How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Abigail Hobbs]

^ No idea. I'm not expecting anything for at least six months, and even that's optimistic, I think.

[Silent Ninja]

^ Sorry you feel that way

[David K]

Originally Posted by either/or

I feel cheap, used and poorly.

[anxiouslondoner]

Originally Posted by either/or

I feel cheap, used and poorly.

My own dumb fault, except the poorly bit. Thanks

Hope you get better and feel better soon.

mousey hugs?

yes that makes me feel better, thank you.

[Abigail Hobbs]

^ Hope you feel better Either/Or.

I feel needy and pathetic but nothing has changed there.

[Pandapop]

In pain, gawd I'm having one awful period.


But I'm getting more and more excited for Christmas, I want it to be December already.

[Abigail Hobbs]

Lonely.

[Nostracarmus]

Toxic, foul mood that I can't shake at all today.

[Ali29]

Lonely pathetic and friendless

[Caribou]

Been asked if I want to go out for a Christmas meal with a load of people from MIND. Noooooooooooooo chance! Utter nightmare. Can't eat in public and can't stand social stuff like that.

[MLP James]

Every time I go outside people always stare at me. It's like they know just by looking at me.

[David K]

^^ I get that feeling sometimes. I think some of it is my imagination, and sometimes people are waiting to see if they should smile and say hi but don't want to be the first to do it. I also find that when I'm feeling shy I try not to look at people, so it feels kinda threatening when they don't do the same.

[Azi]

Originally Posted by Ali29

Lonely pathetic and friendless

Sorry you're feeling like that, Ali.

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by MLP James

Every time I go outside people always stare at me. It's like they know just by looking at me.

That is paranoia James.

But sometimes you end up looking for it, looking for people staring at you and you are the one who ends up staring, then they end up staring at you, wondering what you are staring at lol.

You look normal and there's nothing to stare at.

Believe me, there's nothing wrong with the way you look, or anything like that.

I suggest that when you go out, to slow down. Chill and stroll around. It makes you less anxious than darting about, trying to get from A to B as quick as possible.

Also, look around at your surroundings and if you look at people, just give them a quick glance and look at someone or something else.

Trust me you'll start to feel better, more relaxed and then you'll actually start to people watch more and realize that most people aren't staring at you and they are not even giving you a second thought.

[Caribou]

^ Great advice

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Caribou

Been asked if I want to go out for a Christmas meal with a load of people from MIND. Noooooooooooooo chance! Utter nightmare. Can't eat in public and can't stand social stuff like that.

Do you never eat inside the chippy, KFC etc Lee?

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Caribou

^ Great advice

It works.

My eye contact issues have got much better and I now actually spend a lot of time watching people, instead of glancing them and moving onto to someone/something else.

And I find myself going up to people to talk to them as well.

I think I've got to this age now where I can't be arsed to be that anxious anymore. lol

Still got loads of other bloody issues that I don't see doing one and leaving me the feck alone anytime soon, though.

[Caribou]

Originally Posted by Cairn

Do you never eat inside the chippy, KFC etc Lee?

I don't. It stems from being bullied at school during meal times. I learned to associate eating in public with fear and anxiety. Never been able to shake it off to this day.

[Caribou]

Originally Posted by Cairn

It works.

My eye contact issues have got much better and I now actually spend a lot of time watching people, instead of glancing them and moving onto to someone/something else.

And I find myself going up to people to talk to them as well.

I think I've got to this age now where I can't be arsed to be that anxious anymore. lol

Still got loads of other bloody issues that I don't see doing one and leaving me the feck alone anytime soon, though.

Well done with that one

[Cairn]

I used to hate eating in public, and still do a bit, but I'm such a greedy **** my appetite forces me to eat in any situation where food is available. lol

I reckon you should go right in at the deep end Lee and go to a busy carvery pub, fill your plate with a pea mountain and eat every last pea in the middle of the room, with one of those thin dessert forks.

There's nothing more anxiety inducing than trying to keep yourself from shaking and flinging peas everywhere, in peoples laps, drinks, hair etc.

