow is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

It's 5 years since I came out as gay (although I now consider myself bisexual) I can remember people at the time saying how it would make me feel happier to be myself and that a whole world of exciting opportunities lay ahead of me, new friends, new experiences, blah blah blah.

So here I am 5 years later still no friends, still less sexual experience than most 16 year olds, still unhappy with life and feeling powerless to change it.
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  #25049  
Old 21st August 2021, 18:02
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Maybe I should go trade school.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoJ_H_W3VGY
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  #25050  
Old 21st August 2021, 20:15
twosocks twosocks is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

You have the stairway to heaven and the highway to hell. But no one has written a song about the moving walkway to purgatory..
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