Work colleague making me feel stupid

[Marie8]

This colleague started a few months ago and since they started they have made me feel stupid and it's really getting to me now.

It's not even major things but silly little things that I'm sure most people do sometimes. The anxiety is making it a lot worse and I go to work every day worrying what am I going to do wrong what are they going to pull me up on today. I feel like my every move is being watched and judged. I can tell they get very frustarted with me and don't like me, they roll their eyes, shake their head and laugh at me

Pretty much every day they ask me why I did something this way or that way. And silly things like I forgot to open the desk drawers, check the mail box, not turning on a light, having to be reminded of a procedure, starting a new sheet before the previous is finished without realising, getting a name mixed up.

It's making me feel down and upset and useless and it's stupid because these are not major things but all these little put downs are getting to me. Is this bullying, are they just a perfectionist, are they trying to make themselves feel better. I don't know and
I don't feel I can talk to my manager about this. Everyone at work really likes this person, theyre very chatty and social, so it would just make it awkward.

I could feel my race burning, eyes watering today and worried I'm going yo end up embarrassing myself at work. I try explaining myself but I end up just laughing it off. I dont feel I need to explain myself about most things anyway. Wish I could stand up for myself but I'm never any good at that. Ive always been very sensitive but I think other people would be affected if every day someone nit picked at them. I probably make more little mistakes or forget things because of the increased anxiety but I'm feeling like I just want to quit.

[Dougella]

^ Are they directly in charge of you or your manager or anything? Because if not they're not responsible for pointing out anything that you might be doing wrong etc.

[Marie8]

Hey, no, theyre an office assistant like me, same pay grade. But they did used to be a manager in a previous job..

[Dougella]

Hmm, sounds like they think they're still a manager when they're not!

[biscuits]

Is there any opportunity for you to be moved to a different department or area?
It might be worth saying to your boss that you'd like to get experience in a different role.
Is that a possibility? Then you can get away from her without directly mentioning the reason to your boss.

If that's not possible, could you make a checklist of things you need to do. That might help. It's hard to remember all the things you need to do when you have eyes on you! And I imagine you feel those eyes penetrating you like a laser.

It's hard with SA but have you tried to get to know her a bit more personally. It might help to build up a relationship with her. Little touches like offering to make her a tea. Asking how her weekend was. What's she's having for dinner.

[Hayman]

I'm sorry to hear that, Marie. Unfortunately there's always at least 'one' in every workplace that likes to cause trouble for others.

I can only echo what others have already said and if you can pluck up the courage, bring this up subtly with your manager. Time it right in a way which it doesn't appear that you're deliberately 'going' just for that person to begin with.

My own nearest example to yours would be our former office manager, who thankfully left the company over four years ago now. I had to endure her sneers for close to eight years and believe me, it was a relief when she announced she was retiring. She'd correct words I was saying and would question why I was doing things (very menial) certain ways. In the 21 years of my working career, I have never worked with anyone so pedantic. There were many days which she'd turn me into a stuttering wreck - of which she'd then micro-pick on words I was trying to say.

Obviously I had no one to go to because of her position. Well, I could have gone to the operations director. The odd thing about this however, is that he didn't particularly like her himself and had his own problem with her - but made no attempt at dealing with it.

Fortunately whilst I did bear the brunt of this, I know I wasn't the only one. Another colleague of mine went though similar situations with her and two other employees in the company also openly expressed their delight when she did finally leave. The last I heard from her whereabouts (and it was second-hand information) is that she now works at a local sandwich shop about a mile and a half up the road - of which no one at work uses any more.