Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Professor Willow]

I need to find something more interesting to drink than just tea.

[Amara 94]

I’m in Nigeria now and so far haven’t had much internet due to not having a Nigerian SIM card. I’ve noticed how I’m not viewing as much YouTube or online info as I can’t. I don’t feel much less anxious however I feel less pressure to act a certain way, maybe also due to visiting some cousins for the first time.

It’s made me notice how much of the online content I consume actually makes me feel like I am not enough or pressured to be a certain way. I think when I come back to the uk I have to change how I view online content.

[Hollie]

^ Hi Alone, I hope you're having a nice time in Nigeria and that all's well with your family
That's interesting what you said about cutting back on online content. I've heard how consuming too much can have negative effects on mental health and self image etc. Hopefully going offline a bit can be a positive experience for you

[Ronnie_Pickering]

starting to think too many tabs open is a disease. it's like procrastination bleeded across tabs.

[Amara 94]

Originally Posted by Hollie

^ Hi Alone, I hope you're having a nice time in Nigeria and that all's well with your family
That's interesting what you said about cutting back on online content. I've heard how consuming too much can have negative effects on mental health and self image etc. Hopefully going offline a bit can be a positive experience for you

Now that I have data I’m actually going online again. Sauk works perfectly in Nigeria. But I think I would make it a thing to avoid certain content that I feel tells me I’m not good enough or should be a certain way. I think this is more content that one would expect.

[Amara 94]

Originally Posted by affluenza

starting to think too many tabs open is a disease. it's like procrastination bleeded across tabs.

Yeah it is.

[Rocket Spud]

Ten more minutes then i can lunch break. After that there's only 2hrs to go. This has been the dullest week i've had here, and today i'm a little under the weather. I'm farting like a trooper. I've just apologised to someone who came into the same room as me. It must be horrendous.

[Hollie]

^ enjoy your lunch break, I hope you feel better soon better out than in, chin up king!

[Rocket Spud]

^Ta, Hollie. Only a bit to go..

[cymruambyth26]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^^ aw, cym. It's natural to feel this way about it. From your posts you've come a long way since that time 13 years ago and really pushed yourself try some amazing things. That is sad news that your friend is now unable to make it. Have you set another date instead? It's nice to have things to look forward to. I've started taking on little projects. I get some modelling clay from The Works and follow YouTube vidoes to make clay models. Maybe you and your friend could do something like that over zoom. Then even though you're not together, you're virtually together. I guess normal people would just have a chat on the phone or over zoom hehe

Take a little time this weekend to be gentle with yourself by having a walk in nature or by listening to a guided meditation. Try to reach out to your family as well and I'm sure your friend will be there for you even if she can't be physically hope her mri scan is okay.

Thank you for your post. Sorry it's taken a few days to reply. My friend was equally disappointed as well. She spoke of her heart sinking when she read the letter and saw her scan was on the day she was meant to be visiting me. She was very disappointed and had got her suitcase down ready.

I think we are attempting to arrange another visit...most likely now a day trip one weekend or during the next half term holiday. I have thought about ringing her as well as she said to me that if she ever saw that I was calling her on the phone she would always answer her phone for me. I have also thought about sending audio clips or having a video call.

[Consolida]

^ Yes indeed. I LOVE garlic

My mum's sister has messaged me to see how things are going. Should I say "I'm fine thanks" or say "I'm struggling to get through each day and hope that one day I just won't wake up"

[Hollie]

^ I never understood why people ask how someone's doing and then get annoyed when they get anything other than an 'okay thanks' kind of message. I wish we could just be honest when people ask that kind of question.

[cymruambyth26]

^ I agree

I've always found a better question to be how are you feeling today? I seem to get more honest answer to that question than just ok thanks.

[Hollie]

^ that's a good idea, it seems like a better way to encourage openness

[Ronnie_Pickering]

I am always impressed how Argos still keeps going.

[Hollie]

^ do they still have the books? (We called it the 'dream book' as kids)

[Bluebear]

^ ^ ^ ^

I agree too, some people only ever want to hear the ''ok thanks'' so why ask in the first place? I wish people could be more open

[BFG_]

Symptoms - Bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder is characterised by extreme mood swings. These can range from extreme highs (mania) to extreme lows (depression).

Episodes of mania and depression often last for several weeks or months.

