Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Dougella]

^^ Lots of women aren't like that, I think it's just that some people like to post things on Facebook. You're not at all unlikeable, it's just very difficult when you have SA

[Amara 94]

Trying Skydiving one day

[Amara 94]

Originally Posted by Dougella

There would be nothing wrong with speaking to and getting to know this girl, there's as much chance you'll get on with eachother as anyone else (I hope she has a choice whether she ultimately marries you though lol.)

With the family pressure to get married. It's actually made me think I need to live more of my truth. I notice I am interested in haircutting and wanna learn makeup as I follow makeup artists on Instagram.

I have quite feminine interests and some masculine. I have never seriously been into sports though. I think I really need to express and get more comfortable with my feminine side to be okay in a relationship, if that makes sense. Most of my relationships, which haven't been that close honestly have been me compromising parts of myself.

I think one thing stopping me from getting in a relationship is that despite knowing which types of women turn me on, I am not certain about which women or men I really like due to not getting close to most people. I am not even certain on my sexual orientation.

[Amara 94]

Instagram is actually quickly starting to feel old fashioned or something that teens won't join in a few years.

[Dougella]

^ They're on tiktok now!

[anxiouslondoner]

Youtube, Facebook, Instagram are desperate to imitate tiktok to attract young people to their surveillance platforms* but they seem to be going the wrong way about it, just by trying to copy the short form portrait video trend, which seems like a Polynesian cargo cult trying to build an airstrip out of bamboo and expecting the US Airforce to return. Of course the fact that this is also a way to pack in even more ads to people more susceptible to them is a bonus.
The reason young people don't use FB et al is because their parents do.
* I'm not suggesting that tiktok isn't another surveillance platform, of course it is.

[Amara 94]

Even youtube doesn't seem as trendy. It feels stable though but very hard to become big just using youtube nowadays. Coming big on youtube alone now, I'm not the most current person when it comes to celeb culture, seems to be becoming as hard as making it big on TV must have been.

Maybe the trend of becoming an influencer may die or evolve in a sense that it becomes less accessible to become one.

[Amara 94]

My mum has been in a mental hospital and then a mental hostel for few months. She called the fire brigade and ambulance to our house a few days ago. When she calls or comes home she usually asks about borrowing money. It's like money is the most important thing to her. Currently no wifi at home, I think because she wants to stop paying the wifi and electricity and move out the house. I tried to pay for the wifi but it's a long process as I can't prove I'm the one living at the property as I didn't use to pay the bills and tax under my name.

My mum wants to move out. My aunt, mum's ex-friend, said I should inform her social worker about this and relocate her if it's possible.

I think I am going to do this, but also feel, although tougher because of money and house sharing, it's time to move out.

My mum's ex friend has a new husband and when I last visited her, her son was angry because he broke up with his girlfriend and now lost his house. So he wanted to move back in, but on the condition that my aunt kicked her husband out of the house. I think he was in a very bad mood and thought at the time he had the option of house share or something if he didn't want to move home. Made me feel I should be more responsible rather than try to change what I can't.

For me, the UK actually feels lonely and depressing, although I don't know if I would want to live in another country where I can't speak the language. I saw my grans friend who lives in the UK. The difference I noticed is that she had 24/7 electricity and stuff however in Nigeria my grannies sister had 24/7 house help. Despite the power cuts my gran and her sister had much more social support than her friend in the UK. The stereotype of lonely old people might be a UK thing.

But then perhaps I find the UK lonely because I am not really part of a support group, in real life and am not religious. I don't feel I want to be religious but church definitely offers social support. My cousin is trying to make me religious, I have to do prayers with her and stuff. I don't know how to say no without breaking the connection. She is in Nigeria. I feel I am quitting my job when I find another one. The main thing I would miss at my job, to be honest, is the social support from one security guard. The general manager doesn't even seem to acknowledge me but seems friendlier with others. My job is depressing for me.

[Professor Willow]

I've not been to work for 8 days, I'm going to have to go back soon and the anxiety is getting out of hand.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Alone.

My mum has been in a mental hospital and then a mental hostel for few months. She called the fire brigade and ambulance to our house a few days ago. When she calls or comes home she usually asks about borrowing money. It's like money is the most important thing to her. Currently no wifi at home, I think because she wants to stop paying the wifi and electricity and move out the house. I tried to pay for the wifi but it's a long process as I can't prove I'm the one living at the property as I didn't use to pay the bills and tax under my name.

My mum wants to move out. My aunt, mum's ex-friend, said I should inform her social worker about this and relocate her if it's possible.

I think I am going to do this, but also feel, although tougher because of money and house sharing, it's time to move out.

My mum's ex friend has a new husband and when I last visited her, her son was angry because he broke up with his girlfriend and now lost his house. So he wanted to move back in, but on the condition that my aunt kicked her husband out of the house. I think he was in a very bad mood and thought at the time he had the option of house share or something if he didn't want to move home. Made me feel I should be more responsible rather than try to change what I can't.

For me, the UK actually feels lonely and depressing, although I don't know if I would want to live in another country where I can't speak the language. I saw my grans friend who lives in the UK. The difference I noticed is that she had 24/7 electricity and stuff however in Nigeria my grannies sister had 24/7 house help. Despite the power cuts my gran and her sister had much more social support than her friend in the UK. The stereotype of lonely old people might be a UK thing.

But then perhaps I find the UK lonely because I am not really part of a support group, in real life and am not religious. I don't feel I want to be religious but church definitely offers social support. My cousin is trying to make me religious, I have to do prayers with her and stuff. I don't know how to say no without breaking the connection. She is in Nigeria. I feel I am quitting my job when I find another one. The main thing I would miss at my job, to be honest, is the social support from one security guard. The general manager doesn't even seem to acknowledge me but seems friendlier with others. My job is depressing for me.

