Birthdays

Silent Ninja · #1 12th March 2014, 20:20

Does anyone else find themselves getting depressed around the time of their birthday (and New Year) due to the fact that you're still stuck in the same routine of life that you were last year without any real change or improvement and you can't really see a way of getting out of it easily.

It was my birthday yesterday (turned 36) and although I didn't get as down as some years I still got a little off/angry with life.

Also no friends means no cards which is always depressing.

Gog · #2 13th March 2014, 00:12

That's sad. I know what you mean.I used to but then after a while I learnt to ignore the feelings of longing as they make me feel even worse.

Happy Birthday for yesterday anyway.

Have this fantastic looking chocolate cake although its beginning to look a little like dog turds on the top!

Silent Ninja · #3 13th March 2014, 20:00

Wow thanks for the cake (it does look a bit like dog turds on the top though).

I had quite a nice real cake this year, my Mum made me a tiramisu, which turned out really well.

Consolida · #4 13th March 2014, 20:11

Yep, I can relate to that totally Troy. Birthdays and the New Year are always particularly depressing times for me because I tend to look back over the year at how little I've done to improve my life. As the years roll by time seems to speed up and I've just got a whole load of regrets and less and less time to do all the things I dreamt of achieving but couldn't find the motivation to do anything about. I feel like I've wasted my life big time. My birthday is next month but i shall try to ignore it because it will just serve to remind me that there's nothing much ahead of me now but false teeth and incontinence pads

Oh, btw, hope your birthday yesterday was a happy one. 36 years young sounds pretty good to me

Would have posted you a cake but this lil guy got to it first

Amplexor · #5 13th March 2014, 21:02

Happy birthday for the day before yesterday!!

Silent Ninja · #6 13th March 2014, 22:41

Thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone.

I didn't get too bad on my actual birthday this year, but am a little down today (although this could be down to tiredness from over-exercising on my time off work).

Amber Fyre · #7 14th March 2014, 05:43

Happy belated birthday. I hope you feel better soon

I get very depressed on my birthday too. Not quite sure why really. I have really depressive thoughts and feel like no one cares. Then the next day I feel better. Doesn't help that my birthday is on the new year either!!

I think feeling depressed about birthdays is extremely common unfortunately. We often imagine that everyone else enjoys them and has a great time with loads of friends, but in reality a large percentage of people get really down and wish they could skip them.

Sunshine Recorder · #8 15th March 2014, 00:50

I recently joined the 'real' club 30-81, and now that I'm 3 decades old, and haven't had anything really significant happen to me, I'm starting to feel a little down about it.

*Le sigh* I wish I could've turned 21 instead.

Silent Ninja · #9 15th March 2014, 19:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Entity

I recently joined the 'real' club 30-81, and now that I'm 3 decades old, and haven't had anything really significant happen to me, I'm starting to feel a little down about it.

*Le sigh* I wish I could've turned 21 instead.

I managed to hold these sort of feelings back until in the last year or so but it's really starting to get to me now.

Laura84 · #10 17th March 2014, 11:32

I turned 30 yesterday so I guess I can post in here now

Sunshine Recorder · #11 17th March 2014, 12:16

Happy Birthday for yesterday, Laura!

ExSAguy · #12 17th March 2014, 14:51

I think that I hit 30 this month is the reason I am so down.
THIRTY years old, no wife, no kids, no girlfriend, no friends, no interests, still a virgin, shit job etc etc.

thirty ****ing years and all I got to show is a very tired looking man

Silent Ninja · #13 18th March 2014, 00:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExSAguy

I think that I hit 30 this month is the reason I am so down.
THIRTY years old, no wife, no kids, no girlfriend, no friends, no interests, still a virgin, shit job etc etc.

thirty ****ing years and all I got to show is a very tired looking man

I think from reading your posts that we are quite similar, I have used this forum to make myself feel a bit better about being me because it has shown me that there are other people out there with problems like myself which has helped me feel less isolated from society, I'm not sure what I can say to help you but just the thought that I am not completely alone with my problems has helped me.