Depression

During a period of depression, your symptoms may include:

feeling sad, hopeless or irritable most of the timelacking energydifficulty concentrating and remembering thingsloss of interest in everyday activitiesfeelings of emptiness or worthlessnessfeelings of guilt and despairfeeling pessimistic about everythingself-doubtbeing delusional, having hallucinations and disturbed or illogical thinkinglack of appetitedifficulty sleepingwaking up earlysuicidal thoughtsMania

The manic phase of bipolar disorder may include:

feeling very happy, elated or overjoyedtalking very quicklyfeeling full of energyfeeling self-importantfeeling full of great new ideas and having important plansbeing easily distractedbeing easily irritated or agitatedbeing delusional, having hallucinations and disturbed or illogical thinkingnot feeling like sleepingnot eatingdoing things that often have disastrous consequences –*such as spending large sums of money on expensive and sometimes unaffordable itemsmaking decisions or saying things that are out of character and that others see as being risky or harmful


-----------------------------------------------------------------

Isn't that just how everyone feels all the time?

[biscuits]

^ Reading through it and it doesn't feel like it describes how I experience the world. I do sleepwalk from time to time - which is fairly terrifying!

Is that how you feel all the time, BFG?

[biscuits]

I just checked my voicemails. Checking voicemails gives me higher anxiety than answering the phone! The pharmacy left a a message to say that they haven't got any flu jab trained pharmacist to give me a flu jab tomorrow. At least I can rebook it online.

[BFG_]

^Highs and lows but not the hallucinations.

Reading online it's apparently harder to diagnose bipolar in autistic people. So who knows. I'm sure my purple elephant friend would tell me if there was a genuine problem.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by BFG_

^Highs and lows but not the hallucinations.

Reading online it's apparently harder to diagnose bipolar in autistic people. So who knows. I'm sure my purple elephant friend would tell me if there was a genuine problem.

I certainly have heard that some people can feel and experience things more intensely.

[Bored]

Originally Posted by NeverWas

I wish Iggy Pop would put a shirt on.

Iggy Pop is ok , but can he really sing , he's no Harry Styles , and he doesn't show his penis in public

[biscuits]

^ &^^

Two worlds could collide if we passive aggressively get Iggy this for Christmas:

[biscuits]

Originally Posted by BFG_

^Highs and lows but not the hallucinations.

Reading online it's apparently harder to diagnose bipolar in autistic people. So who knows. I'm sure my purple elephant friend would tell me if there was a genuine problem.

Have you read up on bipolar ll (bipolar two) and cyclothymia?

[Ronnie_Pickering]

Originally Posted by Hollie

^ do they still have the books? (We called it the 'dream book' as kids)

not since they joined Sainsburys I think. Now it's like a computer terminal.

[Amara 94]

How I am thinking of identity and culture is weird right now.

I actually feel like I’m more British having been to Nigeria now. In Nigeria the people feel familiar and more people look like me. But then I feel so different in the way I dress, talk, walk and my values. I feel like I stand out if I do anything in Nigeria more than in the uk, London.

Yet when in London, I didn’t feel Nigerian because I didn’t speak to many Nigerians. I felt British but the fact that it feels like most Black people, on media, and a few I have met irl try to carve out an identity that they are different to White British people. Or Black immigrants usually hold on to traditional stuff they had or did in their native country as a Black British I felt different to White British people. I feel like I am more British than I felt before going Nigeria tbh. I think I probably have to mix with more British people.

My mum cooked me Nigerian food as a child regularly before she became more mentally ill. I was thinking about how it isn’t unusual for a British Black person to not be used to Nigerian or African food because they wouldn’t be used to the spiciness. It’s weird in a way.

I feel I’m the West people feel like they need to hold onto their native culture more. Here because it’s mostly Blacks people in Nigeria I feel less need to hold onto typical black stereotypes I probably don’t even fit but I feel more pressure to seem somehow because I have lived in the West.

Hopefully when I go back to the uk I stop giving a **** about black stereotypes or being called an Oreo or bounty, speaking White, acting White. I know it’s only two weeks but the act of maybe travelling more places and Nigeria more should relieve the pressure of a fictional Black image I feel pressured to fit in in the UK.

[Professor Willow]

Some people are so full of shit it's unbelievable, unless of course you're a dumb sucker like me.

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by NeverWas

I wish Iggy Pop would put a shirt on.

But then, it would stick to all the peanut butter

[biscuits]

Aw sad to hear that Angela Lansbury has died.