The PMC, Pea Mountain Challenge, is the ultimate challenge for anxious eaters!

[Caribou]

Originally Posted by Cairn

I used to hate eating in public, and still do a bit, but I'm such a greedy **** my appetite forces me to eat in any situation where food is available. lol

Originally Posted by Cairn

I reckon you should go right in at the deep end Lee and go to a busy carvery pub, fill your plate with a pea mountain and eat every last pea in the middle of the room, with one of those thin dessert forks.

There's nothing more anxiety inducing than trying to keep yourself from shaking and flinging peas everywhere, in peoples laps, drinks, hair etc.

The PMC, Pea Mountain Challenge, is the ultimate challenge for anxious eaters!

Pea off

[Abigail Hobbs]

^^ Nandos is the greatest. You're secretly glad I pushed you into it.

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by flumpsy

It is funny, the actual eating I am fine with. Obviously I could eat an entire plate of actual fresh turds rather than complain that somehow I have been given a plate of actual fresh turds but the food side I am ok with. (as long as it is fresh )

When I go to a carvery (which I agree, is very tough indeed) I tend to pre-pea my hair anyway. It is going to happen, why not be prepared. No sir, dont apologise or god forbid touch me, those peas were there before, leave me alone and slop up your gruel before you go back for seconds or thirds.

Speaking to a waiter, not finding something I want to eat, any form of confusion, telling them what I thought of my food, not knowing where stuff is (fck you nandos, there is no such thing as an unlimited coke(hmmm unlimited coke), I want YOU to fill the glass up once and bring it to ME), and of course, toilets with symbols I dont understand on the doors rather than the classic "gents".

Angry as I am I did all these in the last week so perhaps, maybe in future, it wont seem so bad. Still, nandos can go to hell LMAO

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Caribou

Pea off

[umm]

Originally Posted by MLP James

Every time I go outside people always stare at me. It's like they know just by looking at me.

I know the feeling. As the others have said, let's say its not paranoia (because it never feels like that, does it? It feels like people are actually staring so let's go with that). If you worry about it and maybe act a little nervous you may catch their attention more - making it a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy - but it really doesn't matter because:

- a. they will probably look away just as quickly unless you happen to be George Clooney or someone; and

- b. even if they don't, if they just stare and stare and stare - well, that's pretty strange of them and definitely more their issue than yours., and

- c. If they stare at you, it means you are the most interesting thing to happen to them that day, and

- d. it's not a crime to be nervous. So they're staring at you. Let them. As long as they are not punching you in the face, is it so bad?

I make these points to help diffuse the worry and paranoia about this stuff. I used to be convinced everyone was staring, out to get me and so forth. I still feel that way sometimes, but I don't worry about it. If someone wants to stare, so what? What do I care? Stare away; feast your eyes. They can be sure I'm paying them no attention whatsoever. So what if it feels like they know my every weakness. Even if they could read my mind - which they can't, they may get a vague sense of me via body language and shared experiences but that's all - they would have a hard time deciphering its contents, much less acting civilised when faced with what they found there. And if they can't hold back, if they simply have to do some violence to me, then I call the cops and get them banged up. Maybe swing a couple of punches in the bargain. I dunno. It's never actually happened but it's like a little act I adopt when out and nervous to help me through.

I found that once I adopted this approach, either people stopped staring or I stopped noticing. Hope this helps.

[Abigail Hobbs]

^^Was I not the one who ordered you a beer with a name I could barely pronounce and with the added risk of getting ID'd? Don't play me at that game, sir.

[Nostracarmus]

Invisible.

Clearly not my day today.

[Nostracarmus]

Just needed a bit of attention, cheers.

Now I know my posts are actually being posted, always a plus.

[newbs16]

^ are you okay?

[Abigail Hobbs]

Originally Posted by flumpsy

^^ ID'd in watford nandos , even the baby breastfeeding at the next table had a vodka chaser.

Stop belittling my achievements.