Sorry you're going through difficult things with your Mum again, it's good she's been somewhere where she can get help.

If your Mum's flat/house is social housing you might be able to take over the tenancy, if you can afford the rent and bills. Or you could possibly go on the list for a place of your own.

[anxiouslondoner]

I really need a haircut, but I don't want to go.

[biscuits]

^ I've just been. The salmon still does the silent service where they don't chat to you and it is glorious.

[Percy]

Do you pay extra for this silent service?

[Wham Bam Thank You Jam]

^ And if they do, how do they tell you?

[Percy]

^That made me laugh.

[anxiouslondoner]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^ I've just been. The salmon still does the silent service where they don't chat to you and it is glorious.

I don't mind that, because I obviously give off "don't talk to me" vibes by being incapable of conversation.
I'd quite like a not having to look at my own reflection for the next fifteen minutes service. Or a no buyer's remorse service.

Originally Posted by percy

Do you pay extra for this silent service?

It's 50p for each word they don't say. They count them up with a little pocket meter.

[anxiouslondoner]

I'm so glad we get an extra hour this weekend.

Wasn't there a way on here to change the colour scheme? I can't find it. Maybe I'm completely misremembering.

[Ronnie_Pickering]

seaside towns are bad designs.

[biscuits]

^^ I really need an extra hour, marvellous!

Originally Posted by Percy

Do you pay extra for this silent service?

paying people to shut up. No, it's just something you request when booking

[biscuits]

I just chopped up the strongest onion and my eyes were streaming. I thought I’d perfected onion chopping without crying. What a stinger.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^^ I really need an extra hour, marvellous!



paying people to shut up. No, it's just something you request when booking

That's good, not a service i need, i actually like talking to my barber.

[biscuits]

^ I think my hairdresser likes having a moment of quiet time too! It's fantastic because so many people are put off by going to the hairdressers because of the forced chatter. It's great if people find that sort of things come naturally to them. It's nice to have the choice and to feel included.

[Percy]

^Couldn't agree more, having the choice makes all the difference.

[choirgirl]

Jobs and careers. I bombed an interview last week and I've got to go to a careers fair. I'm so fed up of them. I've never got the hang of them. At the interview, I realised that some employers call what I would call jobs careers if there's some long term development of staff. I find this quite confusing, and I'm a bit suspicious of it. It's like calling dating marriage. Nothing wrong with a job, but it seems a bit daft to call it a career.

Also I'm annoyed I never sorted this stuff out before and I still have to sort it and pretend to care about 'careers' when I don't. And I have to pretend I don't care about having children ever when I'm struggling with this trapped energy that has nowhere to go and I have to work out how to manage it. And I'm being bratty because I'm so tired of raising energy to care about things, and repress energy elsewhere, and I don't seem to have ever worked out how to do those things well enough. I just have no intrinsic interest in careers for their own sake, let alone, laughably, jobs calling themselves careers. I want to do my duty, preferably without it taking too much out of me, but other than that the main point to me is to fund building a life of your own. Anyway, if I'd sorted out the career thing I might have been able to pivot in my mid to late 30s, but I didn't. I suppose I've always had a bad attitude.

The moderate improvement of the social anxiety and the rise of the don't give a ****ness, I'm old, I'm a loser and I don't get to have the life I'd want and I have to live with that until I die has at least made me less anxious, but unfortunately I have to balance this without conveying any I don't give a ****ness in a work situation. This is new for me, I always very much gave a ****, so I haven't learnt it yet.

[Amara 94]

Social anxiety is a real problem that usually isn’t taken seriously enough

[Dougella]

^ You're right there.

[Ronnie_Pickering]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

Jobs and careers. I bombed an interview last week and I've got to go to a careers fair. I'm so fed up of them. I've never got the hang of them. At the interview, I realised that some employers call what I would call jobs careers if there's some long term development of staff. I find this quite confusing, and I'm a bit suspicious of it. It's like calling dating marriage. Nothing wrong with a job, but it seems a bit daft to call it a career.

Also I'm annoyed I never sorted this stuff out before and I still have to sort it and pretend to care about 'careers' when I don't. And I have to pretend I don't care about having children ever when I'm struggling with this trapped energy that has nowhere to go and I have to work out how to manage it. And I'm being bratty because I'm so tired of raising energy to care about things, and repress energy elsewhere, and I don't seem to have ever worked out how to do those things well enough. I just have no intrinsic interest in careers for their own sake, let alone, laughably, jobs calling themselves careers. I want to do my duty, preferably without it taking too much out of me, but other than that the main point to me is to fund building a life of your own. Anyway, if I'd sorted out the career thing I might have been able to pivot in my mid to late 30s, but I didn't. I suppose I've always had a bad attitude.

The moderate improvement of the social anxiety and the rise of the don't give a ****ness, I'm old, I'm a loser and I don't get to have the life I'd want and I have to live with that until I die has at least made me less anxious, but unfortunately I have to balance this without conveying any I don't give a ****ness in a work situation. This is new for me, I always very much gave a ****, so I haven't learnt it yet.

Same here to be honest. Careers fairs, I've always seen them as silly, companies are there for a presence and a day out rather than it actually being anything.

[biscuits]

I just do not know what to make for dinner.

[anxiouslondoner]

^ pie

[Wham Bam Thank You Jam]

^^ Make a nice pasta dish with a homemade tomato based sauce. If you haven't got any tomatoes, get some from under your nan's table.