Laura84 · #14 18th March 2014, 21:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Entity

Happy Birthday for yesterday, Laura!

Thank you

pheys · #15 20th March 2014, 20:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Troy

I think from reading your posts that we are quite similar, I have used this forum to make myself feel a bit better about being me because it has shown me that there are other people out there with problems like myself which has helped me feel less isolated from society, I'm not sure what I can say to help you but just the thought that I am not completely alone with my problems has helped me.

thanks dude.
this site tends to make me feel worse, so we differ there lol.
I am just too scared/lazy to take a chance and get out there.
my SA is minimal, I just know that people won't like ME so I don't even try.
I feel I need someone with the patience of a saint to hold my hand and guide me through social situations.
sadly, such people don't exist.
do you feel similar?

Silent Ninja · #16 22nd March 2014, 15:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by sickofSA

thanks dude.
this site tends to make me feel worse, so we differ there lol.
I am just too scared/lazy to take a chance and get out there.
my SA is minimal, I just know that people won't like ME so I don't even try.
I feel I need someone with the patience of a saint to hold my hand and guide me through social situations.
sadly, such people don't exist.
do you feel similar?

To be honest I was trying to cheer you up, looking on here sometimes gets me down too.

In regards to someone helping, this is exactly how I have felt for about 10 years now, I have hoped that somehow with my limited going out (work and then just cycling really) that I will meet someone who would be able to help me get out and enjoy life.

This was originally just someone to be a friend but now I'm felling more and more desperate for it to be a woman I could have a relationship with, but I'm starting to realise now that life isn't going to work like that for me, there is no amazing person I'm fated to be with who will just one day happen in to my life.

Just one last point on the lazy comment, I have given this kind of feeling much thought, often blaming myself for just being too lazy to do anything about my problems but I think you have to look at it like this, having to motivate yourself quite strongly just to go out somewhere and eat (a big problem for me) or just to any social situation where you are scared to talk to anyone or just to do anything new is not something experienced by everyone

Quite a lot of people just do these things without any thought or anxiety so maybe we have higher levels of SA than we are giving ourselves credit for and shouldn't be beating ourselves up over being too lazy to get on with life.

jeeves · #17 25th March 2014, 23:09

It isn't about being lazy.

Blaming yourself in this way is just part of the 'illness' / state of mind.

Yeh, I'm 40 - live with my mum, no GF, only half a job with no colleagues & have watched all my friends move away/ get married & have children & stuff. Its really quite scary. My brother & father probably wouldn't give a shit if something happened to me, they don't bother with me unless they have to - I guess I make them uncomfortable.

I've talked to my father about a kid next door (who is so super shy he never even looks up from the pavement, & i've never heard him speak), I expressed how difficult life must be for him & to my disgust my dad said something along the lines of 'thats tough shit then'......

I do think that if you get out there in some way, you can happen to meet people who are 'good'. They do exist.

The irony of my current situation is that I want to do some travelling before I get older, I have the time & money, but can't find the courage to go alone......airports /planes /hotel dinners freak me out. I might just try driving to scotland instead when the weather picks up - who knows...

Back on topic;

This new year I have found myself profoundly depressed - i part due to the lack of sunlight which hits me super-hard - my birthdays depress me somewhat but it occurs during high summer so doesn't hit as bad as new year/xmas.

Silent Ninja · #18 26th March 2014, 19:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeeves

Back on topic;

This new year I have found myself profoundly depressed - i part due to the lack of sunlight which hits me super-hard - my birthdays depress me somewhat but it occurs during high summer so doesn't hit as bad as new year/xmas.

Yeah, this time of year seems to be worse for me than the middle of winter, I get my birthday and then (for me anyway) as winter turns to spring I still can't get out on my bike as much as I want to and I always find that season changes mess up my sleep patterns, especially if the temperature isn't being very consistent (like warm spells to cold snaps as we have just experienced).